On Miracles and Hope

When I set out 7 and a half years ago to heal my life after receiving the diagnosis of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease, I had no idea what that meant. Somewhere deep inside of me I had a feeling of hope; hope that if I did not have much time left, I could have a good quality of life with the time I had left to live. I felt hope that there would come a day when I would not be suffering as much as I was when I barely walked into Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital's International Rehab Center for Polio in October of 2006.

I believed in miracles. I read Bernie Siegel's book, "Love, Medicine and Miracles" in the 1980's. I knew what was possible but I knew that my only hope for healing was to begin to experience love and compassion for myself.

Throughout my healing odyssey, I have had to hold onto hope regardless of what physical condition I was in at the time. It was wonderful to feel great when I was crushing PR after PR but then came the crash after my nephew's suicide in March 2011. Oh how I wish he wouldn't have given up before the miracle happened in his life but I know and trust he is at peace.

My life - your life is a miracle. Just take a moment to realize that from two tiny microscopic cells, you are here - now - reading this. Isn't that a miracle? The breeze. The birds singing. The flowers that are so magnificent in Spring and summer in New England. Even the miracle of the leaves changing and falling off the leaves knowing when it's time to let go.

It's a miracle that I walked after contracting paralytic polio and that I walked away from the violence in my childhood. What a miracle that we were spared so much and able to safely evacuate on Marathon Monday 4/15/13. I walked away from treatment modalities and practices that did not serve me but I did not quit before the miracle happened. I'm so glad I didn't give up trusting in the goodness of others and the good intentions of others and found my way to Sollievo Massage and Bodywork which is now an integral part of my healing journey.

Despite how I am feeling in the morning, I can experience the miracle of meditation to experience peace and acceptance with what is while riding the waves of whatever I am feeling at the time. If I am having a challenging day of fatigue and pain, I feel hopeful that with rest, I will recover to run another day. If I need treatment, I am blessed with the best that Ancient and Modern traditions have to offer me.

It's a miracle that I am running again and training for the Tufts 2014 10K.

I have several friends who are living with MS and cancer. With love, support and hope and a fierce passion for living the best life they can despite what shape their physical form is in, they are thriving and have experienced a miracle of healing. Sometimes the miracle of healing is being able to make it through those times of profound uncertainty and not quitting before the miracle, whatever shape it takes, happens.

Do you live as though everything is a miracle? I do. I don't know how to live any other way.


My memoir, "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.

"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

The Power of Imagination - Training for the Harvard Pilgrim 10K

This morning during my morning meditation imagination and freedom kept floating in and out of my heart. There is so much freedom and joy in imagination - in anticipation and we can harness that power to either imagine the worst or imagine the best. My husband often teases me that for somebody who believes in positivity, I can really imagine the worst but it's a habit that I am changing. As my friend and fellow author Karen Linamen says, "only nuns change their habits over night." But I digress....

There are many wonderful quotes about imagination-here are a few of my favs:

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.” - Albert Einstein

"Apathy can be overcome by enthusiasm, and enthusiasm can only be aroused by two things: first, an ideal, with takes the imagination by storm, and second, a definite intelligible plan for carrying that ideal into practice." Albert Toynbee

"Imagination disposes of everything; it creates beauty, justice, and happiness, which are everything in this world."-Blaise Pascal

"Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere."-Carl Sagan

"Nothing happens unless first we dream."-Carl Sandburg

As I'm training for the Harvard Pilgrim 10K, I imagine myself running out onto the field of Gillette Stadium. Now some of you may be thinking - what's the big deal about a 10K...didn't she run the Boston Marathon in 2009. Well running any distance is still a big deal for me. Last August, I hit a wall and did not know whether or not I would run again. I was experiencing a lot of pain from cervical spine disease along with fatigue and weakness. Pain and post polio will leave you feeling exhausted and weak. But thanks to my master magician, Dr El Abd (God's hands and heart on earth) and the team at the Newton Wellesley Hospital Spine Center, I was prescribed a whole new health and fitness regimen. I used the winter months to improve cardiovascular conditioning and we revamped my entire upper and lower body strength training regimen to accommodate the cervical spine disease. I had a few trial runs last fall and then this Spring - just like the leaves return to the trees, I am able to run again. I have relinquished my desire to do long distance running - ha for many a 10K race is long distance running so it's all about perspective. I am so grateful that I can feel free and run.

I can let my imagination return to the days when I was taunted and teased and called easy out - when running to first base took tremendous effort if I even kicked the ball in kick ball or I can smile, straighten my pose and imagine myself as I run onto the field at Gillette Stadium. While no moment can ever compare to crossing the finish line of the 113th Boston Marathon, running onto the field at Gillette will be up there in wonderful moments.

