44 Days Until Boston

From my soon to be released memoir, "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility":

We woke up early on April 15, 2013. You would have thought we were running the Boston Marathon again. Tom and I had a ‘perfect’ morning together enjoying the coverage on WBZ TV and leisurely making our way to the Mandarin Oriental Hotel for a reunion with some of our Race for Rehab team members. Although I grew up in New York, I called Boston home since 1971 when I began my freshman year at Boston University. Following numerous orthopedic surgeries when I hobbled around on crutches, I would often joke, “No I’m not going to run the marathon this year, maybe next year.” Be careful what you say out loud to the Universe.

Through the years, Tom and I would stand on Hearbreak Hill cheering runners and we knew about the Boston Marathon legends. Did I ever in my wildest imaginings believe that one day I would cross the finish line of the Boston Marathon and at the age of 55 years old? I think not but on April 20, 2009, I did just that as a mobility impaired runner.





After my nephew's suicide in March of 2011 and Tom's 2011 Boston Marathon run, I distanced myself from the running community. I did not feel well enough to run again and I thought my running days were over. We watched the 2012 Marathon from Cleveland Circle in the searing heat waiting for friends but I had lost my emotional connection to the race and to the part of myself that ran Boston. It was a metaphor for what was happening inside of me as the years of unrelenting trauma and residuals from paralytic polio were taking a toll.

But last year I was ready to rejoin my Race for Rehab teammates at the Mandarin Oriental last year.

The fabric of the running community has never been stronger. I am blessed to be a part of the Spaulding Rehab "family" and to call myself a Race for Rehab alumni.

Last night I attended the Feeney Sisters Run Boston Fundraiser at Doyle's in Jamaica Plain. I 'met' Margo and Julie through the Race for Rehab team on Facebook and when I saw their fund raising page, I just knew Tom and I were meant to be at their fund raiser. They really do put the fun in fun(d) raiser. They had a Heartbreak Hill pinata and this beautiful cake:



They asked me if I would say a few words about what Spaulding has meant to me. As I shared how 7 years ago I was in a wheelchair, and went on to run Boston for Spaulding in 2009, I could see one woman's jaw literally drop open. She also held onto her partner standing next to her as I shared the "twitter version" of my journey. I shared how I did not have another marathon in me and I am so grateful to the Feeney Sisters for running Boston this year. I said that we would be there to welcome them back to the Mandarin after they cross the finish line. I also gave them a tip of the hat for training through this grueling cold New England winter.

Ever since I came to Boston in 1971, the Boston Marathon has, in one way or another, been a huge part of my life but has never been more a part of my life than this past year. In reading Bill Rodgers book, "Marathon Man"



I have an even deeper appreciation and understanding of the history of the Boston Marathon.

There is a sense of anticipation, nervousness, excitement, fierce determination and a community filled with love as we countdown the days to Boston. The sun is getting warmer, The days have more daylight. The birds are singing louder and stronger. The runs are getting longer for those training and I delight in being support crew. A little over a month until the anniversary of 4/15/13 but only 44 days to go until we take back this City and show how we ARE Boston Strong!

105 Days To Go...

until 4/21/2014 when many of my dear friends are going to be taking their places at the starting line of what is sure to be a very emotional Boston Marathon.

As I write in my memoir, "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility,"

"4/12/13
Off to have lunch with Ernst van Dyk at an event organized by Spaulding Rehab, and refresh my Boston Marathon run memories that I had once denied. After I read Matthew Sanford’s book, “Waking”, I somehow got the idea in my head that I needed to deny ever having run the Boston Marathon. I felt embarrassed and uncomfortable after reading Matthew’s book which of course was not his intention but my interpretation of how he talked about not having to do something spectacular like running a marathon when you live with a spinal cord injury. "

Four years after crossing the finish line of the Boston Marathon, I knew it was time to celebrate with the Race for Rehab team at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel. As I have repeatedly said, we were so fortunate to not have witnessed the carnage first hand and to have gotten out safely and yet our lives were forever changed on that day.

I feel a strong bond with my friends old and new who are running this year. Tom and I are donating to charities that our friends are running for and I am helping Karis and Greg with their fund raising efforts by helping them to organize fund raisers which will not only raise money but bring the community together. They are running as part of Spaulding's Race for Rehab team this year. We were in the Mandarin together and together we are going to raise some serious money for Spaulding where many of the survivors found their strength and a way to put their lives back together after Marathon Monday.

