If You Build It He Will Come - On Visions and Visionaries

Did you see the movie Field of Dreams? "Sometimes when you believe the impossible, the incredible happens."


A few weeks ago we went to Spaulding Rehab's Set Sail event. Spaulding's President, David Storto, shared how he was standing with Mayor Menino on the grounds of the new hospital and the Mayor asked David what they were going to do with the land adjacent to the hospital. David said to the Mayor, "Well you own that land. It's under the Boston Redevelopment Authority." The Mayor asked him what he thought it should be and he said he thought it should be a park. The Mayor said, "Well I think it should be playground for kids with disabilities."



Next year at the Set Sail event, it will be ready. It's so exciting to watch the transformation of this piece of land covered right now with dirt and rocks into what will be heaven and a haven for kids of all disabilities to play. Whenever I go to the Aquatics Classes at Spaulding, I see the work in progress moving toward the final vision of David and the Mayor.

A week ago Sunday, Tom and I were volunteers at the Grand Opening of the Brookline Teen Center.



Paul Epstein, MSW had a vision eight years ago of a teen center in Brookline that would be created by teens and for teens. Eight years - can you imagine the faith and energy it took to see this project through to fruition? It was a magnificent day and over 1,000 people came out to see what the Center was all about. Tom and I greeted the excited guests at the registration table. There is no way I could have captured the look on Paul's mother and aunt's faces as they signed in to celebrate the special day. I remember volunteering at an open house when the space was an open garage. I saw renderings of the project and watched the progress of the Teen Center as it went from one man's vision to a reality.

I know the power of visualization and having a vision. In December of 2006, I was given a rather grim diagnosis of a progressive neuromuscular disease - post polio syndrome and the prognosis was the best we could hope for was to stabilize "my condition." I returned to what I had already known and learned from working with Dr. Bernie Siegel through the years. I got still. I meditated and I asked the Divine for help.

In February of 2007 I wrote this poem that will be in the soon to be released "A Celebration of Life." {You can purchase my books of inspirational poetry on Amazon.}

Running the Race - Feb, 2007

Early summer 1959 my kindergarten year
Everyone around me filled with nervous fear
Despite the Salk vaccine hope polio would disappear
The polio virus crept right up and knocked me in the rear.

Dancing all around the gym feeling free just like a bird
I dropped to the ground just like a stone and no one said a word.
The pain it was so searing-the diagnosis even worse
"It's polio" the doctor said...he was abrupt and terse.

Called one of the 'lucky ones' I had a 'mild case'
But with the other athletes I could never keep their pace.
Miss Holly physical therapist, curly hair and a warm, broad smile
It tempered the pain of being apart - to walk I'd take awhile.

I always wore those 'special' shoes the kids they poked and teased
With no support and much abuse with childhood I wasn't pleased.
But put nose to the grindstone and learned all that I could
I couldn't kick a ball but my grades were always good.

Years went by and no more thought to polio did I give
I accepted the limp and everything else and decided my life I would live.
But symptoms of weakness and muscle pain did grow
I kept a stoic face hoping noone else would know.

Life no longer was my own I struggled through each day
Suffered in silence, isolated from friends-trying to keep depression at bay.
And with the grace of glorious God my world it opened wide
I discovered there was a Post Polio team and they were on my side.

Using wheelchair to travel, set limits on what I could do,
Resulted in joy to realize I could live life anew.
Celebrated my body- creaks, groans and need for a brace
While in my mind I focused on winning a 10K race.

Sought out paths for healing and my spirit flew free
For the first time in life, I could truly be me.
The chains are gone and possibilities abound
I'm a tree with my roots planted firmly in ground.

I'm now off the sidelines, no need to sit and whine
So much gratitude fills my heart and love and beauty shine.
After all these years I can join the loving human race
I exceed all expectations and now I set the pace.

I returned to the cadence of Dr. Seuss that had helped to sustain me through painful physical therapy sessions to help me recover from the paralytic polio I contracted at the age of 5. My physical therapist, Miss Holly, was years ahead of her time knowing how important it was to give me tools to cope with the intense pain of recovering from paralytic polio. I accepted everything as it was in that moment. It was the first time I acknowledged the pain of my childhood and polio but I went on to focus on winning a 10K race.

