Friday, August 8, 2014

It's More Than a Race....



I've been mulling over in my mind, what is it about Sunday's race that seems to have so much emotion for me. Why did I choose this race to aim for a PR?

My friend Bonnie posted this to my wall on Facebook last night:



It all came together for me. The last time I heard J Alain Ferry at the start of a race was on 5/25/13.

From my memoir:
5/25/13

The moving pre-race ceremony began including 30 seconds of silence for those who lost their lives in the bombings. There was music and inspirational speeches and not a dry eye in the crowd as the church choir from where 8-year-old Martin Richard who was killed in the blast, made his first communion, sang the National Anthem. Tom and I had our arms around each other. Everyone was in a spiritual embrace.

And then we were off crossing the one mile to go marker in Kenmore Square where four years ago, Tom, our daughter Ruth Anne and I ran toward the finish line. I ran the 2009 Boston Marathon for those who couldn't and for those who were told they shouldn't run or would never be able to run again. Back then I was delivering a message of healing, hope and possibility. Today I was one with the survivors knowing they have a long road ahead for them but knowing that they, like me, would be able to go the distance.

We got to Hereford Street and I took a deep breath, as I knew we were going back to the Mandarin Oriental Hotel and passing The Forum where the second bomb exploded. As we passed in front of the Mandarin, we stopped for a brief moment to give our thanks to the staff who ensured our safety. The two doormen who had been there on Marathon Monday while we watched the race before going upstairs to join the Spaulding Rehab party were there. How healing and wonderful to see them, express our gratitude and be back on a part of Boylston Street I was afraid to visit.

I told Tom I was ready to sprint to the finish line. I said a prayer as we ran by The Forum. I sobbed as the crowds were cheering and we were surrounded by runners with their bib numbers from Marathon Monday and thousands of people who had been touched by the tragic events of April 15. At the finish line we shared stories with one another. We hugged. We cried. We healed.

Despite the cold and the rain, the love and energy of the community kept us warm. The event organizers did an amazing job at honoring the victims of the bombing and the survivors – “You are out there to run for those who can’t.”

That’s why I ran the marathon in ’09 – and here I was running the last mile with a deep connection to the survivors of the bombing knowing in every fiber of my being what it’s like to work to regain mobility and to recover from trauma where you face death. There were so many emotions as we listened to the pre-race ceremony speakers and then as we reclaimed Boylston Street as our own.


As I look back on it, I remember how hard it was for me to run. I pushed myself though. It was the first time I ran since September of 2011. I could hear my body ask me, “Who do you think you are, Bill Rodgers?” Take it easy! You haven’t run in a very long time."

I "just happened" to meet Alain at Heartbreak Hill Half Marathon Festival Weekend. He invited me to Sunday's race giving me post cards to spread the word about the event.

Returning to the roads with the #onerun, I realized how important it was for me to get back to running and the running community. I knew how important it was for me to find my way back to myself after my nephew's suicide and taking a detour on my healing path.

I am so blessed that I was able to let go of people and practices that were not supporting me on my healing journey and found my way to the healing path I am now on.

Sunday's race is to benefit Prostate Cancer. We are all survivors of something in this life we live. I have nothing to prove yet I have everything to prove to myself. I've worked hard to get back to running and to experience the fullness of my body while living with the late effects of paralytic polio and healing in the wake of 9 years of violence as a child and teenager.

I am running not just for myself on Sunday but for all those who were told they couldn't, shouldn't or for whatever reason, cannot run right now. I know what a gift it is to go full out when the gun goes off and see what this body can do.

And while it may be just be a small 5K race on a Sunday afternoon at Boston College, for me, it's so much more than a race.



I chronicle the first 7 years of my healing journey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma in my memoir, "Coming Home:A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" available along with all of my books on Amazon. I donate 50% of royalty payments to The One Fund to benefit survivors of 4/15/13.






Thursday, August 7, 2014

The Joy is in the Journey

On Sunday I will take my place at the starting line of the Inaugural Bill Rodgers 5K Run to benefit Prostate Cancer.



The hay is in the barn so to speak. I've trained on the course and worked hard this week in Aquatics Therapy classes. I even did a few extra swimming laps last night for good measure. I've been meditating, visualizing and listening to my playlist which includes this oldie but goodie from Whitney Houston:



I have also been asking myself why am I focusing on going for a PR on Sunday? As a side note, I've redefined PR for my new age group and a PR since my return to the roads after 4/15/13. My 5K PR for all time was at the Somerville Jingle Bell Run 5K in December of 2010; 42:21.



It's not the time on the finisher's clock that truly matters to me. It's about setting a goal. Working towards that goal. Embracing and anticipating reaching that goal and not attaching to the outcome.

As a survivor of paralytic polio followed by 9 years of childhood violence, it's about resurrecting the champion within; the athlete and feeling the fire in my belly (yes along with the butterflies) of taking on a course and seeing if I can beat my time of a 15:30 minute/mile pace for a 5K during a race.