Tom and I have renewed our membership with L Street Running Club and signed up to volunteer at water stops during long runs. We have signed up with the BAA to volunteer for packet stuffing.

105 days until the Boston Marathon...there's a lot of work to do for runners who will be running long and are Boston Strong. There's a lot of work for fund raising, community building and being a part of support crews as we continue to move forward and heal.

Here's to getting to the starting line healthy....


Ode to Marathon Training - March 22, 2009 from A Celebration of Life available on Amazon
Blisters, black toes, aches and pains, a change in my routine
Long training runs, the hills, the sprints,
running clothes fresh and clean.
Carbo load and plan each meal power gels and gatorade
no matter what the weather no time to be afraid.
Humid - hot or freezing cold snow against the face
wind or sun or raining those running shoes I must lace.
What mile is this how long we been out
check heart rate drink H20
meltdowns joys and triumphs only a few more weeks to go.
Heartbreak Hill won't break my heart this year has been the best
found myself and made new friends I feel incredibly blessed.

The BAA 10K - I Almost Didn't Go - Run Boston Strong

As I went to bed Saturday, I had this feeling come over me that I just couldn't stand at the finish line waiting for Tom and Ruth Anne to run the 3rd annual BAA 10K. I had done the #onerun after letting Tom know that I was afraid to do it and he said that's why we must but this felt different. I wouldn't be moving. I would be waiting for them at the finish line.

Tom and Ruth Anne were wonderful - so loving and supportive and they said it was no big deal. They would run it together. I had this feeling of fear in the pit of my stomach that just wouldn't quit so I meditated and sent out love and light and safety to all who were running. I remembered Tom Myers reminding us that courage is when you feel afraid and do it anyway but in my gut I just couldn't imagine myself at the finish line of the first BAA event since the Boston Marathon bombings.

I woke up at 4 am to the sound of the birds. I felt tired and said to myself that I needed to sleep in and rest and I'd meet up with them after they ran the race but at 6:11, I woke up wide awake. I asked them what time they were leaving. I left the house a mess - beds unmade, dishes in the sink and stuff everywhere. I had never gone out the door in 30 minutes in my life. I had breakfast, ran a comb through my hair, brushed my teeth and made sure everyone had everything they needed throwing it into a little running backpack.

We parked in Copley Square unsure of the street closures. Ruth Anne had a chance to visit the Memorial which she hadn't seen before and we had time to talk about Marathon Monday. We got to the start of the race

and I set up "camp". Tom and Ruth Anne went to get their shirts and explore the festivities/activities on the Common. I was feeling a little nervous that there wasn't a strong security presence at the start/finish line. I remembered at the #onerun there were bomb sniffing dogs. But this time, there were comfort dogs on the Common.

I took a few photos of the start and to see a really great photo of Tom and Ruth Anne at the start, visit boston.com....



There was a beautiful opening ceremony acknowledging and honoring the events of Marathon Monday with an emphasis on Boston Stands As One and Boston Strong. When I was waiting for Tom during the 2011 Boston Marathon and during the first two BAA 10K's, I enjoyed listening to the distinctive voice of the BAA Announcer, Tom Grilk. He is always entertaining filled with fun facts and giving us updates from "the field" of who is in the lead and whether or not it is a close race.

He was a man of grace yesterday talking about Boston Strong. He announced several times that there were people from the Public Health Commission from the City of Boston on the Common along with the comfort dogs. He encouraged anyone who feels they would like to talk with someone to do so or just sit and be with the comfort dogs. He shared with the spectators that he was helped tremendously by counseling. He was at the finish line and witnessed the scene of Marathon Monday but rather than focusing on the carnage and devastation, he talked about resiliency. He played Kelly Clarkson's song "What Doesn't Kill You" and the song Run Boston Strong posted above emphasizing the theme of strength in the City and strength as individuals. He also played Martha and the Vandellas Heat Wave and a variety of uplifting and inspiring songs. He commented as the runners waited their turn in the wave starts, that we ARE Boston strong going out and doing what we always do not letting anyone stop us.