I had never owned a pair of running shoes. I never ran a day in my life yet there I was focusing in my mind's eye on winning a 10K race. Two years and two months later I went on to cross the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon.



And as they said in Field of Dreams, "Sometimes when you believe the impossible, the incredible happens."



And since I feel so amazing in my new home, I am going to be running my inaugural event after a two year running hiatus at the 3rd Annual Brookline Symphony Orchestra 5K Fun Run on 9/29. Register today at www.brooklinesymphony.org

Five Months Later - Reflections on the Healing Process

Our day began with Lisa Hughes and CBS' coverage of the 2013 Boston Marathon. I became very emotional when they showed the start for the mobility impaired runners remembering what a special day it was for us on April 20, 2009 when we took our start at the 113th Boston Marathon.

This year's Marathon Monday weather was chilly but the sun was shining. I was so excited to be reclaiming and celebrating my 2009 Boston Marathon run with the Race for Rehab Spaulding Team at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel. I've written a few blogs about Marathon Weekend, Marathon Monday and the days following the bombings which you can find by clicking on the archives for April.

That's how Tom and I found ourselves in the suite of the Mandarin Oriental Hotel above Boylston Street excited to cheer on our friends and former team mates from Spaulding and waiting for other friends to come down Boylston Street to the finish. We remembered what it felt like to walk into the suite after being out on the course for 7 hours and 49 minutes and how we were regaled by everyone in the suite. David Storto, the President of Spaulding, asked me to give a speech that day saying that I exemplified what Spaulding Rehab Hospital was all about.

As we dined on delicious food and reconnected with Greg Gordon our beloved team mate from 2009, and watching the runner tracking board, Tom and I kept debating about whether or not to go down to the street to see one of our friends who we knew was nearing the finish line but we never got the text that he crossed the 40K mark although he had. We were protected and shielded from the impact of the 2nd blast and miraculously were not at the window when the 2nd bomb exploded. Our dear friend Greg was courageous enough to go to the window and come back to tell us what happened. I can still see the look of shock, grief and horror in his eyes.

We were so fortunate to make it out safely and walking a few miles back to our car was both a blessing and traumatic. While we could release the energy of terror and panic because we had to walk quickly, we could smell the bombs and were bombarded by the sirens and shrieks of sharp turns of emergency vehicles, police cars and the SWAT teams. We also did not know whether or not we were walking toward safety.

But we were and we did and I know how incredibly blessed we are that we only have emotional wounds to heal.

So how did the bombings affect me and how am I healing?

The bombings awakened me to realize the preciousness and fragility of life. I examined where I had been and where I wanted to go. I had to get off of my yoga mat and get back to running. I needed to be a vital part of my community in my town and the running community. I needed to revise my books of poetry to ensure that they were only in my voice and I needed to strip down the trappings of my identity as a yogi and as a yoga teacher to reveal my authentic self. I started writing original poetry for every occasion for friends and family but plan to reopen my paypal account and start up this business again. I awakened to the truth in relationships and now I let go of relationships that do not nourish and support me and nourish those that do. I am so blessed that the running community has welcomed me back with open arms.

I decided to team up with Greg who is the race director for the Brookline Symphony Orchestra 5K Fun Run & Walk happening on 9/29th at the Cleveland Circle Reservoir. I've worked with Greg and Laura and Sylvain Bouix to help market and plan the event. Training for the event has been incredibly healing for me. Training with Tom by my side has helped us both with healing from the events of Marathon Monday. I know he is thrilled that I am finding balance in my health and fitness routine. We also go to Spaulding's Aquatic Therapy Community classes together. He takes time to train for the BAA Half happening in a few weeks.

I have crying jags where sadness overwhelms me but so do joy and gratitude. As Larry Rosenberg, founder of the Cambridge Insight Meditation Center says, "Where is peace to be found? In the same place as sorrow - how convenient." And I recently saw this quote from Thich Nhat Hahn, "The seed of suffering in you may be strong, but don't wait until you have no more suffering before allowing yourself to be happy.”

