Veteran's Day 11/11/11

As I was scrolling through facebook posts today and preparing to write my blog post about Veterans Day and 11/11/11, I came across a wonderful quote from my dear friend Amanda Richter: "So maybe 11/11/11 means this day is more important. And it is Veterans Day - a day to remember those who have given us the freedoms we wake up to. But, I have always been someone who believes no one day is different than the rest. They are ALL special, ALL a gift, and should be treated as such."

As a society we tend to wait until there's a holiday or a 'big' day to take time to reflect and remember what is important in life. We all get caught up in what I like to call the hamster wheel of life and forget to take time out to appreciate, to feel gratitude, to find peace in our hearts through our breath and allow ourselves to just be. I know that because I did not have the skills or knowledge of self care, the practice of yoga, meditation and breathing, I burned out in my job as a social worker at the Department of Veterans Affairs. But before I did, I had the privilege and honor to journey with our nation's veterans as a social worker for almost 20 years.

My first position at the VA was as the Visual Impairment Services Team Coordinator. I remember 12/5/1988 as though it were yesterday. I had no experience working with visually impaired individuals. I was honest and told the veterans that I was going to learn from them, that we would learn together and I would bring all of my skills as a clinical social worker to help them adapt to their vision loss. This was my favorite position at the VA. I was a program coordinator and was able to combine my public relations and marketing skills with my social work skills. Because of changes in the system, I was transferred to medical social work where I would have the opportunity to meet men and women who bore witness to our nation's history. I was privileged to work with the former Prisoner of War program and the Geriatric Team. I met veterans who, because of loyalty to their oath as soldiers would carry secrets with them to their grave; secrets that were eating away at their heart and soul but they could not unburden themselves and heal.

My focus here is NOT the politics of war or the VA. My motto always has been that this is about people not politics. 11/11/11 is a day of Oneness - to paraphrase my friend Amanda - everyday should be a day of Oneness. Every day a day to be aware of our connection to the infinite and loving Source Energy. We are all warriors who have been injured in one way or another in life. Just like our troops, some have been on the front lines and experienced more intense wounds and some have been in 'support roles' but we are all here together with one common mission - to live freely and happily, to love wholeheartedly and to leave the world a better place than it was when we came into it.

Our nation's veterans deserve the very best care we have to offer them to heal the wounds they have borne to protect freedom. I am so grateful that there are now new treatment modalities to help veterans and caregivers which are going to make a huge difference in the way that veterans are treated for post traumatic stress disorder and the entire array of physical, emotional and spiritual wounds that affect our nation's warriors. Organizations such as the Exalted Warrior Program, The Veterans Yoga Project and all of the yoga teachers who are bringing veterans to the mat for healing. Ana Forrest and the practice of Forrest Yoga helps to heal trauma and she recently did a benefit for the Exalted Warrior Foundation. I am so grateful that as one who lives with post traumatic stress disorder, there are these wonderful, compassionate mind/body interventions which speak to healing one's life after trauma. Matthew Sanford of Mind Body Solutions offers free adaptive yoga classes to veterans and has a model of care for the caregivers. His book "Waking" speaks to trauma that gets stored in the body until we are strong enough to let our bodies speak and heal and how yoga helps one to live fully and freely within their bodies regardless of the extent of physical injury.

Today is an important day to honor those who served. Every day is an important day to honor everyone who serves in life especially ourselves. It all begins with loving kindness and compassion for ourselves so that with full hearts we can reach out with gratitude, love and compassion for all. I am so grateful and blessed to have known so many incredible men and women and their families who served our country. We are a part of each other lives' forever. We walked down a sacred path, sharing time and space and I'm forever grateful for the soul lessons I learned from them through the opportunity to serve them in the capacity of a social worker.

May everyone everywhere today be awakened and feel gratitude for the wonder and beauty and preciousness of life and that this awakening continue as we begin our day on 11/12/11.

I am so humbled by a facebook post from one of the veterans with whom I worked: "Mary thank you so much. You have no idea how much you helped me, I love you for your kindness and concern, and your sincere empathy you have for all of the veterans you helped"

From my heart to yours
With love and gratitude
Mary

Dragonfly

October 20th and 70 degrees with sunshine is a gift when you live in Boston. This morning was grey and cloudy with a chill in the air and I debated - should I exercise patience and trust in the weather forecast that a warm front is going to move through or head to the gym. I opted for the former which is truly an act of faith when you live in New England and sure enough, the sun came out and it turned into a glorious afternoon. I did my 3 mile power walk and came home.

I had two poems to create for New World Greeting Cards. Writing poetry makes my soul sing and to be able to sit outside on a glorious day and create is pure bliss. I'm writing away and I feel something on my leg - a dragonfly. I gently moved it with a piece of paper and it flew back - several times over. Since reading Ana Forrest's book, "Fierce Medicine", I knew I was supposed to pay attention so I googled the symbol of a dragonfly. After I did, she flew away and did not return.

