Called one of the lucky ones...Feeling Fortunate

In, 'Running the Race,' the first poem I wrote back in February 2007 after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease, I wrote:

Called one of the 'lucky ones' I had a 'mild case'
but with the other athletes I could never keep their pace.


I was unable to leave the house for a few months, but when the physical therapist from the March of Dimes came to my house to do an assessment, she told my mother, "She's one of the lucky ones." There were children and adults in iron lungs unable to move or breathe. There were many who died. While initially I experienced paralysis from the neck down, movement on my right side returned within a week or two.

And despite the abandonment, neglect and violence that ensued, in my heart I feel blessed and fortunate.

I know that I continue to heal and build strength. I know that I have the strength to work with whatever challenges may present themselves in my life. I am incredibly fortunate to have Aquatics Therapy at Spaulding Rehab Hospital and go for weekly treatments at Sollievo Massage and Bodywork. When I told my husband and daughter that I needed them to do chores in order for me to continue to heal, have the energy to run and enjoy my life, and stem the tide of the progression of the late effects of paralytic polio, they stepped up to the plate.

I'm taking a moment to pause today to realize how fortunate I am to feel as well as I do and to live the life I am living. I AM one of the lucky ones and so blessed to have experienced what it's like to run free in yesterday's training run. Blessed with abundance which for me means having enough right now in this moment. Blessed with a 37 year relationship with my husband and surrounded by my running family. Blessed to have all my limbs, my sight, my hearing and blessed because I feel fortunate and take nothing for granted knowing how life can change on a dime.

All we have is right now - this moment and I am embracing my good fortune to be here now.

Be Here Now April 2014

Be here now and celebrate
no longer the victim
a survivor and thriver
filled with beauty
a life once torn and shattered
now a beautiful tapestry
woven together
no more rough edges
open heart
a voice that sings with strains of poetry
life no longer a strain or struggle
a new refrain
as energy flows
the river of life marks a new path
yet all is fleeting
not meant to be captured
but experienced
moments
shared in awe
wonder and mystery
comfort in this gift of presence
trusting all is well.



My memoir, "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.

"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

Training for the Tufts 10K

I am over the moon excited that I have worked my way back to the 10K distance. 6.1 miles. I do love going the distance.

It's been four years since I last ran Tufts. Tufts was my first 10K ever in the fall of 2008. In 2009, I was recovering from my Boston Marathon run. I was working with a wonderful physical therapist at the time who told me that if I had any hopes of getting back to running, I had to take a hiatus and allow my body time to recover and heal. We didn't know if I would be able to run again.

As I stood at the finish line of the 2009 Tufts 10K waiting for my daughter to cross the finish line, I heard the announcer say, "And don't let anybody ever tell you you can't do something. All these women crossing the finish line today started strong and are finishing stronger."

That's all it took to light the fire within me to do everything I could to get back on the roads. I began running in the Spring of 2010 and worked my way back to a 10K distance. I still had my base from marathon training.

Here I am before running the 2010 Tufts 10K wearing a Superman dog tag from the Christopher Reeve Foundation that says, "Go Forward."



In March of 2011, my nephew's suicide pulled the rug right out from under me. I experienced a relapse of symptoms and took a detour on my healing path. It took the events of 4/15/13 to awaken me to what was truly important in my life for well being of mind, body and Spirit.

It's been a year of healing, of building strength, of building endurance. Now I am in full on training mode but the beauty is my only goal is to cross that finish line with a smile. I am blessed that I will have my daughter by my side. Me being me, I will work on my speed in my weekly and occasional biweekly 3.1 runs but as I have been saying of late, I am running from the inside out.

The journey of transformation is never easy. It requires hard work. Trust. Patience. Faith.



When we are able to heal and let go of what weighs us down; when we are able to remember our strength and our beauty regardless of what happened to us during the journey; when we are able to find the courage to accept the darkness and abide in the pain, then we are able to fly free once more.

The Chrysalis May 2014

Trembling with excitement
shaking it off
allow yourself to be with a capital B

Being who you were always meant to be
unencumbered

yet time well spent
on tiny legs
grounded to earth’s energy
garnering wisdom along the way

gathering together
possibility

a time of uncertainty
certain
this is the path
abide in darkness
surrender

lose grip on grasping
turning inward
discovering beauty
strength
free now
to
fly


My memoir, "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.

"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

The Grace in the Running Community

After contracting paralytic polio at the age of 5, I was in a full leg brace. Definitely one of the lucky ones to not be in an iron lung and to be able to walk again, I struggled to physically keep up with my brother and my friends. Kids being kids, they'd take off and leave me in the dust while I lugged my leg brace along as best I could. This was the fuel for my Type A, overachieving, relying solely on my intellect personality until I hit the wall in my life in the summer of 2006.

Back into a leg brace, using a wheelchair at times for mobility and facing a grim future, the first poem I wrote, Running the Race, in the dark night of my soul in February 2007 used the metaphor of running. I had never run a day in my life and never owned a pair of running shoes. Something in my soul drew me to running. What a treasure I found in the running community.

My first 5 mile race, the Marathon Sports 5 Miler in July, 2008, was when I discovered what the running community is all about. While I struggled with all of my internal demons and negative self talk, the Marathon Sports Family was preparing to welcome me as I crossed the finish line - last!

We celebrated on Facebook with Thor (an appropriate name for him) after he ran his 100th marathon at this year's Boston Marathon. He went on to be the sighted guide for Randy Pierce as Randy, a totally blind runner and founder of 2020 Vision Quest, qualified for Boston.

My friend Melissa Gleaton inspires me. She is new to running and has this fierce determination about setting and achieving goals for herself.

She posted these words of wisdom on Facebook: "During my 5k on Saturday I felt like I was struggling and thought "there is no way I can do 10k in July." Then, during my 5-miler on Sunday I felt great, that I could even go one more mile. What a difference a day makes." She did the Memorial Day Weekend Challenge racing a 5K and then a 5 Mile Race the following day. With grace, she posted the photo of her last place in the 5K and the next day, posted the photo of her medal from completing the challenge:



John Young is the embodiment of grace as evidenced when he had to withdraw from the Boston Marathon this year due to illness. He went on to finish the race.



As a volunteer at Boston's Run to Remember, I was inspired to see Justin O'Connell who lives with rods in his back after surgery for scoliosis, come down Arlington Street in the "back of the pack." He had run this year's Boston Marathon and last Thursday won first place in the Challenged Athletes group at the Team Hoyt 5K. He was going to drop out of the Run to Remember at mile 8 but the fans and one very special runner who runs with Back on My Feet Boston, Jess Lanzoni, supported and encouraged him so he was able to cross the finish line.