Tom and I were blessed to go to A Midsummer Night's Dream on Carson Beach and bought tickets to see Tribes in a few weeks. Today we volunteered at the Grand Opening of the Brookline Teen Center. Tom said he wanted to spend the day with me and agreed to volunteer.



We saw many friends from the Brookline community whom we had not seen in awhile. There were at least 1,000 people in attendance. I had been involved with the Teen Center a couple of years ago. When I saw they needed volunteers for the Grand Opening, I immediately signed up. The most heartwarming moment came for me when we said goodbye to Paul Epstein who had the vision for the Teen Center eight years ago. I congratulated him and he thanked us for volunteering today and for my support during the past few years. He then asked me to come back and visit when it is filled with teens because that's when the place will really shine.

I feel stronger than ever in mind, body and Spirit despite the physical and emotional pain that waxes and wanes in the months following the Boston Marathon bombings. I know that I will continue to heal. My life along with the lives of so many has been forever changed since April 15th. My hope and prayer is that we can all heal together, find our strength together, and move forward with a new awareness and appreciation for each moment that we can take a breath, honoring our pain and the pain of those around us. May we allow the tincture of time and love to heal greeting all with compassion and loving kindness.

The Flower of Compassion from the soon to be released, "A Celebration of Life." My books of inspirational poetry are available on Amazon

She takes root
this fragile flower
at heart center
tendrils travel
outstretched arms
a hand to hold
a gentle sigh
petals glisten with gentle tears
a warm knowing smile
beauty to behold
holding space
for the flower of compassion to bloom.

Spotlight on Spaulding Rehab's Set Sail

The timing could not have been better. Two days after John Odom, the last of the survivors of the Boston Marathon bombing went home after being discharged from Spaulding's outpatient care, Spaulding Rehab Hospital was decked out with balloons and a festive atmosphere of celebration and healing for their annual Set Sail event.



I've been to other Set Sail events but none compared to today's event. This was the first Set Sail at the recently opened Charlestown facility. How remarkable that just 12 days after the Boston Marathon bombing, Spaulding Rehab opened its doors and many of the survivors came to Spaulding to find their emotional and physical strength after the devastating events of April 15th.

Today was a day of great food, fun, reunions and healing....

Members of the 2009 Race for Rehab Team reunited



an opportunity to experience adaptive fishing



Emcee Kelly Tuthill's opening remarks about Spaulding Rehab and the Adaptive Sports Program. The Spaulding Rehabilitation Network is dedicated to enabling individuals of all abilities to lead active, healthy lifestyles. Participation in sports and recreational pursuits helps to make this possible.

Spaulding Adaptive Sports programs began in Boston in 2001 and was named after the former medical director of Spaulding, Dr. Charles H. Weingarten. His wife, Jane is the co chair of the event held every year as the program's major fund raiser to enable children and adults to access sports and recreation. No one is turned away because of financial reasons.

Whether it is wheelchair tennis, hand cycling, adaptive rowing, or windsurfing, those living with disabilities after illness or injury can rebuild their strength and sense of independence while they increase body awareness, build self-confidence, learn new life skills, and even make new friends.

Children and adults can participate in Spaulding Adaptive Sports programs under the supervision of adaptive sports professionals as well as Spaulding therapists, providing the perfect environment to try a new sport or get back to one you have always loved. Our trained staff will help identify activities most appropriate for each participant, based on his or her capabilities.-Compiled from today's program and Spaulding's website}



President David Storto's opening remarks in which he shared his tremendous pride in Spaulding's response in the aftermath of the bombings and how grateful he is that the survivors were able to heal and recover at this state of the art facility.



He introduced Mayor Menino --



I was overcome with emotion as he talked about a park that is accessible for children of all abilities to be built on the property abutting Spaulding's new facility.

