#flashbackfriday My Runner's Scrapbook - "Where you stumble and fall, there lies your treasure."

I was feeling sadness around leaving my running and the running community for almost two years. Truth be told, I did not have a relapse of post polio symptoms. The modality that was supposed to be helping me heal, KMI Structural Integration, instead was creating confusion in my body.There was a lot of emotional and physical damage done through the work that joyfully I am now able to heal. As a trauma survivor, I had a wonderful way of believing something was good for me when in fact it could not have been more wrong for me. While it's true I live with the late effects of having contracted paralytic polio and the effects of trauma, I was at the top of my running game. There was still much more that needed to heal and strengthen but needing to stop running was not because of the progression of post polio syndrome. I was vulnerable after my nephew's suicide in March of 2011 and they preyed on my vulnerability.

Tom reminded me last night about how I cried after one of the first Aquatics Therapy classes at Spaulding Rehab. "This is where I belong," I said with tears streaming down my face. "I never belonged on a yoga mat in that studio. It was just so wrong for me." The people who I followed were master manipulators and convinced me that running was bad for me. Because I wasn't allowing my body to be as it needed to be, I did not have the energy or the desire to run. I remember the moment I stumbled off of my healing path and bought into something that a private yoga teacher said to me. "Are you working with your bodyworker on this structural imbalance?" "I don't have a bodyworker right now I replied. "Well then you are going to see my teacher. He can help you fix this."

As Joseph Campbell says:



Rather than focus on the detour and my sadness, I want to celebrate my running journey and finding my greatest treasure last Sunday with a PR at the Bill Rodgers 5K Run/Walk for Prostate Cancer as I remembered and reclaimed who I am!

Let's begin with my early training run that was chronicled in The Brookline Tab, "Run Don't Walk" was the title of the article. Don't you just love my running threads? It was shortly after this photo that I went to Marathon Sports and bought the proper running attire to go with my first pair of running shoes ever.


My first race ever - The Corrib Pub Run 5K on 6/1/2008. My pace was a 16:44 minute/mile. It was an accomplishment to have run for 40 continuous minutes at that point in my training.


The Marathon Sports 5 Miler July 2008 and finishing last yet feeling like a champion for not quitting despite the heat and having all the polio demons rear their head:


Tufts 10K October 2008, "Running with God" as I wrote about in an article for Cape Healing Arts Magazine. My daughter and I ran our first 10K race together and finished with a time of 1:26:14. A 13:53 minute/mile pace!


And who could ever forget the Tough Ten Mile Turkey Trot in November of 2008. The entry fee was 10 canned goods/person. The timing method was popsicle sticks. The hills were brutal but Team McManus was filled with joy. Oh yes and did I mention it was fareezing cold that day?


My first Half Marathon in Hyannis. How lucky was I to be inspired and encouraged by Bill Rodgers and Frank Shorter.


And then Boston 2009:


I did have to take a time out from running for more physical therapy and treatment of cervical spine disease after the marathon. I could no longer strength train with my personal trainer. But you can't keep a runner down for long and by summer of 2010, I was running again and training for Tufts. I had a friend who had never run a 10K. It was time to give back. We trained together and crossed the finish line of the 2010 Tufts 10K with a time of 1:36:10. We had the best time together and what a joy to help someone cross the finish line of their first 10K.


I was racing a 5K a month and by December of 2010 had my best time ever at the Jingle Bell 5K with a 13:43 minute/mile pace:


My friend and I ran the Hyannis 10K in 2011 and bested our Tufts time finishing with a 14:30 minute/mile pace for a time of 1:30:05. Tom was training for Boston and ran the Half. Here we are with Dick Hoyt.


I ran two more races in 2011 and could feel that I was losing my edge and my joy of running. By September of 2011, I called it quits....

Reunited and it felt so good at the Feaster Five Expo in November of 2013


and out on the course


I trained during that grueling winter through the Polar Vortex and found my strength in Aquatics Therapy.