I am inspired and in awe of my friend Gail Martin who has set out to run a marathon in every state and runs ultras. This past weeekend she posted she had a -27 minute PR on her ultra. Yet a few weeks ago, she had one of her slowest marathon times and is able to take it all in stride. She encouraged me to come out for the Fr. Bullock Charity Race on June 8th. She posted on Facebook, please just come and enjoy yourself. There will be walkers and runners of all paces.

I am running for me now and feeling the joy and the gift of being able to run. I realize that the feeling of being "too slow" have actually kept me from being a part of recent races that I easily could have been a part of like the BAA 5K and the Run to Remember. I plan to run them next year. But if there are races with a fast field, I am delighted to volunteer or be a spectator for Tom.

With my return to the running community this past year after a two year hiatus, and having the view as a volunteer, a spectator, a mid and back packer, I can feel myself shaking loose those demons that were deeply embedded in my body, mind and soul as a result of paralytic polio and trauma. I am finding grace and equanimity in myself through being blessed to witness the grace and beauty of those around me. I feel the grace that is the thread that weaves together our very fabric as a community of runners. It does a mind, body and soul good!

"What distinguishes those of us at the starting line from those of us on the couch is that we learn through running to take what the days gives us, what our body will allow us, and what our will can tolerate." ~John "The Penguin" Bingham

Springtime Run on Heartbreak Hill - I Am Not What Happened to Me....

I am what I choose to become.



We don't get to choose what happens to us. We can only choose how we respond to what happens to us. How we play the hand we are dealt. Some would say I was dealt a pretty crummy hand; paralytic polio at age 5 and being severely abused from 8 years old until I was 17 years old. My dad's suicide when I was 17 and then my nephew's suicide in 2011; being at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel on 4/15/13. I've had 25 surgeries including major reconstruction leg surgery on my "polio" leg.

I was diagnosed in 2006 with post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease and gone through a few relapses in these past 7 and a half years.

But my heart is filled with gratitude for the blessings and grace in my life. At times, the journey was filled with uncertainty. I suffered and yes I mean suffered with symptoms of PTSD. I struggled and went down many different roads to finally arrive on my healing path today using Aquatics Therapy at Spaulding Rehab, regular massage sessions at Sollievo which incorporate Zero Balancing into the work and running.

I took a two year running hiatus. The events of 4/15/13 made me realize that I needed and wanted to rejoin the running community. This "comeback" unlike returning to the roads after running the 2009 Boston Marathon, has required patience and releasing expectations of what I should be able to do.

I'm allowing myself to run from the inside out this time.

Today we did 5 miles on Heartbreak Hill. I have been tracking my workouts on Nike. My pace is improving with each run and today, I had negative splits - on Heartbreak Hill.

It was gorgeous with the sunshine, the trees in bloom, the birds singing.

I realized that I had never trained on Heartbreak Hill in Spring or summer because we began our long runs for the 2009 Boston Marathon in the winter. I had to take a running hiatus in 2009 after Boston. In 2010 I was running again but didn't think to use Hearbreak Hill for training and then was on a running hiatus from 2011 to 2013.

But I'm back now and embracing every moment of this journey.

My diagnosis doesn't define me. The trauma I experienced doesn't define me. I feel a renewed sense of healing, hope and possibility in my journey which feels solid and grounded and right and true for me. I honor and care about myself mind, body and Spirit.

It's a lot of hard work to get back into training but I feel a wellspring of joy rise up within me.

In October of 2007, a few months after being discharged from Spaulding Rehab Outpatient therapy, I asked my personal trainer if she thought I could get any stronger. We decided to find out just what this body could do.

I'm exploring and testing my limits all over again because...

I am not what happened to me... I am what I choose to become!

Royal Flush from Seasons of the Soul

One could say I was dealt a hand of crummy cards to play
at first blush I would have to agree
bluffing became my way of life
playing my cards close to my chest
ever vigilant
shifting eyes
wondering
do I continue to play or fold?

The stakes were high
I could no longer up the ante
living on the edge
waiting to find freedom only in death
every day a living death
something had to give
new rules
unconditional love
trust
strength
courage
steadiness
releasing fear by experiencing fear
losing self consciousness
opening my heart.

I bet everything I had
riding on hope, faith and a prayer

“I’m all in”
putting my cards on the table
there it was
a royal flush!

My memoir, Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility is now available on Amazon

A Time for Stillness

In Stillness from A Celebration of Life

The silt settles in stillness
the ripples
calm
noon sun
by the shore
my breath deepens.

In stillness
I awaken
aware of the impermanence of all things
settling into the gift of the moment
wanting nothing
in emptiness
in stillness
peace and solitude.

Yesterday was the last day of being #supportcrew for this year's Boston Marathon runners. It was an exhausting yet exhilarating day of packet stuffing. I have been going non stop with water stops, fund raisers, being solo support crew for my friends who were running, standing in all sorts of weather while also getting my run on as I returned to running through the winter for the first time in two years.

Last night I sat down to take a deep breath and be still. I scrolled through some articles about the aftermath of last year's marathon, but then I shifted my focus to look at this year's race. There are wonderful articles about the elite runners and what kind of a race this is shaping up to be. In my stillness, I was able to to understand how I so wanted to feel a sense of completion at the Mandarin last year; coming full circle from when I ran my triumphant marathon in 2009. I was finally beginning to feel well enough after healing from my nephew's suicide in 2011 and experiencing a sense of coming home in my body. That day had a radically different outcome than the one I had imagined as the day began with so much promise.

But I also know how incredibly blessed and fortunate we were to only experience emotional wounds that day; emotional wounds that are healing with time, love, nourishment from an incredible community, my own resilience and strength and by giving to those who are running Boston this year.

In my stillness, I sent out prayers; a meditation of loving kindness to all. May we be happy.. May we be healthy.. May be we safe.. May we live with ease. I thought about all those whose lives were dramatically altered after last year's events and sent out special prayers for healing.

I am not going back to the Mandarin this year. In my stillness, I found a sense of peace in accepting that it would be too much for me to spend the day inside and inside the space where we experienced the bombing. I was able to acknowledge, as painful as it was, that there is no way I can go back and reclaim that day anymore than I can go back and reclaim the end of my kindergarten year when I contracted paralytic polio and my life was forever changed...anymore than I can go back and change any of the traumatic events that happened in my life.

But what I can do is move forward. I can feel overwhelming gratitude for each day and for the blessings and grace in my life. I can create new Boston Marathon memories and I can honor that I am still healing from trauma and that I live with a neuromuscular condition. But what a beautiful life I have!

Life has a funny way of working out - always - and because I could not go back to the Mandarin, we are going to watch the marathon with the mother of a dear friend who is running and did not want to spectate alone on Marathon Monday.

