Healing, Hope and Possibility: #onerun

Showing posts with label #onerun. Show all posts

Monday, August 11, 2014

A Post Race Celebration Surprise

On Sunday morning I told Tom during my pre race breakfast, "This isn't business. It's personal." I knew that yesterday's race was a very important part of my healing journey. I'm usually very much out there in social media land and in real life but before the race, I felt that I had a piece of soul work to do and suddenly felt this intense need for privacy. I thought that today's race was something I had to do alone even though of course Tom would be with me stride for stride.

I didn't post on Facebook before we left for the race. I turned inward.

But the horse was already out of the barn and I was stunned when Race Director Alain Ferry greeted me with an extended hug of support and wanted to know about my PR intention for the day. He looked deep into my eyes when we were talking and wanted to know why I chose 47:00 minutes for my PR. He said, "Well I hope when you get back here the clock says 47:00 minutes or better." I had no idea Alain had taken my challenge to his heart.

I decided to check in on Facebook and right before gun time, my friend Jess posted a note of support and encouragement. I turned inward again getting focused on my goal. It touched my heart to feel her love and support. I've seen how Jess gets people through their races with her heart and lending her energy when the tank seems to be empty.

When Alain rode up on his bicycle and said, "Oh there you are," Tom and I both said that we thought he was just coming out to check on the back of the packers and walkers still out on the course.

When he turned around I realized he came out looking for me to cheer me onto the finish.

As the runner's fog cleared from those final minutes of my race, I remember Alain on his bike riding along in front of us cheering me on. "Come on Mary. You can do this," and counting down the time.

In that moment I realized that even though this was a deeply personal moment for me, I am/was and have never been alone on this journey. There was a crowd gathered who were cheering me on. The energy, love and support drew me to the finish line along with my own fierceness to dig deep and reach my goal.

As we were hydrating and enjoying a post race orange with sticky hands...

"Hi Mary. I'm Phil Lipof from WCVB," he said extending his hand in greeting.

I was somewhat taken aback and apologized for not being able to shake his hand...

He smiled and said, "Oh no worries. Alain just told me your story and I am so inspired by you. I would like to share your story right before the awards ceremony if that's okay with you. I'm a reporter so I need to get the story from you."

I told him about my journey with polio and post polio and how I'd stopped running after my nephew's suicide. Alain had told him how the Boston Marathon bombings and the #onerun got me back on the roads so we picked up the story from there.

We snapped this photo:

He told me what he was going to say never telling me that this was going to happen:

He got me. He understood my challenge even though we'd talked for oh maybe 5 minutes. I felt so honored and celebrated but this is not just about me. This is about celebrating what is possible and the ability of us all to not only survive but to thrive as we meet challenges head on. It's about having the courage to start and to start over and over again and putting it all on the line to see what we are made of.

Alain told me that it was a very special moment for him as a race director to look at me and see me begin to cry as I was coming into the finish and then see this look come over my face of sheer determination as I dug deep to meet the challenge of the PR I had set for myself. My husband Tom, Phil, Alain, Bill Rodgers and the people I was blessed to meet yesterday gave me so many special and unexpected moments that will now fuel my journey.

What an incredible surprise to have a post race celebration filled with love and joy so that others could hear my message of healing, hope and possibility.

"Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.

"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

Sunday, August 10, 2014

One Moment in Time - Race Report Bill Rodgers 5K Run/Walk to Benefit Prostate Cancer

I was open to whatever it was my body was going to be able to do today. My mantra for today's race was light and joy. I wanted to feel light and joy in my body. I wanted to thoroughly enjoy the day. I was amazed that I slept well and did not have the usual pre race jitters. I had a good breakfast of a bagel, oatmeal, banana and orange juice. What a luxury to be able to get up at 6:45am on a race day and drive 10 minutes to the start of the race.

I had a sense of trust that this was going to be a good day.

I had no idea how good of a day I would have.

When we arrived race director Alain Ferry of RaceMenu greeted us. He had been following my blog posts about my intention to PR for the race. He gave me the warmest hug and asked me to remind him what my goal for today's race was. He joined me in my intention to see the clock at 47:00 or better.

I reconnected with Bill Rodgers who remembered me and my story from Hyannis as well as an email I had sent him after meeting him.

Pre race announcements talked about the importance of supporting research, early detection and treatment for Prostate Cancer. Alain asked for a show of hands of those running affected by cancer. There was an astounding number of hands in the crowd that were raised. Bill Rodgers shared how he is a prostate cancer survivor and it is the #2 leading cause of cancer deaths among American men. We need to pay as much attention to prostate cancer for men as we do for breast cancer for women. In his pre race remarks Bill Rodgers said that running and walking is a simple little sport but we as Americans can use it to change the world. He shared with me before the race as he introduced us to his girlfriend Karen that she is a breast cancer survivor. She won in her age group and after the race she told me that she started running in her 40's after being diagnosed with breast cancer. While waiting for the portapotty, I met a woman whose hair had just grown back after radiation and chemo. She wants to run Boston next year. I shared my story with her. Everyone has a story.

