Saturday, June 27, 2009

Denial is not just a River in Egypt

I decided that it's time to acknowledge how beat up my body was through marathon training and running the Boston Marathon and to take some time to heal and recover. I will not bore you with the list of tender areas of my body nor the sense of fatigue that I experience as I ponder going out for another intensive training run. Instead, I will share with you the importance of honoring my body not just as a polio/post polio survivor but as a woman who is learning to connect and love her body in a whole new way.

I am overjoyed that I was able to overcome the symptoms of post polio syndrome to embark on an incredible journey on the road to the Boston Marathon. It truly was about the journey, not the destination although I will admit -- what a beautiful sight coming down Boylston Street with the floodlights looming in the distance and putting one foot in front of the other to inch ever closer to the finish line. What a blessing to have my beloved family surround me along with my personal trainer, Janine Hightower. Just as I learned to push my body beyond its limits during marathon training, I am now learning to acknowledge what I need to do to create a balanced health and fitness program. Once again I am embarking in new territory and am so blessed to have the guidance of Janine Hightower of

Janine reminded me that after I crossed the finish line, I revealed to her all the pain I endured during marathon training as well as areas that were injured. She continues to remind me that she is amazed that I never shared anything with her of what I was going through. We both agreed I was not going to stop any way and I needed to keep those thoughts and feelings at bay to accomplish what I was called to do. But now, I no longer need to deny and worked with Janine to design a program which will enable me to achieve cardiovascular and strength training benefits without burning out and allowing my body to heal.

I don't know what the future holds in terms of returning to running and road races; I do know that my future holds a health and fitness program and a lifestyle which will prevent further disability from post polio syndrome. I do know that I will continue to be a part of the running community. The future holds a time for healing and strengthening and for now I am getting reacquainted with my body. I am so blessed and overjoyed with this body and I am falling in love with my body all over again. The present holds peace, joy, happiness, gratitude, feeling incredibly blessed with the knowledge that I can let go of denial because denial is not just a river in Egypt.

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