Yesterday morning's aquatics therapy class at Spaulding Rehab brought me to another level of healing in overcoming post polio syndrome.
I felt the blessing of the healing waters. I felt my heart fill with gratitude. I was able to do squats with the weights. I can feel muscles fatiguing while I feel my whole body getting stronger. Under the watchful eye of Karis and listening to my body, I am not overdoing it. Next week I am going to try light ankle weights to take my strength training to the next level.
I have been here before over and over again but this time is completely different.
A question bubbled to the surface while I was doing quad strengthening exercises. Can I trust this change? Is this it? Can I really feel wholy integrated in my body? Is my body going to break down and am I going to have another relapse?
The answer came to me -- yes and no! There are no guarantees. Everything changes and everything is impermanent. I do know that I am doing everything I can to keep myself as healthy as I can. I am going to be 60 years old and while I feel vibrant and more youthful than ever, nature will take its course. And just like the leaves have their most vibrant colors before they tumble to the ground, I am enjoying this vibrant time in my life. I am no longer afraid of my body and what "might happen to it."
I allow gratitude to bathe my heart and soul -- gratitude for everything - not just the healing but the pain and the painful experiences themselves for together they weave the exquisite tapestry that is my life. I am incredibly grateful that I have my sight, my hearing and all of my limbs. I am grateful for my husband and partner Tom who has been with me throughout this healing odyssey. But most of all I am grateful to myself for staying the course and not giving up.
This week two women sent me emails letting me know that I have given them hope. One woman told me that by reading my blog, she found the courage to take the next steps on her healing journey. Another woman told me that she tried everything and nothing worked so she was about to give up but now she has a feeling of hope.
I want others to experience the blessing of healing in their lives that I have been fortunate to experience.
And yesterday, in the healing waters of Spaulding Rehab's Aquatics Therapy Class, I reflected on the blessings in my life and felt the appreciation in my heart overflow into the waters and out into the world.
The View from the Observation Deck from Elements of Healing. My books of inspirational poetry are available on Amazon
Stranger to myself
navigating waters of a turbulent past.
The choppy seas of my breath
afraid to explore the wonder of me-
intimacy, touch, tenderness and calm
tainted by twisted souls
temporarily blinded by octopus ink
stinging my heart.
I am my captain and my soul mate
watching the past shrink into the distance
drop anchor ….
Observing breath and letting it be
release the tentacles' hold
allowing Spirit come to calm.
Breathing as One
the heart a magnet
drawing like unto itself
resetting the compass of my life.
New life and inspiration
from fellow travelers
on a voyage of Truth and Love.
take the leap of faith
say hello to my new best friend.