As we approach the anniversary of 4/15/13, I am taking deep breaths, crying tears of sadness and tears of relief, joy and gratitude that we have all made it through this past year and are healing. There are two photos that really contrast then and now:

Bostonians gather for a moment of silence on Boylston St. shortly after 4/15/13 for a moment of silence:



On 4/12/14 Bostonians gather for a Sports Illustrated photo shoot:



I talk about the signs of renewal and healing in my blog post "Joy and Spring return to Boston...And this time next year..."

Beginning on Thursday, there is going to be a frenzy of activity leading up to Marathon Monday.

I'll begin Thursday with a 90 minute session at Sollievo Massage and Bodywork. The sessions focus on deep relaxation and healing and I am able to meditate during the sessions. My therapist, Joseph Brescia, incorporates a number of techniques, one of which is Zero Balancing a body-mind therapy that I am exploring to continue to nourish mind, body and Spirit and heal trauma and parayltic polio. I cherish that me time and time of stillness especially as we launch into Marathon weekend.

Thursday evening is L Street's pre marathon meeting. On Saturday, Tom runs the BAA 5K and there will be many commemorative and celebratory activities for the weekend. We will be going to the Race Expo and connecting with friends throughout the weekend.

And then one week from today - the 118th Boston Marathon. For now, I am settling into moments of stillness and reflection allowing all the emotions to surface and move through me as I no longer mark the anniversary of the bombings by months but by one year!

70 Days to Go - Stay Focused and Have Faith - An Inventory of Grace

During this morning's meditation I was recalling two quotes on optimism that recently came to me:

From Gil Hedley:

Optimism isn't merely a disposition. It is a skill, a viewpoint that can be chosen. Genuine optimism doesn't pretend that awful stuff isn't going on. It isn't in denial of all that the pessimist sees. Optimism simply represents a willingness to see the best in a given situation or person, notwithstanding the accompanying hard realities. Worth experimenting with!

And this from Winston Churchill:



My monkey mind was in full force this morning as I jumped from anxiety about two upcoming fund raisers for Singing Boston Strong to feeling the pangs of grief around the 3/4 anniversary of my nephew's suicide 3 years ago and various other items I threw into the mix.

And then I said to myself, be calm - stay focused and have faith and Martin Luther King Jr's quote floated into my mind:



I allowed tears to swell and then I took a grace inventory...I reflected on moments of grace in my life reaching back to when I was 5 and contracted paralytic polio to how fortunate we were on 4/15/13 to escape after the bombings.

I thought about Friday night's Kirtan and how people have been sharing my poem,
"If Only" from Elements of Healing
If Only I could stay in the sacred space of my spirit
to feel the delicious warmth and leaps of joy.
If only I could sweep away all the fear,the doubt
to allow my spirit to take center stage.
If only I could live in love
and allow trust to take the spotlight.
If only I could let peace wash over me
and watch anxiety go out with the tide.
If only I could wholeheartedly believe what i know to be true
and allow my heart to bathe in delight.
If only I could allow myself to experience the magic and wonder that life has to offer.
If only I allow my heart to break wide open
crushing the walls of protection and divine love comes rushing in.
If only I live my truth
and allow me to be my authentic self
when i throw off the shackles of the past.
If only becomes now.


I realized that all I need to do is stay focused and have faith and trust because time after time after time, everything has always worked out. And as one of my dear friends Mandi Monique Bateman posted on facebook:

Don't Get Ahead of Yourself

When I woke up this morning, I knew in every fiber of my being that I was ready to increase my mileage on training runs. Jamaica Pond had been our go to place for training runs when we were training for the 2009 Boston Marathon.



We know it is 1.5 miles/loop and I told Tom I was ready to do three times around. There were no parking spaces nearby so I got a little extra mileage complete with a steep hill to and from our car for a total of 5 yes count them 5 miles!!!!

It was a chilly start but I had my layers on. The sun was still warm and felt wonderful as we walked around the Pond laced with fall foliage and feeling leaves crunch underneath our feet. I wasn't concerned about pace and wanted to focus on increasing distance.

As we walked by one of the stone walls, I remembered how seeing them covered with snow and the Pond covered in ice inspired one of my poems that I include in the chapter, Running Free in A Celebration of Life: (now available on Amazon

Courage - January 5, 2009
The fear of ice and snow and slush embedded in my soul
a training run in winter - the path to Being whole.
A winter scene - Jamaica Pond - a feast for eyes' delight
to witness nature's splendor and behold this glorious sight.
A leaf - a tiny dancer - skating free without a sound
God's breath directs her movements,as She guides her twirling 'round.
Families of ducks decide to walk or take a dip
a comedy of errors into icy water slip.
The branches now bejeweled with ice bend with loving Grace
sparkling diamonds' anchor water's surface hold in place.
God's hand a glove of glistening snow hugs rocks along the wall
their heads peek out reminding me I'm answering God's call.
A scene I'd never witness if I let my fear take hold
courage triumphed, steppin' out with footsteps sure and bold.
Knowing that the pain subsides and Spirit can prevail
the Marathon is beckoning - through those miles I shall sail.

There were moments when a runner would pass us and I would instinctively pick up my pace. Tom reminded me to slow down and keep a more steady pace so that my body could get used to the increased mileage. By our third time around, I was feeling my "marathon" self emerge. I wanted to just keep going and going and going. As we were heading into the last half of our final loop, an animal totem appeared moving ever so slowly in our path:



Tom posted the photo on facebook with the caption, "We crossed paths with a little caterpillar on our 5 mile run this morning. We wish him or her a successful journey!"

Today the training began for the 2014 Tufts 10K for Women.

But I can't do this the way I did it back in February of 2008 when I declared that I wanted to run the 2009 Boston Marathon for Spaulding. I went from 0 miles to 26.2 miles in just a little over a year. I pushed my body to move rather than move in my body. I am learning how to move in my body. I am learning how to pace myself and just like that fuzzy caterpillar that crossed our path today I am reminded that I cannot get ahead of myself.

Happy Moments in the Rain

In the cold winter of February 2007, during the dark night of my body and soul when I had no idea what the future held for me, I wrote a poem, "Come Out and Play" that is in my first book of poetry, "New World Greetings:Inspirational Poetry and Musings for a New World"

Come Out and Play
Arms flung open wide, dancing in the rain
Pure abiding joy to feel alive again.
Healing tears fall and blend in God's puddle
No time to sit in a corner and huddle.
All the old ways driven by fears
Washed away now by God's loving tears.
The imprint Dad left no longer remains
Rain washes away all of the stains.
Baptised with Love, Truth lights my way
The sun shines through on this rainy day
Splashing and laughing my heart opens wide
Embracing and flowing I'm one with the tide.
God takes my hand - release the old way
BATHE IN MY GLORY - COME OUT AND PLAY.