What a joy to celebrate my race-iversary at the Corrib Pub 5K with Tom and my dear friends the Feeney Sisters


They cheered me onto a strong finish:


I wasn't planning to run any other races until the Tufts 10K, but the Universe had other plans for me with the Bill Rodgers 5K Run/Walk for Prostate Cancer where I was once again inspired and encouraged by four time Boston Marathon champion Bill Rodgers

and went on to run a 5K PR of 46:53 at a pace of 15:06 since my return to the roads


And a post race celebration that will live forever in my heart


But I don't rest on my laurels. With a 5K PR behind me, tomorrow I begin training for Tufts 10K 2014. The time to beat 1:36:10. I'll have my daughter to pace me and will know that my husband and Tom Licciardello will be waiting for me at the finish. I've begun to imagine the magic of the day knowing that there are going to be many more wonderful memories to add to my runner's scrapbook. And as for that stumble into the abyss, well it happens but I found my gold!

And to those who told me that I had to correct my arches, stand this way, move that way; this is the proper alignment. To those who believe that change comes from the outside in and there is something to fix. To those who told me I was out of balance that my thoracic spine did not have enough movement and on and on it went..... To those who humiliated me, mocked me and used me for their own personal gain in the name of helping me. To all of you - this is my response:

“The true runner is a very fortunate person. He has found something in him that is just perfect.” ~George Sheehan




"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

"Hooray for PR's!" I loved what this body could do!

I ran not only for me though --

I remember when I was one of those who couldn't run.


Alain Ferry, Race Director for the Bill Rodgers 5K Run/Walk for Prostate Cancer asked me what my times had been and what I had set as my PR for Sunday's race. He paused when I said I'd been running about 49 minutes for my 5K runs. Taking off two minutes can be a lofty goal. I told him that, during my training run out on the course, I'd done 47 and change for a 15'24" pace. 47:00 minutes on race day would be the way to go.

I decided to look up my race results which I had not been paying close attention to. I had tossed the idea of going for any PR's since my return to the roads on 5/25/13. I was happy to be out running again and just finishing was enough of an initial goal.

The last race I ran before bidding a temporary farewell to running was:

Brookline Symphony Orchestra 5K September 2011
46:57 15:09 59 01-98 59 F 13 Mary McManus

And here are the results for my first race after coming back to the roads:

Brookline Symphony Orchestra 5K September 2013
47:50 15:26 3 55-64 91 F 85 Mary McManus

I had the best time (not reflected on the time clock) on Thanksgiving Day at the Feaster Five:

Feaster Five 5K November 28, 2013
49:43 16:01 Mary McManus

What a joy to celebrate my Race-iversary at the Corrib Pub Run which was my very first road race ever in June, 2008 when I ran a 51:52 16:44 minute/mile pace

Corrib Pub Run 2014 5K June 1, 2014
48:03.0 15:30/K 406 60 F 22 60-69

It was a hot and sweaty evening and I struggled to make it through the:

Father Bullock 5K 2014 June 8, 2014
0:48:06 MARY MCMANUS F 60 69 CHESTNUT HILL, MA 15:31

And then not only did I PR since my return to the roads but I beat my time by 4 seconds from the last race I ran almost 3 years ago!

Bill Rodgers 5K Run/Walk for Prostate Cancer August 10, 2014
22 46:53 15:06 F60+ 6/7

I loved the feeling of racing and having a goal beyond just finishing a race. I felt alive and present in each moment. I had to be fully present in my body or could have easily tipped the balance and gone over the edge rather than working right up to my edge. I embraced the discomfort to see what my body could do when I left nothing on the roads and trust in my body's ability to heal and recover and be better and stronger than it was before I raced to my PR.

When I turned that corner heading toward the finish line on the Boston College Campus, I turned a corner in my healing journey. I have a new feeling of confidence and strength in my body and in my Being. I have reclaimed my life as my own transcending that detour I took away from running and delving into the healing modality of KMI Structural Integration. I ran hard and loved every moment of the race. To have Phil Lipof, MC from WCVB TV validate my efforts and to be celebrated by Phil, Alain and the beautiful community of runners, walkers and volunteers was the icing on the PR cake.

As my friend Jess Lanzoni said on Facebook, "Hooray for PR's!" I am deeply grateful and I so loved to discover what this body, heart and soul could do when put to the test.

"Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.



