One Year Later - A Picture of Strength - A Message of Hope

Today's cover of Sports Illustrated showing Boston Strong a day after the one year annivesary of the Boston Marathon bombings:



I am proud to call myself a Bostonian. Yesterday's tribute and services were filled with grace, Truth, dignity, honesty and integrity. I cried as the rain poured and the wind howled as the day wore on but nothing could dampen the spirits of Boston to commemorate and celebrate our strength and resilience as individuals and as a community.

We shared photos and thoughts on Facebook and Twitter as we had one year ago to come together as a community both in real life and in cyberspace. I could feel how the cloud of trauma that blanketed our hearts and our city had dissipated and now is a time to continue moving forward in healing and hope.

Most of the survivors continue to face a long and arduous road of rehabilitation and it is a lifelong journey now. I know what it means to experience a lifelong journey of rehabilitation although certainly not to the extent that many of the survivors face. My life was forever changed in a moment when I contracted paralytic polio at the age of 5 followed by years of unrelenting trauma.

As Adrianne Haslet-Davis so poignantly stated during the tribute at the Hynes Convention Center, Life can go horribly, horrifically wrong in a matter of seconds but it's up to us to make every second count thereafter and believe me they do count.

So now we move from the one year anniversary to countdown to Marathon Monday. I have so many emotions in the mix right now. Part of me wants to wake up on 4/22 knowing all of my dear friends have crossed the finish line safely and accomplished whatever it is they wanted and needed to accomplish on Monday. Part of me is excited to see the race especially after reading articles about the elite athletes and seeing Shalene Flanagan on 60 Minutes.

I know that all I can do is ride the waves of emotions, continue doing what I do day in and day out and experience this most unique time in the history of the Boston Marathon.

Today John Hancock asked the question "What does #weruntogether mean to you --

#weruntogether also means #wehealtogether we find our strength together and uphold each other when we are not feeling so strong. #weruntogether also means that whether we run or are spectators and support crew, each of us is an integral thread of the tapestry that woven together makes us Boston Strong!

One year later we are a picture of strength and a message of hope!

A Time for Stillness

In Stillness from A Celebration of Life

The silt settles in stillness
the ripples
calm
noon sun
by the shore
my breath deepens.

In stillness
I awaken
aware of the impermanence of all things
settling into the gift of the moment
wanting nothing
in emptiness
in stillness
peace and solitude.

Yesterday was the last day of being #supportcrew for this year's Boston Marathon runners. It was an exhausting yet exhilarating day of packet stuffing. I have been going non stop with water stops, fund raisers, being solo support crew for my friends who were running, standing in all sorts of weather while also getting my run on as I returned to running through the winter for the first time in two years.

Last night I sat down to take a deep breath and be still. I scrolled through some articles about the aftermath of last year's marathon, but then I shifted my focus to look at this year's race. There are wonderful articles about the elite runners and what kind of a race this is shaping up to be. In my stillness, I was able to to understand how I so wanted to feel a sense of completion at the Mandarin last year; coming full circle from when I ran my triumphant marathon in 2009. I was finally beginning to feel well enough after healing from my nephew's suicide in 2011 and experiencing a sense of coming home in my body. That day had a radically different outcome than the one I had imagined as the day began with so much promise.

But I also know how incredibly blessed and fortunate we were to only experience emotional wounds that day; emotional wounds that are healing with time, love, nourishment from an incredible community, my own resilience and strength and by giving to those who are running Boston this year.

In my stillness, I sent out prayers; a meditation of loving kindness to all. May we be happy.. May we be healthy.. May be we safe.. May we live with ease. I thought about all those whose lives were dramatically altered after last year's events and sent out special prayers for healing.

I am not going back to the Mandarin this year. In my stillness, I found a sense of peace in accepting that it would be too much for me to spend the day inside and inside the space where we experienced the bombing. I was able to acknowledge, as painful as it was, that there is no way I can go back and reclaim that day anymore than I can go back and reclaim the end of my kindergarten year when I contracted paralytic polio and my life was forever changed...anymore than I can go back and change any of the traumatic events that happened in my life.