Please bear in mind that I was in a short leg brace,



wore a wrist splint at night to treat carpel tunnel syndrome, had difficulty swallowing and breathing although I was beginning to experience some relief with the therapies I was receiving through Spaulding Rehab Outpatient Clinic in Boston and my prognosis was "guarded" at best meaning that the best we could hope for was that the symptoms would not progress if I followed all of the recommendations of my treatment team and left my full time award winning career as a VA social worker just 3 years shy of retirement. I was scared. But somewhere my Spirit was beginning to speak through my pen which had become my divining rod for healing. I wrote that poem after having a dream in which I shed my leg brace and was dancing barefoot in the rain a la Gene Kelly going up and down on the sidewalk in all of these fancy moves.

This morning it was raining. I started to venture outside for my training power walk for the Brookline Symphony Orchestra 5K Fun Run and I thought, um no. After all, we have a treadmill. I "fired" up the treadmill and as I began my power walk, I realized that the treadmill was not going to work for me. So I got a hat, my 2009 Boston Marathon jacket, my iPod and water belt and off I went to do my 3.5 miles in the rain.

As the rain poured down on me, I felt a sense of happiness. I smiled. I remembered many training runs in the rain for the '09 Marathon with a distance a lot longer than 3.5 miles but I certainly did not feel as well as I did today. I was completely in the moment of each footstep. At one point, I was so lost in the moment that I didn't even realize I was halfway around my 2nd loop of the reservoir. I experienced a delightful sense of disorientation with the rain and being lost in the moment.

I reflected on how lucky I am and how I blessed I am to be able to experience Happy Moments in the Rain.

The Mouse in the Baseboard - I Gotta Feeling - When No Words Are Needed

4 am - clanging sounds coming from downstairs. My gut didn't clutch. I knew I was safe but I was curious about what was going on in the house. I figured Jamie our beloved four foot whom we adopted from the Animal Rescue League was running around although I'd never heard that pattern of sounds before.

Finally at 5, my husband and I went into the living room watching Jamie. She had retrieved a small tin foil ball from under the radiator. I said to her, "Really Jamie? Is that what all of this was about?" But she was in the zone not paying any attention to us. She stared at the baseboard of the radiator and she kept putting her paw underneath and through it. She was a cat on a mission for sure but we had no idea what she was after. I decided to go back to bed and Tom was going to get ready for work.

As I was about to head upstairs, and Tom into the kitchen to fix his coffee, she ran by Tom with a mouse in her mouth! She gave up the mouse to his hands and he tossed the mouse outside. She then went over and lay down in front of the radiator. In our 16 years of living in our home, we have never seen a mouse.




In May of 2001, my daughter's choir had a trip to New York City. We stayed in lower Manhattan and my kids wanted to visit the World Trade Center. I've been in the Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty and never had any problem with being in closed buildings and going to the top to view the panoramic vista of New York. But as we stood in the lobby of the World Trade Center, my gut began to churn. I told my kids we couldn't go to the top or do anything else in this building. We had to get out and now.... When the towers were hit on 9/11, my daughter remembered that feeling I had.

Jamie could not see the mouse in the radiator baseboard because the slats are too small to get a visual cue of anything in there, but her animal instincts were on high alert. I loved the experience of being held in the wordlessness of the moment watching the unfolding of what was happening in the unseen world as Jamie was guided by her animal instincts.

How often do we sense something beyond what we can actually see. Do we have the courage to act on our instincts and allow our senses which tap into the mystery and wonder of it all to guide us? As I am getting older, and engaged in mindful practices, I am more open to embracing the mystic within myself, with others and be open to the amazing synchronicities that happen in my life.



In Priscilla Warner's book, "Learning to Breathe:My Yearlong Quest to Bring Calm To My Life," she writes

"But Mingyur {referring to Mingyur Rinpoche the monk who suffered from panic attacks whom she meets on a retreat early on in her journey} had warned us not to worry if our emotions became strong as a result of our meditation practice, or if we began to see and hear things that seemed unusual. I would remember his words when my life began to shift in eerie, powerful ways."

And just as I may not be able to see that mouse in the baseboard, I tune into what my heart and body need to continue to heal and recover--to move forward as a beautiful, graceful animal with great joy, freedom and celebration. I gotta feeling....



When No Words Are Needed from Seasons of the Soul now available on Amazon

As chanting monks serenade the work in the sacred space
no words are needed
seeing with inner sight
his healing hands explore the once ravaged landscape
as a beach metal detector scans to find hidden treasures
the wounds surface
no words are needed
to share the gory violent details
we work together as Divine Love flows

no words are needed
in silent meditation all that was hidden is made manifest
revealed to heal
touching sensations long buried beneath shame
lies that this wee one was undeserving of care
as my life was carelessly tossed and turned upside down
no words are needed
his hands speak volumes of Truth
as he moves with a knowing
palpating pain invisible to the naked eye
holding with the tenderness of a mother’s love
with each stroke the old wounds fade away

no words are needed
a different imprint on my heart
my body embodies and embraces new memories
no words are needed
eyes briefly meet
compassion overflows
healer and healed
healed and healer

no words are needed.


From my heart to yours
With total love and deepest gratitude,
Mary

MAY ALL BEINGS BE HAPPY AND FREE!

Spring {Blog} Break - Mother Tree

After yesterday's wonderful and inspiring blog post about Chronic Pain - When Pain Leaves The Body and with my daughter coming home for her Spring Break, I decided it's a good time to take a Spring {Blog} Break. I am going to be finishing the final edit for Songs of Freedom:Poems From a Healing Odyssey Volume II:Seasons of the Soul (Volume I:Elements of Healing is now available on Amazon) and enjoying the anticipation of Spring time in New England with my beautiful daughter.

I leave you with this stunning video shared by Erica Mather in her newsletter:

Mother Tree

Plants don’t exist in isolation—they create networks and communities. This video unveils the communication that happened between trees via their root systems, and how they collaborate to help one another grow.



May we all support and love one another to help each of us grow to be the beautiful flowers of compassion, light and love that is ready to blossom within each one of us.

The Gift of Yoga from "Songs of Freedom:Poems From a Healing Odyssey Volume II:Seasons of the Soul

The gift of yoga I give to myself
owning my practice
owning my life
petal by petal this beautiful lotus flower
emerges from the murky waters of the past
slowly opens
reclaiming the treasure feared lost forever
found on my yoga mat
rediscover
reclaim
reinhabit
the space taken by eminent domain
spinal mobility flexibility
anger and paralysis melt away
open heart
Radiant one
One Love
Om…..


From my heart to yours
With total love and deepest gratitude,
Mary

MAY ALL BEINGS BE HAPPY AND FREE!