"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

A Heart Filled With Gratitude - It Takes a Village

After having the best time on my training run for the Bill Rodgers 5K Walk/Run for Prostate Cancer, I felt something deep in my soul that told me the next step on my moving forward in my healing journey was to set a goal for a PR for the race.

My husband Tom was totally on board for the goal but told me, and I thoroughly agreed, that I needed to run from the inside out. He made sure that I got lots of rest, hydration and good fueling as the days led up to race day. He stayed with me, checked in with me and made sure that I was running from the inside out especially given how the day was quickly getting hot. He told me that he was glad to hear when I needed to slow down and yet after the race he told me that I didn't really slow down all that much. There were moments during the race when I really wanted to slow down but I told myself, come on you can do this. It's show time. It's race day. Let's see what this body can do. I could feel the presence of my personal trainer, Janine who believed in me before I could believe in myself and my beloved coach Domenick D'Amico who always believed that I could and would go the distance in the Boston Marathon.

Tom told me that if I would have barfed on the course it would have been game over. But I knew just how to take myself to the edge and back down. I left nothing on the roads and nothing in the tank though.

Tom drew an ice bath for me when we got home and made sure that even though my adrenaline was still pumping that I rest. He kept checking in with me to see how I was doing. After all, it had been almost 4 years since I pushed myself to a PR. I did have bronchial spasms but rather than see them as pathology, I used the analogy of blowing out the carburetor on your car with a fast drive on the highway. It felt good to clean out my lungs. And everything was and still is so sore yet nothing really hurt because I know I did right by me with the race I ran. I feel the strength of having worked my body hard.

In the days leading up to the race, I was having a conversation with the Universe, as Tom likes to say, in my blog and on Facebook.

It was "only a 5K" yet so many of my friends understood what a PR meant to me after all of my hard work and dedication to reclaiming my body and my life in this most recent part of my healing journey. I am so grateful for the Facebook posts cheering me on in cyberspace. I carried the energy and intention with me on race day.

I had never met Kathleen Healy Fencil in person. We met through our mutual inspirational friend Randy Pierce on Facebook. She was moved and inspired by my story. I am moved by hers. She started running at 66 years old and 3 years later, at the age of 69 will run her first half marathon at the end of September. When she saw volunteers were needed for the race, she signed up. She found me before the race through my daughter Ruth Anne who was also volunteering. She snapped photos and offered words of encouragement as we came down Chestnut Hill Avenue. Unbeknownst to me at the time, she was snapping photos of Tom and me coming into the finish. She continued to share in the after glow of my PR on facebook and shared my posts with her circle of friends.

The village grows.

The volunteers out on the course were amazing! Kathleen's husband, Tom, was at the timer for the 1 mile marker. My Tom had not realized that we had met before the race. When we saw the time at 14:33 we were both amazed. He told Tom what an incredible time that was for me especially since I am a survivor of polio. Tom gave us the warmest smile telling us he knew and sent us on our way.

So often as a back of the pack runner, volunteers at a water stop are getting ready to pack up by the time we arrive. Not in this race and not these volunteers. The water stop was in high gear; a welcome sight as the day was getting hot. Tom told them that I am a polio survivor. My hands shook as I drank the water; a sign that my system was being challenged - no big deal and they offered me more water and wished me good luck on the rest of my race. I dumped a cup of water over my head and we went on to tackle the hill. They were fully present to support the runners and I thanked them for being there.

I was so blessed to have the love and support of Alain, the Race Director. His cheering me on joined with my energy to dig deep and meet my goal. Yet even if I hadn't reached my goal on Sunday, he expressed deep love and respect for me for even taking on the challenge that does not change with the turnover of the clock. Those moments of when he came out on his bike to find us on the course and cheer me on the finish will forever remain in my heart.

And how amazing to be at the starting line with Bill Rodgers, four time Boston Marathon champion, a survivor of prostate cancer and one who took the road less traveled as a conscientious objector. Because it was a small field, there was no seeding. This was one of the very few races that I was able to be in the front of the pack at the start surrounded by fast runners.

For the past year, I have been so fortunate to participate in Aquatics Therapy at Spaulding Rehab. Under the guidance of wonderful therapists, I build core strength and endurance.