It was an emotional day all around as we reconnected with those with whom we were in the Mandarin Oriental on Marathon Monday, reunited with runners from our '09 team and those who we were waiting for on this year's team when the bombs went off. While I felt the sadness of the events of 4/15, I became keenly aware of the healing that has happened in my own life since I was a patient at Spaulding seven years ago


and the healing of these past five months since Marathon Monday.

I am able to take advantage of the Aquatics Therapy program at Spaulding to continue to find my strength and recover from paralytic polio and trauma experiencing a sense of integration and wholeness of mind, body and Spirit. Seven years ago when I walked through the doors of Spaulding's Framingham Outpatient Clinic for Post Polio, I thought that my life was ending -- and in a way it was --



And today I was blessed to experience the joy of my journey of transformation supporting a program that will help others to transform from a disabled person to a person of ability and strength.

The first poem I wrote after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome in the cold, dark winter of 2007 as I emerged from the dark night of my soul. The unconscious was preparing the way for me to run the Boston Marathon

Running the Race - Feb, 2007 - from the soon to be released A Celebration of Life
Early summer 1959 my kindergarten year
everyone around me filled with nervous fear
Despite the Salk vaccine hope polio would disappear
the polio virus crept right up and knocked me in the rear.
Dancing all around the gym feeling free just like a bird
I dropped to the ground just like a stone and no one said a word.
The pain it was so searing-the diagnosis even worse
"It's polio" the doctor said...he was abrupt and terse.
Called one of the 'lucky ones' I had a 'mild case'
but with the other athletes I could never keep their pace.
Miss Holly physical therapist, curly hair and a warm, broad smile
it tempered the pain of being apart - to walk I'd take awhile.
I always wore those 'special' shoes the kids they poked and teased
with no support and much abuse with childhood I wasn't pleased.
But put nose to the grindstone and learned all that I could
I couldn't kick a ball but my grades were always good.
Years went by and no more thought to polio did I give
I accepted the limp and everything else and decided my life I would live.
But symptoms of weakness and muscle pain did grow
I kept a stoic face hoping no one else would know.
Life no longer was my own I struggled through each day
suffered in silence, isolated from friends-trying to keep depression at bay.
And with the grace of glorious God my world it opened wide
I discovered there was a Post Polio team and they were on my side.
Using wheelchair to travel, set limits on what I could do,
resulted in joy to realize I could live life anew.
Celebrated my body- creaks, groans and need for a brace
while in my mind I focused on winning a 10K race.
Sought out paths for healing and my spirit flew free
for the first time in life, I could truly be me.
The chains are gone and possibilities abound
I'm a tree with my roots planted firmly in ground.
I'm now off the sidelines, no need to sit and whine
so much gratitude fills my heart and love and beauty shine.
After all these years I can join the loving human race
I exceed all expectations and now I set the pace.



My books of inspirational poetry are available on Amazon.

I am honored to be a guest on Michele Rosenthal of Heal My PTSD's show Change You Choose this Wednesday 9/11. You can listen to the show live by following this link.

No matter how hard we may try, the images of the terrorist attacks and the aftermath in both New York City and Boston are deeply ingrained in our minds. The suffering and loss will forever be part of each individual, their families, and - on a bigger scale - our entire country. However, remembering and commemorating does not mean that we need to focus on the tragedy itself. Instead, it is far more useful to focus on rebuilding; becoming stronger and more powerful as individuals, as families, as communities, and as a country.

This Wednesday, I will join Michele to discuss resilience after trauma and how each of us, whether directly or indirectly affected by a traumatic event, can find strength to not only move past what cannot be changed but overcome our own emotional and psychological barriers to healing.

"The Miracle Isn't That I Finished...

The miracle is I had the courage to start." - John Bingham



Three weeks from tomorrow - my inaugural event in two years - The Brookline Symphony Orchestra 5k Fun Run and it's easy to say oh it's just a 5K and it's just a fun run but I don't believe in the word "just". For me it's huge that I am participating in a 5K event again. The paralytic polio virus that I contracted at the age of 5 left my body with structural and neuromuscular issues that I've been dealing with for decades or rather not dealing with for decades would be more to the point. Add in a layer of trauma - severe trauma for 9 years - and it's a recipe for breakdown and disease which happened with the diagnosis of post polio syndrome seven years ago.

