#flashbackfriday My Runner's Scrapbook - "Where you stumble and fall, there lies your treasure."

I was feeling sadness around leaving my running and the running community for almost two years. Truth be told, I did not have a relapse of post polio symptoms. The modality that was supposed to be helping me heal, KMI Structural Integration, instead was creating confusion in my body.There was a lot of emotional and physical damage done through the work that joyfully I am now able to heal. As a trauma survivor, I had a wonderful way of believing something was good for me when in fact it could not have been more wrong for me. While it's true I live with the late effects of having contracted paralytic polio and the effects of trauma, I was at the top of my running game. There was still much more that needed to heal and strengthen but needing to stop running was not because of the progression of post polio syndrome. I was vulnerable after my nephew's suicide in March of 2011 and they preyed on my vulnerability.

Tom reminded me last night about how I cried after one of the first Aquatics Therapy classes at Spaulding Rehab. "This is where I belong," I said with tears streaming down my face. "I never belonged on a yoga mat in that studio. It was just so wrong for me." The people who I followed were master manipulators and convinced me that running was bad for me. Because I wasn't allowing my body to be as it needed to be, I did not have the energy or the desire to run. I remember the moment I stumbled off of my healing path and bought into something that a private yoga teacher said to me. "Are you working with your bodyworker on this structural imbalance?" "I don't have a bodyworker right now I replied. "Well then you are going to see my teacher. He can help you fix this."

As Joseph Campbell says:



Rather than focus on the detour and my sadness, I want to celebrate my running journey and finding my greatest treasure last Sunday with a PR at the Bill Rodgers 5K Run/Walk for Prostate Cancer as I remembered and reclaimed who I am!

Let's begin with my early training run that was chronicled in The Brookline Tab, "Run Don't Walk" was the title of the article. Don't you just love my running threads? It was shortly after this photo that I went to Marathon Sports and bought the proper running attire to go with my first pair of running shoes ever.


My first race ever - The Corrib Pub Run 5K on 6/1/2008. My pace was a 16:44 minute/mile. It was an accomplishment to have run for 40 continuous minutes at that point in my training.


The Marathon Sports 5 Miler July 2008 and finishing last yet feeling like a champion for not quitting despite the heat and having all the polio demons rear their head:


Tufts 10K October 2008, "Running with God" as I wrote about in an article for Cape Healing Arts Magazine. My daughter and I ran our first 10K race together and finished with a time of 1:26:14. A 13:53 minute/mile pace!


And who could ever forget the Tough Ten Mile Turkey Trot in November of 2008. The entry fee was 10 canned goods/person. The timing method was popsicle sticks. The hills were brutal but Team McManus was filled with joy. Oh yes and did I mention it was fareezing cold that day?


My first Half Marathon in Hyannis. How lucky was I to be inspired and encouraged by Bill Rodgers and Frank Shorter.


And then Boston 2009:


I did have to take a time out from running for more physical therapy and treatment of cervical spine disease after the marathon. I could no longer strength train with my personal trainer. But you can't keep a runner down for long and by summer of 2010, I was running again and training for Tufts. I had a friend who had never run a 10K. It was time to give back. We trained together and crossed the finish line of the 2010 Tufts 10K with a time of 1:36:10. We had the best time together and what a joy to help someone cross the finish line of their first 10K.


I was racing a 5K a month and by December of 2010 had my best time ever at the Jingle Bell 5K with a 13:43 minute/mile pace:


My friend and I ran the Hyannis 10K in 2011 and bested our Tufts time finishing with a 14:30 minute/mile pace for a time of 1:30:05. Tom was training for Boston and ran the Half. Here we are with Dick Hoyt.


I ran two more races in 2011 and could feel that I was losing my edge and my joy of running. By September of 2011, I called it quits....

Reunited and it felt so good at the Feaster Five Expo in November of 2013


and out on the course


I trained during that grueling winter through the Polar Vortex and found my strength in Aquatics Therapy.

What a joy to celebrate my race-iversary at the Corrib Pub 5K with Tom and my dear friends the Feeney Sisters


They cheered me onto a strong finish:


I wasn't planning to run any other races until the Tufts 10K, but the Universe had other plans for me with the Bill Rodgers 5K Run/Walk for Prostate Cancer where I was once again inspired and encouraged by four time Boston Marathon champion Bill Rodgers

and went on to run a 5K PR of 46:53 at a pace of 15:06 since my return to the roads


And a post race celebration that will live forever in my heart


But I don't rest on my laurels. With a 5K PR behind me, tomorrow I begin training for Tufts 10K 2014. The time to beat 1:36:10. I'll have my daughter to pace me and will know that my husband and Tom Licciardello will be waiting for me at the finish. I've begun to imagine the magic of the day knowing that there are going to be many more wonderful memories to add to my runner's scrapbook. And as for that stumble into the abyss, well it happens but I found my gold!

