Sunday, August 16, 2009

The Vampire Struck Again!

There is a marvelous phrase in the post polio community coined by Dr. Richard Bruno about vampire bait no more. As polio survivors we learned to become people pleasers in an attempt to feel whole and worthy. It is difficult to say no and a challenge to not take on other people's problems believing in our own omnipotence and need to control. We can, in fact, become vampire bait and allow others to suck on our life's energy derailing us from our own hopes, dreams, desires and ability to take good care of ourselves.

As I was reflecting on the dream I had (see "Dancing with Faith" post) I realized that not only was it about being injected with the venomous beliefs of the past, but allowing people in the present to bite me just as a vampire does. The exact spot on my neck where I am experiencing pain is where a vampire would bite. The image of me walking half alive and half dead is what happens when a vampire takes over - all power is surrendered and the only way to survive is to then drain others of their life's energy. However, my dream ends with me seeking the anti-venom and once I am centered in God, no one can have power over me. I create my own fabulous life centered in God's love and the belief in light, love, joy, abundance, wholeness, healing, prosperity, fulfillment and living my highest purpose.

Today I went for an MRI to find out if the cervical spine condition has worsened or if it is stable and I just need another injection to bring down the inflammation. I realize that I need to work with Western medicine to bring about the best possible outcome. I also need to be incredibly kind to myself understanding why this area is vulnerable, using visualization, meditation and prayer to bring healing to this spot and to allow my 'master magician' (God and Dr. ElAbd) to help me with healing. I also realize there are steps I need to take to put distance between myself and others' drama. I can be loving and supportive but it is crucial that I protect myself from being bitten by the fangs of the drama vampire. While I cannot rescue another, I can surround them with loving prayers. If I am feeling resentment about what 'they are doing to me' (and in fact it is not they who are doing something but how I allow their behaviors to affect me) then I am not free to love them and to express my gratitude that they are giving me the opportunity to grow. I am grateful for the challenge they present in my life because it allows me to shed the beliefs which no longer serve me and to choose a higher path for myself. It is a blessing to move from vampire victim to fullness of life.


Pounding, clanging lying still
Eyes closed and shallow breath
A time to move toward light with God
or fear impending death?
Ego wants to win the flight
Spirit knows let go, let God
Release all fear and doubt.
Transcend the tube all limits gone
The Spirit flying free
Beyond all wild imaginings, the best is yet to be.

Be sure to check out the wonderful piece done by 7 News Health Cast which aired on 8/6 and the piece produced by BU Today

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Be sure to check out the News and Events tab to see where I will share my journey and gift of poetry this fall!

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