What a blessing to have found my way to a massage therapist at Sollievo Massage and Bodywork who uses the healing power of touch to help me heal mind, body and Spirit. I was able to set the intention for joy and lightness as I ran feeling a sense of freedom and strength that comes to the fore through the mind/body therapy sessions.

Even though it was ultimately just me and the road, and a PR was mine alone to achieve, the collective energy of the village - the helpers seen and unseen took me over the finish line with a miraculous time of 46:53.

My heart is full of gratitude to everyone who put out their energy, their support and the gift of their presence to help me reach my goal and move forward in my healing journey. It takes a loving, caring, supportive village to carry us toward our goals of being the best we can be and to be there when we fall short of our goals; to be there to join in the joyous celebrations and to tend to our wounds when we are hurt. I am so lucky and blessed to have found my way to this village. And one final thank you - to those who provided post race food and water. Thank you for being there with wonderful refreshment and for letting me use your bucket of ice on my legs and dumping it on my head to cool down after my race.



"Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.



"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

A Post Race Celebration Surprise

On Sunday morning I told Tom during my pre race breakfast, "This isn't business. It's personal." I knew that yesterday's race was a very important part of my healing journey. I'm usually very much out there in social media land and in real life but before the race, I felt that I had a piece of soul work to do and suddenly felt this intense need for privacy. I thought that today's race was something I had to do alone even though of course Tom would be with me stride for stride.

I didn't post on Facebook before we left for the race. I turned inward.

But the horse was already out of the barn and I was stunned when Race Director Alain Ferry greeted me with an extended hug of support and wanted to know about my PR intention for the day. He looked deep into my eyes when we were talking and wanted to know why I chose 47:00 minutes for my PR. He said, "Well I hope when you get back here the clock says 47:00 minutes or better." I had no idea Alain had taken my challenge to his heart.

I decided to check in on Facebook and right before gun time, my friend Jess posted a note of support and encouragement. I turned inward again getting focused on my goal. It touched my heart to feel her love and support. I've seen how Jess gets people through their races with her heart and lending her energy when the tank seems to be empty.

When Alain rode up on his bicycle and said, "Oh there you are," Tom and I both said that we thought he was just coming out to check on the back of the packers and walkers still out on the course.

When he turned around I realized he came out looking for me to cheer me onto the finish.

As the runner's fog cleared from those final minutes of my race, I remember Alain on his bike riding along in front of us cheering me on. "Come on Mary. You can do this," and counting down the time.

In that moment I realized that even though this was a deeply personal moment for me, I am/was and have never been alone on this journey. There was a crowd gathered who were cheering me on. The energy, love and support drew me to the finish line along with my own fierceness to dig deep and reach my goal.

As we were hydrating and enjoying a post race orange with sticky hands...

"Hi Mary. I'm Phil Lipof from WCVB," he said extending his hand in greeting.

I was somewhat taken aback and apologized for not being able to shake his hand...

He smiled and said, "Oh no worries. Alain just told me your story and I am so inspired by you. I would like to share your story right before the awards ceremony if that's okay with you. I'm a reporter so I need to get the story from you."

I told him about my journey with polio and post polio and how I'd stopped running after my nephew's suicide. Alain had told him how the Boston Marathon bombings and the #onerun got me back on the roads so we picked up the story from there.

We snapped this photo:



He told me what he was going to say never telling me that this was going to happen:



He got me. He understood my challenge even though we'd talked for oh maybe 5 minutes. I felt so honored and celebrated but this is not just about me. This is about celebrating what is possible and the ability of us all to not only survive but to thrive as we meet challenges head on. It's about having the courage to start and to start over and over again and putting it all on the line to see what we are made of.

Alain told me that it was a very special moment for him as a race director to look at me and see me begin to cry as I was coming into the finish and then see this look come over my face of sheer determination as I dug deep to meet the challenge of the PR I had set for myself. My husband Tom, Phil, Alain, Bill Rodgers and the people I was blessed to meet yesterday gave me so many special and unexpected moments that will now fuel my journey.

What an incredible surprise to have a post race celebration filled with love and joy so that others could hear my message of healing, hope and possibility.



"Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.



"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.