And to those who told me that I had to correct my arches, stand this way, move that way; this is the proper alignment. To those who believe that change comes from the outside in and there is something to fix. To those who told me I was out of balance that my thoracic spine did not have enough movement and on and on it went..... To those who humiliated me, mocked me and used me for their own personal gain in the name of helping me. To all of you - this is my response:

“The true runner is a very fortunate person. He has found something in him that is just perfect.” ~George Sheehan




"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

Lost and Found

When Kathrine Switzer told her father she wanted to be a cheerleader, he said, "Life is to participate...not to spectate":





"We can either watch life from the sidelines, or actively participate. Either we let self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy prevent us from realizing our potential, or embrace the fact that when we turn our attention away from ourselves, our potential is limitless." - Christopher Reeve

It's ironic that after receiving the diagnosis of post polio syndrome in December of 2006, I realized that I needed to get off the sidelines of life and get in the game. Yes I had an award winning career as a VA social worker but I was dying inside. All the years of self-loathing and lugging my body around with me finally caught up with me.

I did the best I could and I certainly shower myself with love and compassion for getting through after contracting paralytic polio at the age of 5 and then, three years later, experiencing 9 years of unrelenting violence at the hands of family members.

Until everything broke down mind, body and Spirit, I couldn't turn my life around and begin to heal.



Writing poetry opened the door to my Spirit that lay quietly in hiding until it was safe to come out.

Of all things to visualize and imagine, I imagined myself running a 10K race even though I had never run a day in my life.

After I got a little stronger, I declared that I would run the 2009 Boston Marathon. I trained for over a year and with each run, with each race, with each mile, I found more and more of myself.

“The distance runner is mysteriously reconciling the separations of body and mind, of pain and pleasure, of the conscious and the unconscious. He is repairing the rent, and healing the wound in his divided self. He has found a way to make the ordinary extraordinary; the commonplace unique; the everyday eternal.”
― George Sheehan, Running & Being: The Total Experience

After my nephew's suicide, I lost myself again but I found my way back to running.

Running is my very own divining rod that keeps me connected, grounded and helps me to find my way home. Every time I lace up my running shoes I feel that expansiveness of my Being that takes me off of the sidelines and into the game of my life.




"Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.



"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

Running Is My Medicine - Stillness Is My Healing

I woke up yesterday morning and every bone in my body seemed to ache. My knees were cranky and creaky. There were several factors contributing to this pain and so I got still. I meditated. I sifted and sorted through feelings and images that needed my attention. I set an intention for feeling lightness and ease in my body and I breathed. I saw myself as healthy, whole and pain free. As I came out of my meditation, I moved slowly, stretching and began my day.

It is counter intuitive to want to go out on a run when you feel pain. I had 3 miles on my calendar so 3 miles it would be. I had my usual breakfast of oatmeal, banana, quinoa toast and OJ. It was raw but I refused to wear my running tights so donned my capris and put on layers. We (Tom, my partner in running and life and my coach) opted to go to Jamaica Pond.

I read Bill Rodgers Marathon Man after seeing him at the Hyannis Race Expo last year:



I shared my journey on the road to the Boston Marathon with him. In my book he wrote, "We are lifetime runners. Let's run forever."

Running came naturally to Bill. He had to work at the discipline of running in order to become the champion he is. Running does not come easily to me but my strong suit is discipline.

When I run around Jamaica Pond, I can feel his presence and hold the image of him chasing butterflies when he was a boy. Jamaica Pond was his go to place for training.

There were two women who were walking at a pretty good pace in front of us. I looked at Tom and asked him if he thought we could take them. We did and then he reminded me I needed to get back into a rhythm of my pace.

After our first lap, he had me stop and take a water break and catch my breath.

We resumed and soon the two women who we had passed were now way in front of us because we had taken a water break.

Could we take them again?

I increased my pace. I sprinted a little and wanted to take off but my right knee said that was a bad idea.

"Okay, I'll do it this way," I told Tom and did a fast break with race walking.

We passed them.

They passed us when we took another water break and got a huge lead on us.

I was going to let them go but I could see we were within reach again.

I poured on the speed and one last time, we passed them.

I had my fastest run since 5/9 when my pace for a 3.22 mile run was a 17'51"/mi pace. It was the first time since I began my running career 6 years ago, that I felt the thrill of racing. It was an imaginary opponent, and two very worthy opponents whom we thanked after we finished our run but I imagine that's how the champions feel when they are able to overtake their opponent and win the race. Yesterday it all came together for me and I finished with a 15'33"/mi pace; two minutes/mile off of my pace since I've returned to the roads in earnest. We never know what may happen from one run to another as I learned from reading Bill's book but it is an exhilarating feeling when it does all come together.

I felt that I was channeling Bill Rodgers on that run as I am training now in earnest for the Tufts 10K.

In 2011, after my nephew's suicide, I got away from running and the running community or should I say I let running get away from me.

I saw this from my friend Reno Stirrat on Facebook this morning and it captures how I feel about being a runner:


And I love this quote from John "The Penguin" Bingham about being a runner:
"I learned that the only requirement to be part of this wonderful group was to run. I didn't have to be fast. I didn't have to be great. I just had to run. And that's when running became not just something that I do but something that is a part of who I am." - John Bingham

Yesterday I went out really fast (for me). Tom was concerned that I went out too fast. I told him I wouldn't do this if it didn't feel right in my body. Somebody from 'another lifetime' posted something on Facebook that got me really fired up. Before we went out on the run, I blocked the person and cleaned out a few more Facebook contacts. I realized as I ran that I was leaving that part of me even farther behind me, embracing the person I am today.

As I used a combination of sprinting and race walking, I could feel the pain in my joints and in my bones dissolve.

Running is more than a workout for me. It's medicine for me; mind, body and Spirit. And then when I return to the stillness, I discover that I have taken yet another step on my healing journey.