But what I can do is move forward. I can feel overwhelming gratitude for each day and for the blessings and grace in my life. I can create new Boston Marathon memories and I can honor that I am still healing from trauma and that I live with a neuromuscular condition. But what a beautiful life I have!

Life has a funny way of working out - always - and because I could not go back to the Mandarin, we are going to watch the marathon with the mother of a dear friend who is running and did not want to spectate alone on Marathon Monday.

As we approach the anniversary of 4/15/13, I am taking deep breaths, crying tears of sadness and tears of relief, joy and gratitude that we have all made it through this past year and are healing. There are two photos that really contrast then and now:

Bostonians gather for a moment of silence on Boylston St. shortly after 4/15/13 for a moment of silence:



On 4/12/14 Bostonians gather for a Sports Illustrated photo shoot:



I talk about the signs of renewal and healing in my blog post "Joy and Spring return to Boston...And this time next year..."

Beginning on Thursday, there is going to be a frenzy of activity leading up to Marathon Monday.

I'll begin Thursday with a 90 minute session at Sollievo Massage and Bodywork. The sessions focus on deep relaxation and healing and I am able to meditate during the sessions. My therapist, Joseph Brescia, incorporates a number of techniques, one of which is Zero Balancing a body-mind therapy that I am exploring to continue to nourish mind, body and Spirit and heal trauma and parayltic polio. I cherish that me time and time of stillness especially as we launch into Marathon weekend.

Thursday evening is L Street's pre marathon meeting. On Saturday, Tom runs the BAA 5K and there will be many commemorative and celebratory activities for the weekend. We will be going to the Race Expo and connecting with friends throughout the weekend.

And then one week from today - the 118th Boston Marathon. For now, I am settling into moments of stillness and reflection allowing all the emotions to surface and move through me as I no longer mark the anniversary of the bombings by months but by one year!

Joy and Spring Return to Boston -- "And this time next year..."

It has been a long, cold, cruel New England winter. We thought Spring would never arrive. We thought our hearts and souls would never begin to experience the warmth that Spring brings or that our broken hearts would heal. It seemed like flowers would not bloom again and that the snow and ice would never melt.

But today in real time and on my Facebook feed, there are signs of healing and moving forward. I went on a 5.7 mile run and did about a 15+ minute pace as I train for the Tufts 10K in October. What an amazing day. The Reservoir is melted. The geese were swimming. The birds sang sweet and clear. Runners wearing their race day singlets for their chosen charity were out in force. I felt wonderful in my body running next to my life and running partner Tom. I shouted out to runners we passed, "Good luck a week from Monday."

Tomorrow we join the Merrimack Valley Striders for Packet Stuffing Day. Here are some photos from yesterday and today's packet stuffing days:



and a pic of this year's volunteer jacket:



My dear friend David Brown who brought such joy to running on Beacon Street posted his number which someone stuffed into a packet yesterday:


Sports Illustrated invited Bostonians to be a part of a cover photo shoot. What a contrast to the cover one year ago picturing 3 police officers running to assist a runner on the ground and chaos, desolation and destruction along Boylston Street.

This compilation comes from Twitter that says: A New Day in Boston


There are hashtags for #bostonstronger now!

And here is a video of the photo shoot:


Here are some photos my Facebook friends posted:





There are many more photos from my friends that capture a sense of play and joy like this one



and that reflect resilience and triumph as over 3,000 Bostonians returned to Boylston Street and the Finish Line just a few days before the one year anniversary of 4/15/13.

One of the businesses on Boylston Street most profoundly affected by the bombings was The Forum who posted this on Facebook today:

Dear friends,

April 15th, 2013 was a date that forever changed our lives and scarred our city. A date that certainly made history, not because of the criminal intents of some, but because of the remarkable show of strength and resilience of our community. In the aftermath, FORUM was inundated with an outpour of love, support and encouragement, in messages from people all over the world. It gave us the strength needed to rebuild and reopen our business, four long months later.

Today, nearly a year has passed since last Marathon, and with that time, wounds have begun healing. While the City prepares for this year’s Marathon, words simply cannot describe the feelings of anticipation shared by many of us. We are forever grateful for the true heroes in our beloved city, those who risk their lives to selflessly protect and serve us.