The First Snowfall - Simple Pleasures

"'Some of the greatest things in life don't have to be so dramatic',the rabbi said. 'Remember that. You can do something modest. When a mother cradles her child, fireworks don't explode. That's the secret of all of life. Some of the most beautiful things happen below the radar. Not on Wall Street, not on television. Not with all the hoopla. It's in the quiet moments that our lives are shaped. In homes, in cribs, in bedrooms, in the little things,' the soul doctor said to me sweetly. 'That's where it all happens.'" Priscilla Warner Learning to Breathe:My Yearlong Quest to Bring Calm To My Life"

As I look back on these past 6 years, I realize that I probably worked harder than I have in my entire life to heal and recover from a lifetime of neglecting my mind/body connection as a result of trauma and paralytic polio. But yesterday I thoroughly reaped the rewards of my incredibly hard work. I rested on a plateau feeling incredibly satisfied and contented with myself and my life.

I took my time with a morning meditation and then had a delicious breakfast. It's the breakfast I have almost every day but I was able to really enjoy and appreciate my simple meal. Oats n flax oatmeal from Trader Joe's

orange juice, banana and a slice of quinoa bread toasted.

Since it was my day off from a physical yoga practice, I could treat myself to a hot cup of decaf coffee. During my morning meditation I was inspired to write a birthday poem for David from the yoga teacher trainee tribe (shhh don't tell him). As I savored my breakfast, I allowed the poem to flow smiling and enjoying the creative process.

With teacher training and Tom's marathon training, we don't spend a lot of time cleaning the house. It was a perfect day to clean. I cleaned out contacts from my gmail account and made space in our beautiful home. I enjoyed cleaning, taking my time, and pacing myself. I downloaded some new music into my iPod. I studied anatomy using the DVD for Trail Guide to the Body.

And then after a nutritious lunch with a cup of peppermint tea our first snowfall.

By 3 pm, I was feeling ready for a nap. My beautiful four foot and I enjoyed nap time together.

There was no pressure to do anything, to plan anything, to be concerned about anything beyond each moment I was experiencing throughout the day. It was an amazing day filled with simple pleasures.

If only...from "Songs of Freedom:Poems From a Healing Odyssey" now available on Amazon

If only I could stay in the sacred space of My Spirit
to feel the delicious warmth and leaps of joy
If only I could sweep away all the fear, the doubt
to allow my Spirit to take center stage
If only I could live in Love
and allow trust to be in the spotlight
If only I could let peace wash over me
and watch anxiety go out with the tide
If only I could wholeheartedly believe what I know to be true
and allow my heart to bathe in delight
If only I allow myself to experience all the magic and wonder
that life has to offer
If only I allow my heart to break wide open
crushing the walls of protection and Divine Love comes rushing in
If only I live my truth
and allow me to be my authentic self
When I throw off the shackles of the past
if only becomes now.

From my heart to yours
With total love and deepest gratitude,
Mary

MAY ALL BEINGS BE HAPPY AND FREE!

A Fork In The Road

I am working on my sense of direction which of course can have multiple meanings but for the purpose of today's post, I am referring to getting from Point A to Point B driving in a car. I know it's a fear thing that I'm going to get lost and not trusting my intuition. I always allow plenty of time to get to a place I've not been to before and if it's a really important event or appointment, Tom will drive me or we will do a dry run before I go there.

On Friday I had to venture out to a new place. Tom and I had done a dry run and there was a part of me that wanted Tom to drive but I knew it was time for me to get over myself and have the confidence that I would arrive at my destination. Tom had a brilliant idea. He would lend me his phone for the day with his navigator since I no longer have a smart phone.

I was ready. I had my printed directions and was calming my mind. I was remembering our dry run. My faithful companion was awesome until she wanted me to take a route that was not the route of the dry run. I figured she'd just recalculate. Okay cool - we're back on track now.

And then I came to a fork in the road that I did not remember on our dry run. Do I bear left or bear right. I looked to her for advice. Where was that wonderful voice telling me in so many hundred feet to go this way or that way. I looked down at the phone. It was black.

I had a Luke Skywalker moment



and I made a choice.

I could feel the anxiety start to rise but I stayed steady. A car pulled up next to me. I asked them where the road I needed to be on was and they said - you are on it. Just follow us.

The left turn I needed to take came up really quickly and since I did not have miss i'll tell you where to go guiding me, I simply put on my indicator and flashed my winning smile to get across the lanes.

I arrived safely at my destination.

A wonderful soul lesson about what happens when we come to a fork in the road. Just choose and trust that no matter what, there will be someone or something to guide you and one way or another, you always arrive at your destination.


Weeding Out Fear - from Songs of Freedom:Poems From a Healing Odyssey now available on Amazon

The weeds of fear
dim my vision
drown out the voice of love
cloud my mind.

One false move
false belief
the weeds of fear
tangled in a web of deceit
stranglehold on roots
thirsting for life
sapping strength
draining life force
choked cries
hungering for Source of life.

The garden of my soul
tended with care
trust and patience
watered with Love
gently weeding out fear.

Breakthrough
open to the light
living in the glorious now
all there is.

From my heart to yours
With total love and deepest gratitude
Mary

MAY ALL BEINGS BE HAPPY AND FREE!

Through the Lens of Grace - It's Gonna Turn Out Fine

...only rainbows after rain...it's hard to remember sometimes...it's gonna turn out fine

"The grace of God is coming down all the time, like rain, but we forget to cup our hands." - from "Learning to Breathe:My Yearlong Quest to Bring Calm To My Life"

During a morning meditation I was reflecting on my life. On 11/6th, I will be the guest on Bernie Siegel's radio show, Mind Health Matters. I looked back on how I came to know Bernie and his work. What came to light is how blessed I am to be able to experience everything that has happened to me through the lens of grace. It wasn't always easy to have this perspective and know and trust that everything was gonna turn out fine but there is really no other way to live. When we live in the present moment, everything IS fine.

In 1982 I was hospitalized with a serious staph infection which temporarily left me without the use of my right arm.

The first touch of grace I experienced in this scenario was with an orthopedic surgeon who has been an angel in my life several times over. Dr. Reilly just happened to walk onto the medical floor I was on as I was talking a walk around trying to keep myself together with what was happening to me. He asked me what the xrays were showing. I told him none had been taken. It was like a scene out of Grey's Anatomy. He grabbed my chart, ordered xrays and by the afternoon I was in the OR having an operation to save the use of my right arm.

During my hospitalization my primary nurse, Beth Jordan, brought me a cassette tape - yes a cassette tape of Bernie Siegel

for a tape player.