And then it was gun time and time for me to write another chapter in my story.

We started at the front of the pack with Bill Rodgers off to our left. I went out fast running through the Boston College campus where 30 years ago I received my Masters in Social Work. The field took off and I stayed to my race plan. We'd run the downhill and I'd run for as long as I could and then move into race walking. When we got to the rolling hills of Commonwealth Avenue, I race walked. The sun was bright and the day was heating up. Fortunately there was no humidity and we could go on the sidewalk for shade. We brought frozen water bottles with us that I used for hydration and to keep myself cool.

Mile 1 - 14:33 pace. I was blown away by my time but I knew that anything can happen over the next two point one miles.

Tom kept checking in with me. How was I feeling? Did anything hurt? I didn't talk much which is very unusual for me and I was breathing hard. I had a single minded goal but I was running from the inside out.

In my training runs I had been stopping to take a "water break". I slowed my pace at times but kept moving forward. We stopped for about 30 seconds at the water stop and then time to tackle the hill with a 221' elevation.

Mile 2 - time was almost 30 minutes.

Okay I think I can. I think I can. I've got this. I can do this.

Tom said to me "What do we do with hills?"

"We eat them for breakfast," I managed to get out.

To the top of Beacon Street and a right onto College Road.

A right onto Commonwealth Avenue heading toward the finish.

Alain comes out on his bike, "Oh there you are. "Come on you're almost there."

I was hot and the tank was getting empty.

As we headed toward the finish he told me I had less than a minute for my PR.

People gathered and were cheering me on.

Alain was just on the other side of the finish line.

I sprinted to the finish and the finish clock read 46:57 but chip time was 46:53!

I knew in my heart and soul that I crossed more than a finish line today. As I told Alain, I reclaimed my life today. The essence of who I am and what I am all about took center stage.

It's been one hell of a journey back since my nephew's suicide in March of 2011. Thanks to Alain and the #onerun on 5/25/13, I knew I had to come back to running. And then I realized it was more than coming back to running. It was setting a goal and challenging myself again. It was opening up to see what my body could do and leaving nothing on the roads. It was about testing my mettle and letting go of fear.

At the last race I ran before taking a 2 year running hiatus, my time was 46:57. The first race I ever ran, the Corrib Pub Run 5K in 2008 was 51:52. This year I ran a 48:03 at this year's Corrib Pub Run. In other races I was finishing between 48-49 minutes.

Last week, when Tom and I ran the course I ran it in 47:48. I figured why not go for 47:00 on race day? I set the intention in my heart, with my massage therapist, with my husband and then with Alain. I posted on facebook and received a message from Jess Lanzoni right before gun time, "goooooooo Mary go!! that PR is YOURS!". I blared One Moment in Time during breakfast this morning.

Someone posted this video from Billy Mills yesterday:

Alain shared with me that he didn't expect to find us as far up on Comm. Ave as close to the finish line as he did. He was concerned about the heat and he was coming to provide some support. But when he saw how close we were to the finish, he wanted that PR for me as much as I did. I felt as though I were being pulled into the vortex of the finish line by his loving energy and all those cheering me on.

"I saw you start to cry and then I could see a look come across your face and you dug deep during that sprint."

During that final sprint, Tom was letting me set the pace and could tell I was in the zone. Tom wept with me when we crossed the finish line. We both knew that I left a lot of pain, fear and doubt out on the course and in its wake there is a surge of confidence, strength, courage and healing.

Gratitude fills my heart for facebook friends who I met for the first time at today's race who cheered me on and took photos. And to Alain who was there to celebrate and tend to me post race. He ran and got me an ice water and made sure I got in the shade. To Tom who has been there for me on every step and every stride of this incredible journey. Today was one moment in time - many moments in time that will remain imprinted on my heart forever.

Tomorrow's blog will talk about my post race surprise!

"Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.

Friday, August 8, 2014

It's More Than a Race....

I've been mulling over in my mind, what is it about Sunday's race that seems to have so much emotion for me. Why did I choose this race to aim for a PR?

My friend Bonnie posted this to my wall on Facebook last night:

It all came together for me. The last time I heard J Alain Ferry at the start of a race was on 5/25/13.

From my memoir:
5/25/13

The moving pre-race ceremony began including 30 seconds of silence for those who lost their lives in the bombings. There was music and inspirational speeches and not a dry eye in the crowd as the church choir from where 8-year-old Martin Richard who was killed in the blast, made his first communion, sang the National Anthem. Tom and I had our arms around each other. Everyone was in a spiritual embrace.