During these past seven years, I've had this amazing healing odyssey of ups and downs but at no point in this odyssey did I feel as hopeful, as steady and as strong as I do now.


It would have been easy for me to quit two years ago and say this is as good as it's gonna get. I'll practice yoga 5 or 6 times a week. I will hunker down and wait for winter to pass. While I was grateful for the functioning I had and the blessings in my life, my body and my life were constricted and contracted.


It takes courage to begin again over and over and over again. And it takes courage to start from the beginning with training for a 5K. Of course it was a lot easier than when I first started training for the 2009 Boston Marathon when my heart rate went over 170 with a walk/run and I had the endurance of 5 minutes at a time. I celebrated when I was able to walk/run for 30 minutes.

I can't look at where I was when I left running two years ago but rather feel grateful and happy that I have been able to begin again and be where I am right now. I am able to get stronger, and experience softness and grace and ease in my movements although at times I feel like a newborn colt finding my legs and finding my way in this wonderful new structure. I'm excited that I'll be outdoors as the seasons change this year and if it gets too harsh in winter, I'll use my recumbent stationary bike for cross training. But I am a hearty soul and delighted that I have balance in my health and fitness routine.


And when I cross the finish line on September 29th, I will know in my heart that the miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start - yet again and this time, I have a feeling that I am going to be able to maintain momentum, strength, grace and ease.




The Chaser from the soon to be released A Celebration of Life. My books of inspirational poetry are available on Amazon

Energy of fear
bristling and bubbling
trying to hold me down
hold me back
as it stalls
pools in back of knees
where he once brought to my knees
but no need to struggle
to wrest free from fear
just let it be
harnessing my healing power
sending life force
more forceful than fear
chi the chaser
no longer chased by ghosts from a traumatic past
free to run!

Play-ing On The Beach A Midsummer Night's Dream - Rave Review

My love for Shakespeare first sparked in 11th grade English with Mr. Tassone was rekindled yesterday at Carson Beach with the Brown Box Theatre Project production of A Midsummer Night's Dream.


A Midsummer Night's Dream is one of Shakespeare's most popular comedies. Children and adults alike will delight in fairy plots, dramatic duels and romance gone awry. Hermia and Lysander are determined to marry, despite her father's command that she marry Demetrius. Will the couple succeed in their elopement? Will the fair Helena capture the attention of Demetrius? What does the fairy queen Titania have to do with all of this and why is there a donkey on stage anyway? Discover the answers to all of this and more...Brown Box Theatre Project presents a magical interpretation of Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream as its Third Annual Free Shakespeare! Bring your beach chair or blanket and journey with us into the forest and explore the mysticism of happiness as the lovers and mechanicals of Athens stumble into the kingdom of feuding fairies and mischievous sprites.

Kyler Taustin, a graduate of Emerson College in Boston, founded Brown Box Theatre Project in 2010 with the goal of bringing the performing arts to communities and audiences that usually lack access to live theatre. This year’s performances at Boston Children’s Museum are just one stop in Brown Box’s Shakespeare at the Beach tour, a program that brings free Shakespeare productions directly into communities and schools.



What a delightful way to wind down summer with the characters from Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream using a set with that enhances the action of the play and uses the expansiveness of the beach to set the stage for this wonderful whimsical theatrical experience. The actors' voices carry on the wind. It is live theatre at its best! The actors' convey the heart of Shakespeare through their words and embodiment of their characters. You need not be a scholarly student of Shakespeare to experience the delight and lyrics of Shakespeare communicated by the Brown Box Theatre Project troupe.



So it may not be midsummer but you definitely want to catch a performance of A Midsummer Night's Dream. In the Massachusetts area there are two performances today at 2 at Marine Park and at 7 pm at Still Harbor. Tomorrow you can catch a performance in Newburyport at Waterfront Park at 2 pm. The troupe then moves on down the East Coast to Maryland and Delaware. For more information about the Brown Box Theatre and performances visit their website. The Brown Box Theatre Project makes Shakespeare accessible to all!