She brought me trail mix. She told me my life needed healing. We stayed in touch with each other for many years after my hospitalization until she moved to Maine to care for her elderly parents. I carry her with me in my heart feeling her love and the touch of grace she imprinted on my heart. She lived on Lily Pond Lane where water lilies floated serenely on the surface of the pond where we went canoeing together.

After hearing Bernie's talk and reading his book, "Love, Medicine and Miracles"

my husband and I went to hear him and his wife Bobbie speak at Harvard. It was a life changing experience. As so often happens, we lose traction of the practices we need in order to maintain a healthy, balanced life for mind, body and Spirit.

After I was diagnosed with post polio syndrome back in 2006, I reconnected with Bernie. I joined his Forum. I went to hear him speak and he became what he calls, my chosen dad or CD for short. He was an incredible cheerleader of mine during my Boston Marathon experience and somehow I ended up being interviewed on his radio show, Mind Health Matters last May. You can listen to the archive of the show, Life and Poetry.

Yes my life has been very challenging but through every challenge, through every moment of hell, there always was and always will be my ability to choose the perspective of seeing it all through the lens of grace.

The Present - from "Songs of Freedom:Poems From a Healing Odyssey" now available on Amazon

What glasses am I wearing?
Am I seeing through the prism of the past
tainted by others
Detach.

What glasses am I wearing?
I tremble in your presence
feeling Divine Love
afraid to trust its pure intention
Receive.

What glasses am I wearing?
I see the truth
of my own Divinity
a birthright to be happy and free
being as I am truly meant to be
Discern.

What glasses am I wearing?
I see the beauty, the grace
allowing peace in this moment
shaking off all that went before
allowing the butterfly to fly free
Transform.

Embody my Being
offering the gift of myself to the world.


From my heart to yours
With total love and deepest gratitude
Yours in grace,
Mary

MAY ALL BEINGS BE HAPPY AND FREE!

In the beginning there was a blank page

In the beginning there was a blank page, only I did not know about blank pages growing up in a chaotic household. I only knew about reacting to crises and trying to survive. When the Universe hit me with the proverbial 2 x 4 in the guise of post polio syndrome, a progressive neurological disease, I discovered the joy of the blank page. Immersing myself in 'New Age' teachers, I learned that I had the power to create my life. My future was not based on the past and I had the opportunity to create a new world for myself.

A blank page for some is daunting. Where do I begin to write, to express myself? Who am I? Where is my voice and do I have something meaningful to say? My blank page was filled before I realized I had a blank page on which to write. As I sat in the dark winter of February 2007, contemplating my future, the poem "Running the Race" flowed out of me. The poems which followed came from a place of stillness. Still waters do run deep. I had to keep blank pages with me at all times and they were quickly filled. Wherever I was, God spoke to me and my pen wrote. I did not know that I was writing a book. I only knew that on the wings of poetry, my spirit soared. I imagined myself feeling free, dancing free, being free despite using a wheelchair at times for mobility, using a leg brace and a cane and needing a wrist splint. Do you know the song, "Dancing Through Life" from Wicked? That became my theme song and I'd listen to it before physical therapy sessions. "Defying Gravity" from Wicked was another theme song I adopted. I was giving birth to myself and learning how to love myself for the first time in my life.

These books of inspirational poetry are God's gift to me. I love sharing this gift with others. I am overjoyed with the feedback I receive from my readers. Recently I have been very busy getting ready to launch "Set Sail for a New World:Healing a Life Through the Gift of Poetry" and forgot about my first baby, "New World Greetings:Inspirational Poetry and Musings for a New World." God spoke through three of my readers to remind me to be attentive to both of my babies.

"Your life story is incredible, and just to let you know, I have started reading the copy of New World Greetings, that you gave to my mum, your poetry is beautiful". This was written by a teen ager who chose to interview me for her Young Journalist Award submission.

"Gently set aside in life what's not for my highest good
Eliminate regrets and doubts~eliminate the should" excerpting from "Recipe for a Relationship"
Mary McManus You are an amazing gift, a talented poet and a beautiful woman of much wisdom. Thanks for giving me words to live by. I love the book!" Thank you to Susan for taking the time to post this on my Facebook wall!

I received an email from the photographer who did my author photo. I sent him a complimentary copy of my book as a thank you for creating a wonderful portrait. He gave me permission to use it on my website and for other promotional purposes. He told me that his wife chose to read one of the poems from "New World Greetings" at the memorial service of her father.

Receiving feedback from my readers of how my poetry has touched their hearts and lives is the icing on the cake. Writing the poetry has been a powerful healing force in my life. I am so grateful to God for this gift entrusted to me. I have many wonderful upcoming Events at which I will be sharing my journey and my gift of poetry. I hope you will be able to join me. You can purchase my books of inspirational poetry through my website. Be sure to browse the samples of original poetry I create just for you at New World Greeting Cards where It's More than a Card, It's a Gift From The Heart!

I look forward to sharing my gifts with you.

What will you write on the blank page of your life today?

God bless and be well
With love,
Mary

Letting Go, Letting God

First of all -- a disclaimer. I don't have an entirely empty nest. I have a beautiful animal companion, Alex aka Alex da cat dude. When my son did relief work in the lower ninth two years ago in New Orleans they heard meowing in the attic at Common Ground, the volunteer house where he was living. Common Ground had adopted a dog, Chopper and a Katrina cat. My son was planning to bring home Chopper to give him a permanent home but after hearing the meowing in the attic, the volunteers discovered that the Katrina cat had given birth to a litter of kittens. There was no way they could stay there; my son and his friend each took one of the kittens. My son named him Alex after an anarchist leader (whose name escapes me now). My daughter and husband dubbed him Alex da cat dude and since he rules the house, we call him King Alex (and even have that name inscribed on his ID tag). (In case you are wondering, my son moved out a year ago April to follow his own path).

Yesterday, Alex manifested a sign for me. It was raining yesterday morning but he still wanted to go outside. I expected when he returned he would be soaking wet. When he came back in he was moew'ing and meow'ing so I thought he wanted a pick up to be dried off. When I picked him up, he was completely dry. God sent me another sign last night. I'd been in and out of the kitchen several times yesterday. I'm a little OCD especially during times of change and transition so I notice things that are 'out of place'. While I was vacuuming last night, something was moving around on the floor refusing to be vacuumed up. I looked closer and it was a nickel. It had not been there all day or I would have noticed! God is letting me know that there are mysteries and miracles abounding all around me. I only need to let go and let God.

This morning's Daily Word is Divine Order.

"God is divine order. The spiritual universe, from which all the material universe springs, is orderly. Order is its essence. Spirit is everlasting, unchanging and unchangeable." ... "I keep my thoughts in order by refusing to dwell on any but harmonious thoughts. I refuse to let fear or doubt or discouragement derail my thinking. I achieve order in my life by affirming that I am in harmony with divine order, directed and guided by it."