I almost let fear stop me but in the end, I joined my heart and my presence as a spectator with thousands of runners who ran Boston Strong in the 3rd BAA 10K and was there to see Tom and Ruth Anne cross the finish line!

Stronger Than Fear from Songs of Freedom:Poems From a Healing Odyssey Volume II:Seasons of the Soul available on Amazon along with Volume I:Elements of Healing

Happiness and freedom
mine to claim or throw away….

People that surround
try to shake me off center
robbing me of happiness and freedom
but only I am the thief.

Basic human rights violated
yet I am stronger than my fear
strong enough to finally feel
memories well up within me
no longer clutching
preying on me
I become the predator of the past.

Feet firmly grounded
energy rising from sacred ground
Divine love and goodness course through me
innocence of a newborn baby
love and trust pulse through me
returning me to a time and place
of Oneness with all that is.

Release
let go
their venom poisoned me against myself
I am stronger than my fear
I forgive
love and compassion
healing balm
soothes and comforts

knits together what was once torn asunder
by unknowing slumbering souls.

From my heart to yours
With total love and deepest gratitude,
Mary

MAY ALL BEINGS BE HAPPY AND FREE!

Beauty Moments In The Back Bay - The Beauty of Spontaneity

Two years ago I read Ana Forrest's book, "Fierce Medicine." In her book she talks about the importance of sharing beauty moments especially in the midst of challenging times. After taking her Master Class, I was blessed to meet Ana, share with her how her book changed my life and in my book she wrote:
"Dear Mary, Breathe your exquisite spirit into every cell. Daily. Walk in Beauty, Ana T Forrest".

Tom and I hadn't been out to dinner in a long time. I called him at work yesterday and suggested a date night. Our go to place is Thaitation in the Fenway area. While driving in town to meet him, I realized there was a Red Sox game. We needed to come up with a plan B. I suggested we go somewhere in the Back Bay to support the restaurants that continue to recover from the Boston Marathon bombings when the area around Copley Square was shut down for a couple of weeks. As we were driving down Arlington Street, I said should I take a right here? Tom said sure why not. There in front of us on St. James Street just behind Copley Square was a handicapped parking space just waiting for us. Parking after 5 pm in the Back Bay is at a premium but there it was.

We had no plans - didn't know where we were going to eat and decided to just see where we ended up. A half a block later we first saw a sign for Skipjack's Restaurant.



We used to patronize the Skipjack's in Brookline Village and then in Newton but they closed. We wondered if they were open and as we approached Clarendon Street we saw their outdoor dining patio.



It was windy but we opted for outdoor seating nestled underneath Trinity Church, the Hancock Building and the Prudential building in the distance.



We were so excited and joyful that we shared our story with our waiter of how we just happened upon Skipjacks on Clarendon Street. He was a waiter in the Newton restaurant before it closed and the manager used to be the manager in Newton. Underneath a cloudless sky with the warm sunshine caressing us, Tom and I enjoyed our delicious meal. The manager came out and we instantly recognized each other. He told us that our waiter told him the story of how we just happened to find our way to the restaurant. We didn't speak directly of the events of Marathon Monday but there was a sense of relief and healing in what was unspoken and the joy of reconnection. As a by the way, the manager told us that they offer two hours of free parking in the garage on Clarendon Street after 5 pm.

As a trauma survivor, I could not allow myself to be spontaneous. Everything needed to be planned out and controlled but of course that was an illusion of control. As I have learned over and over again in my life, things happen over which I have absolutely no control. But in the midst of it all, on a beautiful June evening in Boston's Back Bay, I was blessed to experience beauty moments and the beauty of spontaneity. There is beauty to behold when you let the wind and Spirit guide you to the spot where you need to be.

The Gold Standard from Songs of Freedom:Poems From a Healing Odyssey Volume II:Seasons of the Soul now available on Amazon

How do you measure Beauty
the gold standard not found on the cover of magazines or billboards
beauty and grace emerge out of the crucible
the heart of a warrior tested
tempered in the fires of hell
radiant beauty reflecting confidence and strength
triumphant courage
passionate Spirit
Shine On!

From my heart to yours
With total love and deepest gratitude,
Mary

MAY ALL BEINGS HAPPY AND FREE!