To express the true extent of our appreciation, on Tuesday April 15th, 2014, FORUM will donate 100% of the day’s sales to the The One Fund Boston, the Joe Andruzzi Foundation, the Boston Firefighters Credit Union's Lt. Walsh and FF Kennedy Memorial Fund.

We invite you all to join us at FORUM in this day of tribute and remembrance. We will never break. Together, we are Boston Strong.

And this time next year....we are here now poised to both commemorate the tragic events of 4/15/13 and anticipate the running of the 118th Boston Marathon. We will continue to need to heal as we move through these next 9 days and beyond but what a wonderful day to experience that joy and Spring return to Boston and we are Boston Stronger!

Boylston Street

Right on Hereford, Left on Boylston Street - the holy grail of the Boston Marathon. You know you've arrived.

I remember the thrill of arriving at Hereford Street. I was cold, tired and knew I had a whopping blood blister on my foot but I didn't care. I knew that in just a few minutes, we'd be crossing the finish line of the 113th Boston Marathon.

Here's a photo of Team McManus coming down Boylston Street on 4/20/2009:



Our personal trainer, Janine Hightower is sporting the blue Spaulding Rehab t shirt. She ran us in from Heartbreak Hill and then would not cross the finish line with us saying "This is all yours."

Last year at 2:50pm there was no right on Hereford, left on Boylston Street for thousands of Boston Marathon runners.

Boylston St. was a place that I wanted to avoid but on 5/24th, as I scrolled through Facebook, I saw that there was going to be a #onerun.

From my memoir, "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility."

“Oh look they are doing a #onerun tomorrow,” Tom said.

“I am terrified to be a part of that,” I answered.

“Then we have to register,” Tom said.
...

And then we were off crossing the one mile to go marker in Kenmore Square where four years ago, Tom, our daughter Ruth Anne and I ran toward the finish line. I ran the 2009 Boston Marathon for those who couldn't and for those who were told they shouldn't run or would never be able to run again. Back then I was delivering a message of healing, hope and possibility. Yesterday, I was one with the survivors knowing they have a long road ahead for them but knowing that they, like me, would be able to go the distance.

We got to Hereford Street and I took a deep breath, as I knew we were going back to the Mandarin Oriental Hotel and passing The Forum where the second bomb exploded. As we passed in front of the Mandarin, we stopped for a brief moment to give our thanks to the staff who ensured our safety. The two doormen who had been there on Marathon Monday while we watched the race before going upstairs to join the Spaulding Rehab party were there. How healing and wonderful to see them, express our gratitude and be back on a part of Boylston Street I was afraid to visit.

I told Tom I was ready to sprint to the finish line. I said a prayer as we ran by The Forum. I sobbed as the crowds were cheering and we were surrounded by runners with their bib numbers from Marathon Monday and thousands of people who had been touched by the tragic events of April 15. At the finish line we shared stories with one another. We hugged. We cried. We healed.



On the 11 month anniversary of the bombings, Tom and I returned to Boylston Street. We had lunch at the Mandarin.



We took a photo of the finish line and said we will come back before the marathon to take a photo of the freshly painted finish line.



Today I am going back to Boylston Street. I am going to the Boston Marathon Memorial Exhibit at the Boston Public Library. Tom and I are going to meet for dinner at Stephanie's on Newbury Street. We met the operations manager at the Marathon Sports Cambridge 5 Miler/3 Mile City Walk. He was four feet away from the first bomb and carried his girlfriend to his car parked behind Stephanie's and brought her to the hospital. They were able to save her leg.

On Saturday, Sports Illustrated has invited Bostonians to come out for a photo shoot to demonstrate the true meaning of Boston Strong.

"Boston Strong is a story about people, ordinary people doing extraordinary things, ordinary people doing ordinary things. SI's creative director, Chris Hercik, believed the best way to tell this story a year later was to bring all those people, or as many as possible, into a single photo at the finish line. If you look at last year's cover photo, you see all that empty space all the way down Boylston Street filled by smoke and that backdrop of chaos and destruction. This year's photo fills those spaces with the Bostonians who wrote the Boston Strong story."