During this morning's meditation I realized that part of the tears I cried yesterday were for myself. What a contrast between the way I left for college in September 1971 and the way my daughter left for Tennessee. My father had spent all of my college savings. He had chosen to end his life a month before I was leaving for Boston University. I was carrying the trauma from years of abuse and the baggage of a polio survivor. My mother, herself a trauma survivor and dealing with many medical issues which led her to become addicted to prescription painkillers was not able to provide any emotional support. In fact, I would commute on weekends from Boston to help her settle my father's mess and take care of her parents who had begun to slip into dementia. God was there all along and despite the seeming chaos, everything was as it should be. Everything was in Divine Order. Thank God for my brother. Up until this moment, I had not realized the important role he played in my life during that critical time. And right in this moment I realize the significance of the nickel. Five. There were four people in our family but God's Love and constant Presence through it all made for five.

The sun is shining this morning. It is a new day. Every day is a new day, a new beginning and I let go and let God guide my day. It would be easy to clutter my day with things to do, calling people, busying myself to distract myself from the grieving process of having sent my beautiful daughter off to Tennessee. It is gentle grief today unlike the wracking pain of yesterday. Not having someone around who has been a part of my life for 23 years creates a feeling of sadness. I just let the little ripples come and go and can smile and know that God is right here. There is a bird singing loudly this morning - a call to go outside and be one with God as I go on a run to start the engines of my physical body and see where Spirit leads me this day.

I've been blessed with the gift of inspirational poetry which has helped me to heal mind, body and spirit -- I'd love to share my gift with you. You can order "New World Greetings:Inspirational Poetry and Musings for a New World" and "Set Sail for a New World:Healing a Life Through the Gift of Poetry" through my website New World Greetings.

After you order your autographed, signed copy of my books, browse the samples of original poetry I create through New World Greeting Cards and celebrate and commemorate with a one of a kind poem.

Be sure to check out my News and Events page to see what's next for me in my new world.

Waves of Weather

From the mid west, to the mid-Atlantic states to New England (where I live) everyone has been talking about the weather. There have been waves of severe weather -- one minute the sun is shining and the next, the dark clouds move in and the skies open to the sound of thunder claps and a spectacular lightning show. This weather pattern is a fitting backdrop to the emotions I have been experiencing for the past few weeks.

I am so blessed with a beautiful daughter who is leaving home to follow her heart and her dreams. I am so grateful for the opportunities that have opened before her and what she has created. I am so proud of her receiving her associates degree and going on to pursue a bachelor's degree. I wrote about her going away party two weeks ago -- love filled our home as they paid tribute to the neighbor, friend, babysitter, marathon runner, student and beautiful Spirit. Kate Loving Shenk who writes the Daily Prayer Healing Blog commented on my comment on her post, "Mary Ruth Anne's leaving is traumatic - say it like it is".

Just as we have no control over the weather, I can only go with the waves of emotions during this time. There are times when the pangs of separation are intense. I realized today that we are each giving birth to our new selves. When once we had this rhythm of living together (and to be honest it was not always a picnic for either one of us) we are now pursuing our own hopes and dreams as two women. And while we were doing this while we lived together -- this is a new chapter -- an exciting time -- an exhilarating adventure and I am so blessed to have such fullness of joy in my life with my business, my marriage, my friends, my neighobrhood, my gift of poetry and the opportunities which unfold before me. But there are no short cuts when going through a life transition.

The sun -- I love my life and I am so grateful for the bounty of blessings since I left my full time job at the VA 3 years ago. I love my solitude and am so blessed to have so many friends both in my life and in cyber space. My life is overflowing with the gift of poetry and spiritual resources to help me keep awake. My daughter graduated with high honors and we had several weeks of celebrations, going away dinners, last trips to her favorite places. She leaves with confidence, a wonderful network of friends waiting to support her when she arrives in Nashville, a car, a drivers license, seed money and most important above all of these the love and support of her family and friends back home and love, generosity and a kind Spirit. She lives from her heart.

The storm -- winds of change, a different rhythm, the loss of a weekday running partner, someone to take a day trip with in the middle of the week on her day off, the love and laughter which filled our home every day, watching favorite TV shows together, watching You Tube videos, having dinner conversation with her, hearing her pace in her room while listening to her iPod and a thousand little things that a mother gets used to.

The sun -- how could I want anything else but for her to go and follow her dreams? This is how it is meant to be. And I will have time to focus on my business, my poetry, my spiritual growth; for decades I always had someone dependent on me. First I was caretaker in my family (my mom and her parents), then I was caretaker for my patients and along with caring for them, being the mother of twins. This is the first time in my life when I have time for me -- to take care of myself mind, body and spirit. It is a wonderful liberating feeling to know that my work as a mother is complete. Our relationship will transform and grow and it will never be the same as when she lived at home.It will evolve into something more wonderful.

The storm -- and part of what makes this time especially traumatic for me has nothing to do with my daughter. It has to do with something that happened on August 1, 1971. Interestingly enough for the five days prior to August 1, 1971 there were waves of severe weather. That was the time that my father was missing and he left a suicide note. This is a blessed opportunity for me to to heal the wounds from a father's suicide. I feel an incredible strength to feel the pain of abandonment and to have it transformed with God's Love. My husband is driving my daughter's car to Nashville. He will be back late tomorrow night. I could have gone with them (no not really because I can't sit in a car for long periods of time with post polio syndrome and would not be able to help with the driving because when I drive for over an hour I begin to experience a flare of cervical spine disease) but it was not meant to be. This is something that I need to experience - and in the solitude, in the trauma of separation for a joyous occasion, I can feel God's Love bathe a wound that has needed healing. I was supposed to meet friends for lunch tomorrow but came to the realization that I need to take this time to just let my feelings be. In between bouts of crying and smiles and laughter and joy, I am attending to all that which brings me joy -- my business, my poetry, sharing my gift of poetry with my readers, planning a charity road race, preparing for upcoming events...but it is not only about the doing -- it is about the being and getting into a whole new rhythm of being without the demands of motherhood. It is about feeling my connection with God and that Source of Love that heals all.

The photos above were taken the evening of my daughter's awards dinner at her college as we drove home. Traffic was backed up for the way we usually go and my husband decided to take a different route. As I saw the sun shining while the rain was pouring I said, "Where's the rainbow?" He said, "look ahead -- we wouldn't have seen it if the traffic would not have been backed up." My daughter took these photos -- and so I know that after the storm, there is always the rainbow -- a reminder of God's Love.

