Precious Moments: Advice to My Younger and Not So Younger Self

If there was one piece of advice I would give to my younger (and not so younger self) it would be to remember that moments are precious and wisely choose how you spend your time.



Trust your gut. Listen to your intuition and to your heart. They will not lead you astray. And then take a deep breath and exhale letting everything go.

As a survivor of paralytic polio, I was a fierce Type A personality who believed that I could push and force my way through anything. It served me well as I learned how to walk again and again - and again after many surgeries; and when channeled into my work at the VA as a champion for veterans, it helped to transform lives.

The down side of this belief is that I had trouble walking away from situations that did not serve me. During my meditation this morning I reflected on what does it mean "does not serve me"? It's a phrase we kick around a lot these days. I thought about the word serve. Are the choices I am making nourish me? Do they make me smile and bring joy into my life? Or conversely, are they choices that are an entanglement from days gone by.

The seeds of not valuing my worth were planted after I contracted paralytic polio and then grew into unwieldy weeds, if you will, with the fertilizer of 9 years of violence. Yes, I am smiling with that image. I weeded that plot of the garden of my life. In its place I put down my roots of self love, compassion, kindness and tenderness.

As I look back on choices I made since retirement, I can understand what drove me to hang in there until the often times bitter end of a situation.

But no more!

If something doesn't feel right and is not going to serve me, I, as gracefully as I can, exit stage left.

I take more time for stillness and meditation these days allowing my body to finally heal...and to listen to the promptings of my heart. The time in stillness gives rise to the flow of creativity. And I no longer worry about having something to do with my time. The Universe is always setting choices before me. I'm also learning how to enjoy Being in my life now without necessarily needing to do anything.

This summer I have been taking note of the warm sun. I make a special mental note of how wonderful it feels to go to Aquatics Therapy in shorts and a t shirt and not needing to dry my hair or the joy of running in one layer of running clothes.

I move my "office" around the yard to soak up the sun and the fresh air knowing that here in New England the Fall and Winter are right around the corner.

I'm taking the advice to my younger and not so younger self to work to stay present and enjoy these precious moments to serve myself well and then serve the world.




"Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.



"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

"Love Letters" and Voices of Hope

When my dear friend (and everybody's dear friend it seems) Jordan Rich posted on Facebook that he was going to co-star in "Love Letters" to benefit Voices of Hope, I immediately went to the North Shore Music Theater's website and bought tickets for my husband and me.



Voices of Hope are a group of "Ordinary people on an extraordinary mission," as they raise money to find a cure for cancer. Most recently, monies raised by Voices of Hope, and the money raised from the performances of "Love Letters," are going to the Henri & Belinda Termeer Center for Targeted Therapies at the Mass General Cancer Center.

The Henri and Belinda Termeer Center for Targeted Therapies offers new hope to patients and their families at the Massachusetts General Hospital Cancer Center and beyond, as the center defines the future of cancer therapy.

Led by Keith T. Flaherty, MD, a renowned expert in personalized cancer medicine and melanoma specialist, the Termeer Center offers a comprehensive translational research program to speed the discovery and delivery of new targeted therapies to patients with early and advanced stage cancers.

The Termeer Center brings together cutting-edge research resources and provides a foundation for
collaborations among physicians and investigators from a broad spectrum of biomedical disciplines, resulting in a rapidly expanding arsenal of weapons against cancer. Leading specialists from the Cancer Center’s 23 disease centers participate in the Termeer Center by enrolling their patients in its fast-growing portfolio of Phase I, Phase II and Phase III clinical trials.

"Love Letters," a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize, is a two person play by A.R. Gurney. "Love Letters" takes audience members on a journey through the lives of free-spirited Melissa Gardner and the conservative Andrew Makepeace Ladd III — lifelong friends who share their most intimate thoughts and feelings through the letters written to each over their lifetime. The New York Times reported that there is talk of a revival of "Love Letters" for the 2014 Fall Broadway Theater season.

The Backstage Bistro, part of the North Shore Music Theater, is located just off of 128. The ambiance is delightful inside and outside.


We were greeted at the door by Ed Siegal, Vice President and Treasurer of Voices of Hope asking us how we heard about the performance. His passion is infectious as he shared with us about Voices of Hope and how proud he was of his wife's coming out from behind the curtain to perform this week and next in "Love Letters."

There is casual summer dining available and service begins at 5:30pm. We had dinner before the show and told our waitress we don't drink. She said that wasn't a problem and offered us non alcoholic beverages as well as a dessert menu. She said that if we had just eaten, we could always opt to have dessert at intermission when food and beverage service would resume.

Here is our date night selfie that we took before the show:



Two envelopes with LL in calligraphy contained our programs and information about Voices of Hope. Since the play focuses in part on the lost art of letter writing, it was a delightful touch to have the programs presented in this way complete with a small heart sticker, simulating sealing wax. I was transported back in time before the lights were even dimmed.



I had not done any research on the play before the performance. I'm so glad that I did not know the synopsis of the play so that I could ride the waves of emotions as Jordan, and his co-star and Executive Artistic Director for Voices of Hope, Dana Siegal bring their characters to life through the love letters they wrote to each other over 50 years.





