My Tree - Part III

Back in April of 2011 I wrote a blog post about the tree outside my window. In June of 2012, I gave an update about my tree in My Tree - Part II - It's a Miracle.

“There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.” - Albert Einstein

As I watched the winds of Hurricane Sandy batter my tree I thought for sure there is no way she is going to survive this storm. Her branches bent with incredible grace and flexibility. Her roots held strong:

By contrast, there was a tree that by all appearances should have had no problem weathering the storm but sadly she was uprooted and fell to the ground:

We never know how or when the winds of life are going to blow. I do know that I can live and breathe, embracing the present moment feeling the miracle that my tree survived another storm.

Tree Pose - from "Songs of Freedom:Poems From a Healing Odyssey" now available on Amazon

Violent winds battered my limbs
strong roots held fast
I feared I might break
Divinity the sap coursing through my trunk
sustaining me.

Find my drishti
moving slowly
feel my balance
trauma turned my world upside down
but did not uproot me.

Standing strong
the storm now passed
as raised arms grow my tree
my Spirit rises
I bloom.

May all beings be happy and free!

From my heart to yours
With total love and deepest gratitude,
Mary

The Places That Scare You - Book Review

The Places That Scare You by Pema Chodron took me to places within myself that I was reluctant to visit. Yet these are the very practices she offers in order to become a boddhisattva (one who has the mind of enlightenment called bodhichitta) where we live in the present moment, cultivating the seed of kindness.

“Each time we drop our complaints and allow every day good fortune to inspire us, we enter the warrior's world,” writes Chodron. What are the places that scare us? Chodron takes us beyond the obvious universal fears we experience in our humanity to the more subtle fears that inhibit our true freedom; the illusion of separateness that manifests when we judge ourselves and another. Chodron offers us a guide to connect to the basic goodness that resides in every sentient being using her own stories to guide us to be patient, use humor, warmth and kindness as we inquire into our own patterns of thought and behavior. It takes a warrior spirit to go into the places that scare us; the essence of our very humanity and pain. At the heart of our pain and suffering, when we have the courage to abide with those experiences, however, is the tender spot, the sweet spot of loving kindness, compassion and love. She suggests that we soften rather than harden our hearts in response to the challenges life brings and enter into a state of groundlessness where everything we once held dear no longer has meaning.

Chodron awakens us to what causes our suffering. She offers meditation practices/aspirations and the activities of the boddhisatva warrior to take us out of our limiting beliefs and feelings to experience the limitless qualities of joy, loving kindness, compassion and equanimity. Suffering happens when we close our hearts with emotions such as jealousy. Suffering is the result of an aggressive mind. Reactions, strategies and story lines are what keep us all prisoners. Chodron invites us to abide with the physical sensations, appreciate the present moment and soften rather than harden our hearts to allow limitless joy – basic goodness to shine through.

Chodron shares with the reader a wonderful story about a cook at the Abbey where she resides. The cook was feeling unhappy and fed the gloom with her actions and thoughts growing darker and darker by the hour. To ventilate her feelings she baked chocolate chip cookies which she burned. Rather than dump the burned cookies, she stuffed them into her pockets and a backpack and went out for a walk. She questioned where is the beauty and magic she keeps hearing about when a little fox walked toward her. The fox sat down gazing up expectantly. She offered the fox her cookies and he ate them slowly and then trotted away. When she returned to the Abbey she said, “I learned today that life is very precious. Even when we're determined to block the magic, it will get through and wake us up.” The message that is consistent throughout The Places That Scare You is to remain in a place of loving kindness, compassion and patience for ourselves as we journey through life and then from this place we are able to open our hearts abiding with all the suffering, the joys and freedom that life has to offer.

Reading Pema Chodron's, The Places That Scare You has given me a new repertoire of awakening tools to help me continue to evolve out of my beliefs and stories that came with heartache and trauma to the tender hearted, joy filled, grateful Being I am in Truth; a fearless warrior with courage and patience to breathe fully into my life. It's a daily practice, a lifetime of hard work with the sweet rewards of living a life wholeheartedly, completely alive in freedom.

“This simple way of training with pleasure and pain allows us to use what we have, wherever we are, to connect with other people. It engenders on-the-spot bravery, which is what it will take to heal ourselves and our brothers and sisters on the planet.” We train not only for ourselves but for the welfare of all beings. This is a book that I will reread awakening to its wisdom over and over again.