In many cultures, the dragonfly is regarded as a symbol of light, adaptability, grace and transformation. It is no wonder that the dragonfly holds out its wings so straight and proud. Not only is it one of the most brilliant and beautiful insects, but it is also rich with meaning too!

This ability to reflect and refract light is responsible for the dragonfly's status as a "light-bearer," as well as a symbol of all the power and presence that is associated with light and love. Dragonflies remind us that we, too, are "light-bearers" and silently encourage us to let our own light shine forth. In addition, dragonflies exhibit the many colors of life. With maturity, the dragonfly's own true colors come forth, as it learns to bend, shift and adapt light in a variety of ways. These bright colors take time to develop, but are always worth the wait because they ultimately reveal the insect's deepest inner beauty. The dragonfly demonstrates the utmost adaptability and grace as well. No bird or other insect has the flight maneuverability of the dragonfly, which can quickly change directions when necessary. They are experts at going where they need to be and doing what they need to do. Traditionally, the dragonfly is the symbol of transformation and life's ever-constant process of change. Although the dragonfly spends the majority of its life on the bottom of a pond as a larva, it always rises above that. The dragonfly works its way through the weight of water and into the sunlight, gathering and garnering what it needs to change and unfold. When it is ready, it sheds its protective casing and flies away from the pond, to ultimately unite with other dragonflies, which have also completed their transformation and are even more vibrant and alive. Source: http://www.khgfoundation.org/about_foundation/meaning.php

Maturity and a Depth of character
The dragonfly, in almost every part of the world symbolizes change and change in the perspective of self realization; and the kind of change that has its source in mental and emotional maturity and the understanding of the deeper meaning of life.

The traditional association of Dragonflies with water also gives rise to this meaning to this amazing insect. The Dragonfly’s scurrying flight across water represents an act of going beyond what’s on the surface and looking into the deeper implications and aspects of life.

Power and Poise
The dragonfly’s agile flight and its ability to move in all six directions exude a sense of power and poise - something that comes only with age and maturity.
The dragonfly can move at an amazing 45 miles an hour, hover like a helicopter fly backwards like a hummingbird, fly straight up, down and on either side. What is mind blowing is the fact that it can do this while flapping its wings a mere 30 times a minute while mosquitoes and houseflies need to flap their wings 600 and 1000 times a minute respectively.

The awe inspiring aspect is how the dragonfly accomplishes its objectives with utmost simplicity, effectiveness and well, if you look at proportions, with 20 times as much power in each of its wing strokes when compared to the other insects. The best part is that the dragonfly does it with elegance and grace that can be compared to a veteran ballet dancer. If this is not a brazen, lazy, overkill in terms of display of raw power, what is?

Defeat of Self Created Illusions
The dragonfly exhibits iridescence both on its wings as well as on its body. Iridescence is the property of an object to show itself in different colors depending on the angle and polarization of light falling on it.

This property is seen and believed as the end of one’s self created illusions and a clear vision into the realities of life. The magical property of iridescence is also associated with the discovery of one’s own abilities by unmasking the real self and removing the doubts one casts on his/her own sense of identity. This again indirectly means self discovery and removal of inhibitions.

Focus on living ‘IN’ the moment
The dragonfly normally lives most of its life as a nymph or an immature. It flies only for a fraction of its life and usually not more than a few months. This adult dragonfly does it all in these few months and leaves nothing to be desired. This style of life symbolizes and exemplifies the virtue of living IN the moment and living life to the fullest. By living in the moment you are aware of who you are, where you are, what you are doing, what you want, what you don’t and make informed choices on a moment-to-moment basis.

This ability lets you live your life without regrets like the great dragonfly.

The opening of one’s eyes
The eyes of the dragonfly are one of the most amazing and awe inspiring sights. Given almost 80% of the insect’s brain power is dedicated to its sight and the fact that it can see in all 360 degrees around it, it symbolizes the uninhibited vision of the mind and the ability to see beyond the limitations of the human self. It also in a manner of speaking symbolizes a man/woman’s rising from materialism to be able to see beyond the mundane into the vastness that is really our Universe, and our own minds. - Source: http://www.dragonfly-site.com/meaning-symbolize.html

Sometimes the Universe leaves me speechless.

From my heart to yours
With love and gratitude
Mary

Transformation

One - well actually two pictures - is worth a thousand words! The first photo was taken in May of 2008 for an article in the Brookline Tab when I first started training for the Boston Marathon. The second photo from this past Sunday's Brookline Symphony Orchestra 5K. Amazing just amazing!






I am so grateful to Tom and his unending support as I sought out different paths for healing and to everyone who has been so loving and supportive as I leave the past behind to step into the Truth of my Being.

