Thursday, November 1, 2012

Through the Lens of Grace - It's Gonna Turn Out Fine

...only rainbows after's hard to remember's gonna turn out fine

"The grace of God is coming down all the time, like rain, but we forget to cup our hands." - from "Learning to Breathe:My Yearlong Quest to Bring Calm To My Life"

During a morning meditation I was reflecting on my life. On 11/6th, I will be the guest on Bernie Siegel's radio show, Mind Health Matters. I looked back on how I came to know Bernie and his work. What came to light is how blessed I am to be able to experience everything that has happened to me through the lens of grace. It wasn't always easy to have this perspective and know and trust that everything was gonna turn out fine but there is really no other way to live. When we live in the present moment, everything IS fine.

In 1982 I was hospitalized with a serious staph infection which temporarily left me without the use of my right arm.

The first touch of grace I experienced in this scenario was with an orthopedic surgeon who has been an angel in my life several times over. Dr. Reilly just happened to walk onto the medical floor I was on as I was talking a walk around trying to keep myself together with what was happening to me. He asked me what the xrays were showing. I told him none had been taken. It was like a scene out of Grey's Anatomy. He grabbed my chart, ordered xrays and by the afternoon I was in the OR having an operation to save the use of my right arm.

During my hospitalization my primary nurse, Beth Jordan, brought me a cassette tape - yes a cassette tape of Bernie Siegel

for a tape player.

She brought me trail mix. She told me my life needed healing. We stayed in touch with each other for many years after my hospitalization until she moved to Maine to care for her elderly parents. I carry her with me in my heart feeling her love and the touch of grace she imprinted on my heart. She lived on Lily Pond Lane where water lilies floated serenely on the surface of the pond where we went canoeing together.

After hearing Bernie's talk and reading his book, "Love, Medicine and Miracles"

my husband and I went to hear him and his wife Bobbie speak at Harvard. It was a life changing experience. As so often happens, we lose traction of the practices we need in order to maintain a healthy, balanced life for mind, body and Spirit.

After I was diagnosed with post polio syndrome back in 2006, I reconnected with Bernie. I joined his Forum. I went to hear him speak and he became what he calls, my chosen dad or CD for short. He was an incredible cheerleader of mine during my Boston Marathon experience and somehow I ended up being interviewed on his radio show, Mind Health Matters last May. You can listen to the archive of the show, Life and Poetry.

Yes my life has been very challenging but through every challenge, through every moment of hell, there always was and always will be my ability to choose the perspective of seeing it all through the lens of grace.

The Present - from "Songs of Freedom:Poems From a Healing Odyssey" now available on Amazon

What glasses am I wearing?
Am I seeing through the prism of the past
tainted by others

What glasses am I wearing?
I tremble in your presence
feeling Divine Love
afraid to trust its pure intention

What glasses am I wearing?
I see the truth
of my own Divinity
a birthright to be happy and free
being as I am truly meant to be

What glasses am I wearing?
I see the beauty, the grace
allowing peace in this moment
shaking off all that went before
allowing the butterfly to fly free

Embody my Being
offering the gift of myself to the world.

From my heart to yours
With total love and deepest gratitude
Yours in grace,


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