Thursday, August 13, 2009

Dancing with Faith!

Last night I had a dream. There was a fish that was on my neck and before I knew what happened it turned slimy and black. When I pulled it away there was a huge welt and I knew that it had injected me with a poison. I walked around looking for the anti-venom serum and while I did I felt myself feeling half alive and half dead but I was completely at peace with myself.

I know that our dreams can hold the key to unlock what we struggle with that is not quite clear during the day. I came to the realization that I still allow the beliefs and the actions of my family to poison me with fear, doubt, and feelings of unworthiness. When I allow these beliefs to dominate and live in 'reaction' to the mistreatment I experienced at their hands, I am only half alive. The anti-venom serum is as close as my beating heart - it comes from God's love and is the most powerful healing force in the world. By immersing myself in God's love I am able to transform the cellular memories embedded in my body to live a life of joy and freedom and to dance with the Spirit rather than dance with fear. By allowing my heart to forgive them for they knew not what they did and for knowing that God's love flows through me, I heal on a deeper level.

The fact that the fish was on my neck also told me that it is time to take care of my cervical spine again. During the work up for post polio syndrome, I had an MRI which revealed a narrowing of one part of my cervical spine. The disc presses on a nerve. I have had several trigger injections by a 'master magician' as I like to call him and have gone for over a year without needing an injection. These past few months I have been experiencing the pain and a resurgence of symptoms. My energy healer noticed a tightness in my back and yesterday, my personal trainer noticed that I was compensating for the pain. It was time to call for another appointment. The first available appointment was 9/4 but within an hour, the office called me with an appointment for today at 4:30. There was a cancellation. While I am all for healing the mind and healing the body, there are times when it's time to call on Western medicine to take care of the body. I am excited that I had this dream which confirms that I need to get intervention to heal my cervical spine while I continue to look at why this part of my body is so vulnerable and also use every modality available to alleviate pain and maximize functioning.

Today is my day for interval training on the recumbent bike. When I woke up this morning I was feeling fatigued and in pain and wondering how I was ever going to do this. After processing the dream in my journal, reading the Daily Word and allowing God's energy to flow through me, on the bike I went and during the intense intervals I felt myself releasing the toxins from the past. I told myself how much I loved myself and how working out is wonderful for my heart. I managed to do 9 intervals and was drenched with sweat when it was all over. I felt a feeling of well being which follows a good work out.

Today on Twitter, God spoke to me through two tweets. One was about Superman and the tweet said "a hero is an ordinary individual who finds strength 2 persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles". I am Superman! The other tweet came from Channel 5 News in Boston about research that shows that exercise/strength training actually helps cancer survivors whereas medical advice was to 'baby' the arm affected by swelling and pain. That got me thinking....someone needs to do research about the effects of exercise on post polio syndrome. There's a lot of research that needs to be done on post polio syndrome -- so much we don't understand and need to learn but one thing I do know is this - the power of belief and faith can carry me through!

Dancing with Faith

Dancing in the shadows, my partner's name was fear
With phone calls and with mail calls
Disaster looming near.
Shackled to my partner somber music droning on
Expecting only problems belief and faith were gone.
The sliver of a light beam pierced the once dark room
Beckoned me to follow - release the doom and gloom.
The beam of light on shackles, melted every lock away
Fear stood stunned, immobile - not knowing what to say.
Cascade of sun now bathed me - new partner dressed in white
Hand outstretched to join Her - with Love and light in sight.
Dance from deep within my Spirit - joyous movements gliding free
With God now as my partner - grace of God enfolding me.

Be sure to check out the wonderful piece done by 7 News Health Cast which aired on 8/6.

To purchase a copy of my book, "New World Greetings:Inspirational Poetry and Musings for a New World" overflowing with love, healing, grace and whimsy and which helps me and others to experience healing and inspiration, visit I generously donate 20% of the proceeds to Spaulding Rehab's Polio Fund.

And while you're there, visit my sumptuous samples of customized poetry. Enter a new world of greeting cards and celebrate, commemorate and allow me to create a customized poem for that special someone and that special occasion.


bint alshamsa said...

As a woman living with cancer, I think it's important to note that these findings only applied to those who've been treated for breast cancer. It would be very dangerous for people to extrapolate that other post-treatment cancer patients should see this study as something they should base their decisions on. Fitness is very important and certainly has its place. However, exercising can re-open wounds and can add more damage to the already affected parts of the body.

with love,
bint alshamsa

Graceful Lady said...

Thank you so much for your comment. I agree with you that it is so important that everyone listen to what their body is telling them and consult with a physician, a physiatrist (a doctor expert in physical rehab) and a physical therapist or a personal trainer before beginning any exercise program.
I found the study very exciting because it allows for the medical community and patients to look beyond the conventional medical advice. Sending you healing prayers - Mary