I've been blessed with the gift of inspirational poetry which has helped me to heal mind, body and spirit -- I'd love to share my gift with you. You can order "New World Greetings:Inspirational Poetry and Musings for a New World" and "Set Sail for a New World:Healing a Life Through the Gift of Poetry" through my website New World Greetings. Remember that 20% of book proceeds are donated to two causes near and dear to my heart!

After you order your autographed, signed copy of my books, browse the samples of original poetry I create through New World Greeting Cards and celebrate and commemorate with a one of a kind poem.

Be sure to check out my News and Events page to see what's next for me in my new world.

Where's Our Car - Final Team McManus Run

During our marathon training runs, Team McManus has had many, many funny moments -- my bra strap coming undone in the middle of a meltdown during a Charles River Run, my husband losing me while we were running around (around being the operative word) Jamaica Pond so today as Team McManus did their final training run until December (our beloved daughter leaves next Sunday for Nashville) it is only fitting that we had another adventure.

We started out today's training run (Tom and I training for the Harvard Pilgrim 10K and Ruth Anne training for the Country Music Half Marathon) planning to run around Castle Island. My husband missed the exit off of the expressway so since the next exit was Wollaston Beach, we decided to go there 'for old times' sake'. First we had to measure the mileage as we couldn't remember the distance end to end. Our goal was for 5.4 miles and somehow after the fact we realized Tom measured 5.6 miles -- we walked the last mile back to our car .... or did we?

It was a hot sunny day but there was a lovely sea breeze. The sun reflected off of the vast ocean and while we ran we talked about various happenings in the lives of Team McManus. I felt overwhelming gratitude for feeling as well as I do -- I remembered that first walk I took on Wollaston Beach in March of 2008 as we were just beginning to run. I could only walk 20 minutes! Our plan was to stop at the car on our second lap and get the ice water. As we ran we couldn't find our car. My heart rate was beginning to climb and I knew that I needed water. We stopped at one water fountain but expecting that our car was just a little way down the road, did not bother to really hydrate. We made it to the end of our run and -- no car....

We stopped at the Dunkin Donuts and they were so kind to give us a large cup of ice water. You thought we were on Survivor as we rationed this one cup of ice water among the three of us. We walked and walked and we got to one spot where my husband swore he parked the car. He was convinced someone had stolen it! Of course we only had one key with us and we have a keyless ignition. He said his wallet was in the glove compartment. I kept knowing that it was impossible for someone to have stolen our car. (I will add a spiritual side bar here. We were sharing our driveway with a family and decided that we really needed to reclaim our own space and enjoy our empty nest without worrying about being responsible for another family's car. For a moment, a flash from the past emerged -- was I being punished for setting a limit? I heard God's tender Voice of Love saying to me, 'is that how you believe the Universe works? Don't you know by now how important it is that you take care of yourself? Don't you know I love you? Can you please release your thoughts about punishment?') Meanwhile, my husband went up to a State Police Car who just happened to be patrolling the beach. He told him that he thought our car had been stolen. The trooper was so kind and said, just keep walking -- it's not stolen. This happens to people all the time. My daughter walked ahead and yelled out, 'here it is!' It was funny how all 3 of us thought the car was in a space different than where we had parked it -- but all we needed to do was have faith, patience and trust.

I've been blessed with the gift of inspirational poetry which has helped me to heal mind, body and spirit -- I'd love to share my gift with you. You can order "New World Greetings:Inspirational Poetry and Musings for a New World" and "Set Sail for a New World:Healing a Life Through the Gift of Poetry" through my website New World Greetings. Remember that 20% of book proceeds are donated to two causes near and dear to my heart!

After you order your autographed, signed copy of my books, browse the samples of original poetry I create through New World Greeting Cards and celebrate and commemorate with a one of a kind poem.

A Winter's Run-Reflections on Why I Still Run

The sun was out yesterday and despite the 30 degree temperatures, my daughter and I decided that it was time to get outside to do our cardio workout. I had been riding endless miles on the recumbent bike this winter and she would do cardio workouts via cable TV. We are so grateful to have these resources available to us but there is nothing like getting out and running in the fresh air and sunshine. As my daughter set a healthy tempo, I would alternate between running and walking. It was brisk with a headwind but knowing that we once ran a marathon - and not just any marathon - the Boston Marathon, twice around Jamaica Pond was nothing. I noticed the contrast between running in warmer weather in Florida and experiencing the cold of New England. Joints ached but my stubbornness prevailed and we ended up doing 3.2 miles in just a little bit over 45 minutes. My average heart rate was 141 with a peak of 157. My target heart rate is 115-140.

While I was running many thoughts went through my head. Why am I doing this? Why do we still care about our time? Damn it's cold out here - how did I train in temperatures even colder than this? Why should I run a half marathon again? And then the answers became clear. When I first spoke the words that I was going to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab hospital I had no idea that I would fall in love with running. I did not know my body was capable of running. During those very early training runs where it was such an incredible effort to run for a minute, I had one goal in mind - to cross the finish line of the Boston Marathon. So why keep running? Why remain in a training mode?

Yes, I would love to run the Disney Princess Half Marathon in 2011 (and I'm still praying about which charity to run for) but I want to maintain my health and fitness best. I want to inspire other middle aged women to get off the couch and join me in loving their bodies no matter what physical shape they may be in. Everyone has to start somewhere. It is so easy to look at women who are in 'perfect shape' or hear stories of women who are running 10 minute miles, lifting so many pounds and doing so many sit ups and push ups and then to use that as intimidation and self denigration. I know because I always looked at others and felt I could not measure up. I was intimidated, ashamed, embarrassed, and loathed my body for what it could not do.

But today I celebrate what my body can do! I am grateful for every step I take. I am grateful for pain free moments and trust that I have the strength to cope with whatever pain I may be experiencing. I know I can go within and visualize and bless each cell in my body. I watch the slow transformation as I go through the strength training exercises prescribed by my physical therapist to strengthen my core, cervical spine and upper body. I embrace the soreness and give thanks that I have the luxury of time to take exquisite care of my body. I give thanks that I do not have to find time to fit in workouts but can schedule them at my convenience. I give thanks that I can go outside and experience the beauty of a New England winter day - the silence on the icy pond, the barren trees, the muddied ground trusting that beyond the appearances nature is preparing to burst forth with renewal in just a few short months. So why do I still run? Because I am blessed to be able to run, because I love my body and want to give it the exercise it needs to stay healthy, because I want to inspire others and because I want to be a shining example of how, with God, all things are possible.

Reach in and reach out to someone you love this Valentines Day with an original poem from New World Greeting Cards.

While you're there be sure to order my book of inspirational poetry, "New World Greetings:Inspirational Poetry and Musings for a New World". Remember I donate 20% to Spaulding
Rehab's Polio Fund. It's a wonderful way to say "I love you" to that someone special.

Be sure to check out all of the exciting News and Events