I don't know what will happen on Sunday. A lot will depend on the weather and how I feel when I wake up in the morning. I am going for a massage treatment today at Sollievo and am taking these 3 days as rest days.

I'm reading Johnny Kelley's Young at Heart:



As my trainer said to me before our first session in October of 2007, "Let's see what this body can do."

Whatever the outcome, I am going to have a wonderful time on Sunday. The joy is in the journey.

And speaking of journeys - I chronicle the first 7 years of my healing journey in my memoir, "Coming Home:A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" available along with all of my books on Amazon. I donate 50% of royalty payments to The One Fund to benefit survivors of 4/15/13.









Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Your Moment of Zen

Jon Stewart's signature closing for The Daily Show was "Here's your moment of Zen."

Tom and I will often share insights we've had from our morning meditations and we'll say, "Ooh that's our moment of Zen for the day."

I thought I would share with you some of my favorite moments of Zen I've collected during the past year.

"Do not doubt your own basic goodness. In spite of all confusion and fear, you are born with a heart that knows what is just, loving, and beautiful." ~Jack Kornfield

How often do we look at the "mess" and forget about the intention!



Understanding our anger and bringing compassion to all of our emotions is so important:



And when it comes to fear:




"May we see beyond the surface waves, may we cherish the sacred in all beings…may we find our way to peace."
~Tara Brach

Two of my own:

Out of our deepest wounds we find our greatest strength, our most beautiful treasures and the knowledge that love is far greater and more powerful than any experience we endure.


Trust your gut. Listen to your intuition and to your heart. They will not lead you astray. And then take a deep breath and exhale letting everything go.


And in closing:


and the gift of presence and peace:
Presence

Presents
gifts of awakening and awareness
come in the oddest of boxes
illness
old age
death
presence always presenting
opportunities
for transformation
the physical body
an illusion really
yet necessary
if we are to experience the fullness of life
the journey is the destination
being present
receiving all the gifts that presence presents
unwrap the gift of peace.





"Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.



"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.




Tuesday, August 5, 2014

A Little Trash Talk: Thoughts on Training for a PR

The last time I trash talked in my blog was before the 2010 Jingle Bell 5K Run. I was at the height of my running career feeling well in my body and taking such delight in being a part of the running community.

But life happened in March of 2011 with my nephew's suicide that shook me to my core. I took a little detour on my healing journey and have been working my way back to myself mind, body and Spirit.

I had not even entertained PR's or trash talk since April of 2013 when I began running again. At the Corrib Pub 5K and the Father Bullock Charity Road Race, I ran a 15:30 minute/mile pace. I feel so blessed to be back on the roads and a part of the running community.

But last Saturday, the spark of trash talk was ignited in my soul after Tom and I trained for the Inaugural Bill Rodgers 5K Prostate Cancer Run and Walk.



I put it out there on Facebook in the 5k Manics Group:

Anyone doing the Bill Rodgers 5K & Boston Prostate Cancer Walk this Sunday? I'm stoked and weather and my body permitting, I'm visualizing a PR.

My friend Ken wrote:

You will float like a butterfly on that course, Mary. This will make you feel good...
...and it will definitely extend the life of your running shoes!


I loved his butterfly image since Bill Rodgers used to chase butterflies when he was a boy.

I wrote about our training run in my post, The Best Time.

Yesterday I went out for an easy shake out 3.1 miler. I did a very easy 16'20" minute/mile pace. I remember when that was my best pace. Now it's in my comfort zone. I used the run to visualize Sunday's race.

I imagined the run I had on Saturday only this time, I added in spectators and the presence of Bill Rodgers.

I entertained the idea of Bill Rodgers coming back to run in the back of the packers and celebrating my PR with him and race director J Alain Ferry.

I thought about Tom pacing me and about seeing the finisher's clock at 47:00 minutes. I won't look at my Nike+. I am going to run from the inside out seeing what this body can do on race day. I even brought tears to my eyes imagining the feeling of having my best race since returning to the roads after 4/15/13.

But it's not all about imagining the outcome. I had last Saturday's run on the course, my shake out run yesterday and Aquatics Therapy this morning strapping on my 5 pound ankle weights and working out in the deeper water. I focused on building core strength and upper body strength crucial to good running. One more Aquatics Therapy class tomorrow for what I'd like to call my last chance workout before the race.


Friday and Saturday are rest days. I am going to make a playlist not to listen to during the race but to inspire me on the days leading up to the race. I will continue to visualize my run and know what it will feel like to run a PR. One word of caution to me though. I will not visualize my race before going to sleep.

In "Run to Overcome", Meb shares how he visualized a race the night before he was to run a race. He woke up sweaty and tired and ran a horrible race. He realized that visualization is important for racing but not the night before the race. His experience validates what I know to be true about the power of visualization.

It doesn't matter what the outcome of my race on Sunday will be. I'm having fun enjoying a little trash talk and prepping myself mind, body and Spirit for a PR. It's been awhile since I allowed myself this sense of fun and play. I feel a confidence in myself on this course and it's a delight to anticipate an all out effort on race day. It's been too long since I gave myself this opportunity ... way too long!


"Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.



"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.









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