From my heart to yours with Love and Gratitude
Namaste
Mary

Running Love

I have come to realize that I was like the blind men and the elephant during this period of reinvention in my life. I would only see a part of the beautiful tapestry of my life. I denied my social work career because now I'm a poet. When I stopped running, I stopped embracing and appreciating the beautiful amazing accomplishment of having run the 2009 Boston Marathon. I focused on being a polio survivor and went on a mission to end polio now while walling off the part of myself who experienced severe, multiple childhood trauma. But now everything is coming together and because I am appreciating all of my life experiences, I am having experiences which honor all of me.

My friend Justin Berke invites me to every local event on Facebook. The Brookline Symphony Orchestra Fun Run looked like a lot of fun. Twice around the Cleveland Circle Reservoir where I run all the time with live, classical music playing and to benefit our local symphony orchestra -- sounds perfect. Sign us up. And then one day on Facebook I received a post from Greg Gordon who was part of the 2009 Boston Marathon Race for Rehab team of which Tom and I were a part saying that he was the race organizer. He doesn't live in Brookline but is good friends with the director of the Symphony. What are the chances right?

I knew I belonged at this run. When we arrived to register, Greg came up from behind me and gave me a wonderful warm hug. Then I spotted "TK" - and yelled "TK". Greg and TK are bff's. I said that TK is a celebrity and I could hear Greg telling me telepathically please don't encourage him. During our Boston Marathon training, TK would photo shop different celebrities supporting his run and fancied himself a celebrity. TK was wearing bib #1 and I had #13. I asked Greg what was up with that and we all laughed. And then Greg spotted a hawk in the tree just above where we were standing. I google'd the significance of seeing a hawk: "The hawk is a messenger of insight, adaptability and openness. Hawk people aim to initiate and lead, and may be impulsive from time to time. They want to establish individuality while still being accepted by the group." We snapped photos and it was so wonderful to reunite with my former team mates. I could tell the feeling was mutual. Greg has run so many Boston Marathons but he was wearing his 2009 shirt. He said of course he had to wear it today. We could feel the presence of our beloved coach and trainer Domenick D'Amico who moved to Colorado and said we would have to send him the photo of our reunited team.






This is the first athletic endeavour (be it yoga or running) that I did not experience butterflies before the event. Perhaps it was because it was on familiar turf (I have run that Cleveland Circle Reservoir hundreds of times). Perhaps it was because I had no expectations and was going to see how my body felt during the race or maybe, just maybe I am beginning to feel a sense of confidence in my body.

As I have mentioned in previous blog posts, I have chosen to power walk instead of run for my cardio workouts and I'm able to get my heart rate up and do a 15 minute mile pace thank you very much. I felt as though I was beating myself up by running especially in my knee joints. But today I felt the desire to get out and run. I'm so glad I did. I had no pain in my knee joints. I felt the strength in my quads and I felt like a strong stallion.Greg said to me before we set out, "Run like the wind" and I did. I was able to tolerate an average heart rate of 157 with a peak of 172 (my peak heart rate for a woman my age is 140). Regardless of the numbers (and the official time has me a little over a 15 minute mile pace-my time has me a little under) I want to focus on how I felt during the run. I felt happiness.

As Tom and I came round the first loop, Greg asked the crowd gathered to watch the race to give us a big hand and when we came into the finish, I broke into a sprint. Greg played it for all it was worth and called it as though we were two elite runners fighting for the finish. We left after our "work was done" to head on over to the Columbia Yacht Club for the annual L Street Running Club BBQ.

My heart was already overflowing with running love. The sun was warming up the day by the minute and by the time we arrived at the Columbia Yacht Club we could sit on the deck enjoying the spectacular view and the wonderful spread of food.



Tom says I was greeted like a celebrity. I blush and feel very humbled by the reception I received from L Street members who were there during my last two inspirational talks at L Street. One woman told me that I inspired her to run her first 5K which she is running in two weeks. We were sitting with another man talking for about an hour and then we made the connection that he reached out to me asking to talk with his wife who was experiencing chronic pain and not getting any relief from the Western medical community. I talked with her about exploring "alternative therapies". She is undergoing acupuncture treatments and getting relief from her pain. Another member came up to me, introduced himself and told me he just had to let me know how inspirational I am. Still another came up to me who I met at the Jim Kane Bowl Run who had told me when he google'd channel 7 looking for a story, my news story came up high in the rankings and he told me he loved the feature.

I drank in the view of the water, ate more than my fair share of amazing bbq chicken, fruit, veggies, potato salad and something I have not had in an age a cupcake with chocolate frosting. I sat and listened as fellow club members regaled stories of marathons past, hopes and dreams for marathons future and felt so comfortable among the community of runners. I no longer felt as though I did not belong there or I was less than because I was once and done with the Boston Marathon or that more often than not I power walk. The motto for the L Street Running Club is "No distance too short, no pace too slow". My heart is open and because I am feeling comfortable within myself, feelings of competition, jealousy that others are still running marathons and all those other emotions that keep me enslaved to the past are released, I can truly enjoy myself. I am so blessed and grateful that today was a day overflowing with love from the beautiful running community and at last I can truly embrace all of me!

With so much joy
From my heart to yours
With love and gratitude,
Mary