Thursday, July 25, 2013

You Have To Walk Before You Can Run

I am so delighted that I am training for the Brookline Symphony Orchestra 5K happening on 9/29. The race director is Greg Gordon who was my fellow teammate on Spaulding Rehab's 2009 Race for Rehab team.

We were together at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel on Marathon Monday when the bombs went off. Since Marathon Monday and since participating in the #onerun, my body told me it's time to get back on the roads. The perfect race for me to train for is Greg's Brookline Symphony Orchestra 5K fun run. It supports our town orchestra and two years ago was a joyful experience for Tom and me. Greg puts the fun in fun run.

While in Maine I discovered the joys of a pre breakfast power walk. I woke up this morning, had a banana and water and off I went for my first 3 mile walk in I don't know how long. I kept reminding myself that I have to walk before I can run again - if I can run again - if I choose to run again given how my body responds to the challenge. But it doesn't matter. A power walk works fine for me and feels excellent in my body.

I felt overcome with emotion after my walk. I realize how blessed I am to be able to get out and feel so well and whole in my body. I thought about those affected by the bombings who have a long and arduous road of recovery ahead for them. I thought about my long and winding road of recovery from when I was diagnosed with post polio syndrome over six years ago and I thought about the over 26 surgeries I have had through the years and countless times I had to learn how to walk again after surgery.

It's been an amazing healing odyssey filled with challenges, experimentation and adventure. After outpatient rehab and hiring a personal trainer I began to run - a lot as in run Forrest run - and trained for the 2009 Boston Marathon and so many races in between. Then I couldn't run because I had a relapse of post polio symptoms. The trauma and the residuals from paralytic polio needed more healing.

During our weekend in Maine we met the manager of Runners Forum, four running stores in the greater Indianpolis area. I sent him a follow up email and he sent me an email with this photo of his employees passing the torch during the One Run to benefit those affected by the Boston Marathon bombings.

It's been a little over four months since the bombings. I know I am still healing emotionally from that experience. I read inspirational stories of those finding their path of healing and recovery after the trauma of the bombings. Here's one about the final survivor leaving Spaulding Rehab yesterday!

My heart joins with them. There was a part of me that wanted to take off and run this morning but I know I have to take it slow this time or risk an injury. I befriend my mantra you have to walk before you can run feeling a sense of deep gratitude wash over me that I CAN walk now with a sense of ease in my body embracing and cherishing that sensation wanting nothing more in this moment.

Surrender from Seasons of the Soul now available along with Volume I:Elements of Healing on Amazon

No longer living life in retreat
hiding in the bunker
cowering, quivering, shivering
mustering courage
waving the white flag
a magnet for the light.

Pain pulsating
wringing out fear from every cell
space for love
exchange of love
end to torment of sleepless nights
tortured twisted thoughts
move forward….

plodding along on diminutive legs unnoticed
steadily stealthily moving forward in its journey
fulfilling its destiny in the Divine Plan
the caterpillar surrenders.

Weaving its temporary tomb entering the darkness
time suspended in the tomb womb
no choice but to be
just be as the mystery unfolds.

Relinquishing old ways
appendages absorb absolve
disquieting discomfort
unsettling uncertainty
seemingly never ending suspense


the beauty moment of freedom arrives

lighting on the lawn
wings flapping
she invites me to celebrate
warming sun
buds on trees
winter darkness a distant memory.

Orange and black bespeckled
bejeweled with Divine Love
glistening in all her glory---

Come dance with me
on my mat I move with the majesty of the monarch
I rise to salute the sun
open grateful heart
relishing freedom.

From my heart to yours
With total love and deepest gratitude,


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