Last weekend, my husband and I trained for the run at Castle Island. I've been doing intervals on the recumbent bike and either one 45 minute run or 45 minute bike ride during the week. I do strength training 3 times a week. I decided to try a little trick on Saturday -- although time does not matter at the Harvard Pilgrim 10K (the race director told me he would love to have me at the race and I can start with the 15-20 minute walkers), I wanted to imagine myself running a 15 minute mile. This was our first 4.8 mile run since I'm back to running. My husband set the pace and I kept up with him. During the run I did not look at my watch but did keep an eye on my heart rate which told me we were going at a really good clip. When we were finished, sure enough, we did just a little bit over a 15 minute mile! This was two minutes/mile off of our time a month ago. I knew that I'd been training and knew I was ready to see if I could increase our pace -- but I set the pace IN MY MIND!

So my dear readers - let your imaginations run wild, set your heart free, live from you heart and let your heart prompt your mind and Spirit to soar -- you never know where it might take you --

If you would like to let your imagination Set Sail for a New World and enter a New World purchase my books of Inspirational Poetry. 20% of book proceeds are donated to causes near and dear to my heart - Hope Charitable Trust and The Salk Institute for Biological Studies.

Spring and summer bring not only a blossoming of trees and flowers but so many wonderful celebrations - Mothers Day, Fathers Day, graduations, weddings, anniversaries -- why not let New World Greeting Cards express your sentiments to commemorate and celebrate these special occasions?

God bless, be well and dream big!
Thanks for reading.
With love,
Mary

Sailing Free

During this morning's meditation, I felt deep gratitude for the gift of freedom in my life. Freedom is a state of mind. At the tender age of 5 years old, freedom and the ability to trust my body was shaken to the core as I dropped to the ground from paralytic polio. Although I was paralyzed, I had a vision of a healing Being -- I was free to step into a well bucket and was reeled up to meet this Being. I knew that no matter the life challenge, I was being protected, guarded and guided. Victor Frankl, author of Man's Search for Meaning talks about how, when he was in the concentration camp during World War II, although all of his freedoms were stripped away, he always had the freedom to choose how he was going to perceive his situation.

When I worked as a social worker at the VA, I was blessed to meet the courageous men and women who served our country. The POW's and I had a special connection. Although I was not captured during the war, I did have to surrender my physical freedom many times during my younger years. As my regular readers know, my father fell into alcoholism when I was 8 years old - just 3 years after contracting polio. He turned to me in his drunken hours for physical comfort and sexually abused me; and then would turn to beating me. During the summer of 1971, I was held captive by my father's drunken rages. My parents were separated and he moved in with my grandparents in the Bronx. We never knew when he would show up at our door step threatening to kill us. My mother, God rest her soul was so numb from prescription pain killers that she did not have the where with all to protect us. He ended up taking his own life on August 1, 1971. He could not find a way to be free and be in his physical body; his mind was filled with torment.

Although I was physically liberated on the day I learned of his death, it took years for me to find emotional freedom and with it peace and healing. But here I sit today with the gift of a new day. A blank page on which I get to write the script of my life. My thoughts this morning were initially focused on anticipating problems -- why hadn't my book order arrived? did my publisher make the corrections? am I really experiencing financial freedom or is disaster looming around the corner? (I had to declare bankruptcy after my father's death on behalf of my parents - it was a mess but God is always in the messes) am I physically whole or am I going to experience deterioration with symptoms of post polio syndrome? And then the word freedom floated into my heart and I realized I have the freedom to choose my beliefs.I hugged the beautiful child within who is trying to protect me by being prepared for the worst at all times. I told her I loved her and I told her together we would turn to God for Love, Light and Truth.

I choose to believe that past experiences are not the truth of my life. I choose to believe that I am healthy and whole and that I can manage the symptoms of post polio syndrome. I choose to believe that I am enough and I always have enough (to quote Terry Cole Whittaker in Follow Your Bliss). I choose to believe that, to quote Albert Einstein, the Universe is indeed a most wonderfully friendly place despite or maybe because of everything that has happened before. I choose to cry tears of joy and gratitude and relief that I am free - free to choose happiness, free to choose what is true for my life's path; I choose to love me and to quote Terry Cole Whittaker again, what anyone else thinks of me is none of my business. I am free to be courageous to live my path, fulfill my destiny and live my life with passion and purpose feeling overwhelming gratitude that I am free! I choose to believe that with God all things are possible.

I express freedom in the gift of poetry I discovered after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome. Although my body was shut down, my Spirit flew free and wrote poems of gratitude, healing, joy and love. Come with me on my healing journey through my books of inspirational poetry: "New World Greetings:Inspirational Poetry and Musings for a New World" and "Set Sail for a New World:Healing a Life Through the Gift of Poetry". 20% of book proceeds are donated to Hope Charitable Trust
and The Salk Institute for Biological Studies.

Why settle for a greeting card that comes close to what you want to say. At New World Greeting Cards, we create original poetry which starts with YOU!

What kind of a day will you create today? I hope it is one overflowing with freedom, joy, happiness and peace and that you go forth and be the change you want to see in the world.

Thank you for reading.

With love,
Mary