When you leave a musical still humming the score, you know you've had an enjoyable theatrical experience. I can still hear the echoes of Jordan and Dana's voices as they bring Gurney's characters of Melissa Gardner and Andrew Makepeace Ladd III to life.

There are performances on August 7, 8 and 9 at 8:00pm. Get your tickets today and fall in love with "Love Letters" and Voices of Hope.

The Best Time

Sometimes I have the best time on a run and it doesn't matter what the time is on the clock. Sometimes I have had the best time on the clock but it's not always been my best run where I've had the best time.

Today I had the best time AND the best time!

Next Sunday I will take my place at the starting line of the inaugural Bill Rodgers 5K Run/Walk for Prostate Cancer. It's the 14th annual Prostate Cancer Walk now joined with the Bill Rodgers 5K.

I wrote about overcoming my pre race jitters in Present - Give Yourself the Gift of Peace.

One of the best ways I know to overcome pre race jitters is to get out on the course and run it. The course is the same course as the Heartbreak Hill Half Marathon and Festival Weekend's 5K. Tom knew the course well and while I wasn't familiar with the specifics of the course, I'd run parts of the course many, many times during training runs.



The day was warm and rainy.

The course starts off with a downhill. I was running at a nice even pace. We came to the uphill on Comm Ave and I channeled my inner Boston Marathon finisher until we got to the corner of Beacon Street and Cleveland Circle at about mile 1 and change. I stopped for a water break. The next part of the course is nice and flat set against the scenic Reservoir. There was a gentle rain falling and many many runners were out on this first Saturday in August.

Next up, the huge hill up Beacon Street. In the middle of the hill I thought to myself, "This is never going to end." What a wonderful metaphor for life. In the middle of an uphill climb, we feel as though we are never going to get to the top. I kept a strong and steady pace feeling fully present and balanced in my body.

I celebrated once we got to the top of the hill knowing it was all downhill from there.

I began to run. Tom asked me what I was doing.

"I left a little in the tank," I replied smiling and sweating.

I could feel myself overheating so I dumped some water on my head. I poured it on to the imaginary finish line.

I knew I had the best time but did I have the best time?

I checked my Nike+. Yes indeed - I sure did. The best 5K time since April of 2013 when I returned to running after a two year hiatus.

My first mile split was 15'12" and my average pace was 15'24". That's with an elevation of 221'.

I don't know what the day will hold for me next Sunday but I do know that today, I had the best time!




"Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.



"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

Impatience = I'm Patient

During yesterday's massage treatment at Sollievo Massage and Bodywork, I let out a huge sigh. My therapist asked me if I was doing okay. I replied, "I know I can't force anything. That's counterproductive." I could hear his smile as I shared this. I went on to say that I just want to feel peace in my body but I know there are still layers of violence that need healing. "Yes," he replied as he continued the work, and he went on to say, "It's a marathon Mary. Be patient. Give yourself time." I could hear and feel the compassion in his voice as he used the analogy I used as I shared my reframing of managing energy to that of training for the marathon of my life.

At the end of the session I said, "Maybe all we get is moments of peace." He suggested that the moments of peace get strung together into what seem like longer and longer moments of peace.

I am deeply grateful for the healing that has happened in my life. I am blessed that I have finally found my way to a mind/body therapist that works with me to support my strength training and running and with whom I can finally heal the pain from my past. I feel more optimistic about my healing journey than ever before. And how amazing that I am building strength, confidence and jumping for joy at the Aquatics Therapy program at Spaulding Rehab.

But it does take patience!

And what is patience?



Just like in running a marathon, you don't look at the miles left to run, you look at the miles you have already run, I took an inventory during this morning's meditation noting where healing has already happened. The chronic pain in my IT band and right knee, along with the sense of heaviness in my right leg is resolved. With proper pacing, I have more endurance and have worked out a schedule to get household chores done with help in the relay from my husband. I have more energy flowing through me and have an overall sense of vibrancy and appreciation for my life. I feel contentment regardless of what may or may not be happening in my life. The brain fog of trauma and post polio is gone. I experience clarity, am more in touch with my Spirit and my power and strength and a sense of peace and acceptance in my heart. I know where my body still needs healing and it's okay. I create the optimal healing environment for myself.



When talking about patience, the words equanimity and stillness come to my mind. Nothing can be forced or agitated through impatience:



There was a moment last week at Walden Pond when I bent down to tie my shoe. I moved in a new way and felt as though nothing had ever happened to me. I felt free and natural in my body. I asked my husband out loud, "Do you think it's possible that I can live and be and move in ways that I am healed and feel as though nothing ever happened to me?"

Well of course it's possible. I experienced it in that moment. Just as there are moments of peace in my body to string together, there are moments of feeling free and unencumbered by my past in my body. Experiencing those moments is winning the Olympic Gold in the marathon of my life. I am patient as I continue to heal step by step, mile by mile knowing that the finish line has come into view.




"Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.



"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.