And then we were off crossing the one mile to go marker in Kenmore Square where four years ago, Tom, our daughter Ruth Anne and I ran toward the finish line. I ran the 2009 Boston Marathon for those who couldn't and for those who were told they shouldn't run or would never be able to run again. Back then I was delivering a message of healing, hope and possibility. Today I was one with the survivors knowing they have a long road ahead for them but knowing that they, like me, would be able to go the distance.

We got to Hereford Street and I took a deep breath, as I knew we were going back to the Mandarin Oriental Hotel and passing The Forum where the second bomb exploded. As we passed in front of the Mandarin, we stopped for a brief moment to give our thanks to the staff who ensured our safety. The two doormen who had been there on Marathon Monday while we watched the race before going upstairs to join the Spaulding Rehab party were there. How healing and wonderful to see them, express our gratitude and be back on a part of Boylston Street I was afraid to visit.

I told Tom I was ready to sprint to the finish line. I said a prayer as we ran by The Forum. I sobbed as the crowds were cheering and we were surrounded by runners with their bib numbers from Marathon Monday and thousands of people who had been touched by the tragic events of April 15. At the finish line we shared stories with one another. We hugged. We cried. We healed.

Despite the cold and the rain, the love and energy of the community kept us warm. The event organizers did an amazing job at honoring the victims of the bombing and the survivors – “You are out there to run for those who can’t.”

That’s why I ran the marathon in ’09 – and here I was running the last mile with a deep connection to the survivors of the bombing knowing in every fiber of my being what it’s like to work to regain mobility and to recover from trauma where you face death. There were so many emotions as we listened to the pre-race ceremony speakers and then as we reclaimed Boylston Street as our own.

As I look back on it, I remember how hard it was for me to run. I pushed myself though. It was the first time I ran since September of 2011. I could hear my body ask me, “Who do you think you are, Bill Rodgers?” Take it easy! You haven’t run in a very long time."

I "just happened" to meet Alain at Heartbreak Hill Half Marathon Festival Weekend. He invited me to Sunday's race giving me post cards to spread the word about the event.

Returning to the roads with the #onerun, I realized how important it was for me to get back to running and the running community. I knew how important it was for me to find my way back to myself after my nephew's suicide and taking a detour on my healing path.

I am so blessed that I was able to let go of people and practices that were not supporting me on my healing journey and found my way to the healing path I am now on.

Sunday's race is to benefit Prostate Cancer. We are all survivors of something in this life we live. I have nothing to prove yet I have everything to prove to myself. I've worked hard to get back to running and to experience the fullness of my body while living with the late effects of paralytic polio and healing in the wake of 9 years of violence as a child and teenager.

I am running not just for myself on Sunday but for all those who were told they couldn't, shouldn't or for whatever reason, cannot run right now. I know what a gift it is to go full out when the gun goes off and see what this body can do.

And while it may be just be a small 5K race on a Sunday afternoon at Boston College, for me, it's so much more than a race.

I chronicle the first 7 years of my healing journey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma in my memoir, "Coming Home:A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" available along with all of my books on Amazon. I donate 50% of royalty payments to The One Fund to benefit survivors of 4/15/13.

Monday, March 10, 2014

The Joy of Running

Three years ago, if you would have told me that I'd be writing a blog today about the joy of running, I would have thought you were crazy! My running career began at the age of 53 and I thought it was a short lived running career because of the late effects of paralytic polio. On my seven year healing odyssey, I realized that it was not just the late effects of paralytic polio that took a toll on me mind, body and spirit, but 9 years of unrelenting trauma.

I moved mountains with a mustard seed of faith and trained for and ran the 2009 Boston Marathon as a mobility impaired runner.

I had a "relapse". I went back into outpatient rehab and returned to the roads with a vengeance in 2010. By 2011, and in the wake of my nephew's suicide on 3/4/11, I crashed again.

On 4/15/13, we had to evacuate from the Mandarin Oriental Hotel where we were watching the 2013 Boston Marathon with Spaulding Rehab's Race for Rehab team and get to our car about 3 miles from the Hotel.

Tom and I went on to do the #onerun on 5/25th and I realized that it was time for me to return to running and the running community. I learned that once you are a member of the running community, you are always a member of the running community even if you are not able to be out there running.

It was hard work to begin again and train for the Brookline Symphony Orchestra 5K on 9/29.

Seven months later, I am feeling the joy of running a 5K distance. I'm planning to run the Tufts 10K in October and 5-7 miles challenges me but doesn't overwhelm me. As I said in "Find Your Distance", find and celebrate your distance.

By not putting any pressure on myself to run beyond a 10K distance, and by signing up for mostly 5K races, I can feel the joy and magic of running. I enjoy being outdoors again and feeling the joy of moving with relative ease in my body yet I can also experience the joy that comes with a challenge like running on Heartbreak Hill, increasing my distance up to a 10K and working on my time. As the days get warmer and the earth comes back to life after a long, brutal New England winter, I feel the joy of Spring returning. I know how blessed I am to once again be able to experience the joy of running!

Healing, Hope and Possibility