A Song of Freedom - from "Songs of Freedom:Poems From a Healing Odyssey" now available on Amazon

Penned many poems
Freedom
let Divinity shine
Unshackle
Still not free.
Body memories' cling tightly
Stinging tentacles sucking life force
Breathe
The simple act of breathing
Not simple
Not easy
When terror fills the heart.
Unnamed--unclaimed heart trembling fear
Dark secrets the padlock on prison cell door.
A yoga mat
Chanting
Pranyama
Holotropic breath
Pain
Fear
Rage
Paralysis
Flood of tears
Body's free to rant
Sweat pours from every pore.
Divine Sweet Love and Light
fill the room
Release
Heavenly Voices serenade rebirth
We are all ONE
Illusion of uniqueness GONE
Healing bathes each human
Until all that remains
is The Soul.

From my heart to yours
May all beings be happy and free
With love
Mary

Sailing Free

During this morning's meditation, I felt deep gratitude for the gift of freedom in my life. Freedom is a state of mind. At the tender age of 5 years old, freedom and the ability to trust my body was shaken to the core as I dropped to the ground from paralytic polio. Although I was paralyzed, I had a vision of a healing Being -- I was free to step into a well bucket and was reeled up to meet this Being. I knew that no matter the life challenge, I was being protected, guarded and guided. Victor Frankl, author of Man's Search for Meaning talks about how, when he was in the concentration camp during World War II, although all of his freedoms were stripped away, he always had the freedom to choose how he was going to perceive his situation.

When I worked as a social worker at the VA, I was blessed to meet the courageous men and women who served our country. The POW's and I had a special connection. Although I was not captured during the war, I did have to surrender my physical freedom many times during my younger years. As my regular readers know, my father fell into alcoholism when I was 8 years old - just 3 years after contracting polio. He turned to me in his drunken hours for physical comfort and sexually abused me; and then would turn to beating me. During the summer of 1971, I was held captive by my father's drunken rages. My parents were separated and he moved in with my grandparents in the Bronx. We never knew when he would show up at our door step threatening to kill us. My mother, God rest her soul was so numb from prescription pain killers that she did not have the where with all to protect us. He ended up taking his own life on August 1, 1971. He could not find a way to be free and be in his physical body; his mind was filled with torment.

Although I was physically liberated on the day I learned of his death, it took years for me to find emotional freedom and with it peace and healing. But here I sit today with the gift of a new day. A blank page on which I get to write the script of my life. My thoughts this morning were initially focused on anticipating problems -- why hadn't my book order arrived? did my publisher make the corrections? am I really experiencing financial freedom or is disaster looming around the corner? (I had to declare bankruptcy after my father's death on behalf of my parents - it was a mess but God is always in the messes) am I physically whole or am I going to experience deterioration with symptoms of post polio syndrome? And then the word freedom floated into my heart and I realized I have the freedom to choose my beliefs.I hugged the beautiful child within who is trying to protect me by being prepared for the worst at all times. I told her I loved her and I told her together we would turn to God for Love, Light and Truth.

I choose to believe that past experiences are not the truth of my life. I choose to believe that I am healthy and whole and that I can manage the symptoms of post polio syndrome. I choose to believe that I am enough and I always have enough (to quote Terry Cole Whittaker in Follow Your Bliss). I choose to believe that, to quote Albert Einstein, the Universe is indeed a most wonderfully friendly place despite or maybe because of everything that has happened before. I choose to cry tears of joy and gratitude and relief that I am free - free to choose happiness, free to choose what is true for my life's path; I choose to love me and to quote Terry Cole Whittaker again, what anyone else thinks of me is none of my business. I am free to be courageous to live my path, fulfill my destiny and live my life with passion and purpose feeling overwhelming gratitude that I am free! I choose to believe that with God all things are possible.

I express freedom in the gift of poetry I discovered after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome. Although my body was shut down, my Spirit flew free and wrote poems of gratitude, healing, joy and love. Come with me on my healing journey through my books of inspirational poetry: "New World Greetings:Inspirational Poetry and Musings for a New World" and "Set Sail for a New World:Healing a Life Through the Gift of Poetry". 20% of book proceeds are donated to Hope Charitable Trust
and The Salk Institute for Biological Studies.

Why settle for a greeting card that comes close to what you want to say. At New World Greeting Cards, we create original poetry which starts with YOU!

What kind of a day will you create today? I hope it is one overflowing with freedom, joy, happiness and peace and that you go forth and be the change you want to see in the world.

Thank you for reading.

With love,
Mary