Sweet Seven Miles!

When I trained for the 2010 Tufts 10K, my beloved coach Domenick D'Amico suggested that I have at least one 7 mile run in the books. I knew yesterday was the day to go farther than the 10K distance. Tom is running the Around the Cape 25K today. Since yesterday was his rest day, he offered to be my support crew for my longest run since 2010.

Jamaica Pond is always my go to place when I need a good training run. I can feel Bill Rodgers' presence when I run around Jamaica Pond, the beautiful and sacred sweet spot he used to train for his Boston Marathon runs. It's a mix of shade and sun, runners, walkers, dogs, ducks, rocks, trees, tree roots, uphills, downhills and flat parts of the course that winds around Jamaica Pond.

Tom dropped me off, parked the car and found a shady spot on a bench.

I wasn't concerned about time. I wanted to see how my body felt going a longer distance than I had in 3 years. I have a PR playlist and recently added the Rocky Theme and We are the Champions by Queen. I used the time to visualize my running of the Tufts 10K. When I went to buy a new pair of my Altra 1.5 which I have been wearing since last year, I was really concerned that they were no longer making them. I get very nervous about changing shoes but the 2.0 Altra and in pink no less provided a lot of cushion and support as I journeyed 5 times around Jamaica Pond. Oh and if anyone is interested, it's 1.47 miles/lap.

There have been some challenging situations in my life as of late and I was really in a quandry of what direction to go in to diminish the stress I was experiencing. I told Tom after my 2nd time around that I needed to get this feeling of a brick off of my back. As I picked up my pace and allowed the magic and medicine of running do its thing, the solution that had been evading me became crystal clear. I couldn't wait to get back to my water stop to share my insight with him.

He said he would go the last two laps with me saying it would be a good warm up for today's race.

We also "picked off" walkers and runners in front of us as Tom encouraged me to do some fartleks. I was amazed at how much I still had left in the tank.

When we got home, I took an ice bath and knew that my reward of a spinach feta croissant from Saturday's road trip to Gloucester along with my chicken leftovers from The Abbey were waiting for me.

I hadn't felt the way I felt yesterday in my body since training for the 2009 Boston Marathon. I was hungry yet full and satisfied. I was tired and invigorated. I had a runner's high and I felt peaceful, happy and content.

My lunch tasted delicious and we fixed a chocolate smoothie to refuel.

A part of me got the endurance running bug again feeling like I could definitely train for a half marathon but right now I am thrilled with going the distance at the Tufts 10K in 6 weeks. Tom helped me to map out my training plan as we set our sights on my PR body and conditions willing.

I run for me now. I run for health. I run to feel that indescribable feeling in my body that comes with a seven mile run. I run to discover what's possible for me now and I run to push the edge of the envelope. I run to experience clarity and calm, exhilaration and wonder. I run because it is a part of who I am. I am so blessed to be able to run and to have the opportunity to express my life through my running. Sweet seven miles. It was great to feel you again.




"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

Rising to the Challenge

I told Tom that I would like a different 6.2 mile route as I train for the Tufts 10K. During my morning meditation, I had to clear out the memories from last week's training run that I wrote about in "Finding My Second Wind".

I know the race is not until October, but I have a lot of lost training ground to cover from when I took a two year running hiatus. Tom asked me what kind of a course I wanted. I told him that I wanted to run the route from our house to twice around Jamaica Pond and home. I had no idea what he had mapped out for us.

We wound through the narrow back streets of Brookline to Jamaica Pond. It was a little testy navigating with cars but we did it. What a wonderful feeling to have the vista of Jamaica Pond spread before us.



Something happens to me when I run around Jamaica Pond. Perhaps it is feeling the energy of Bill Rodgers. Jamaica Pond is where he trained for Boston. I didn't know that when we trained for the 2009 Boston Marathon. Our trainer would take us to Jamaica Pond for speed work and hills. We would do our long runs around Jamaica Pond because it was one of the few places with a clear path during winter. We have many fond memories of our Jamaica Pond training runs like the day that Tom lost me on our training run.

From my memoir, "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility":
And who could EVER forget us losing each other around - emphasize the word a-round Jamaica Pond. Tom had stopped at the car to fill up the water bottles and get some snacks. He had his iPod on really loud. I was in the zone and ran by him. I saw him looking for me in the opposite direction and yelled to him that I was over here. I felt so great and the weather was wonderful that I did not want to interrupt my rhythm. Finally, my daughter who had been going at her own pace came running up to me - where were you she asked? (well duh, we're going around in a circle) Dad is worried sick about you. He thought that since you had to go to the bathroom (and the bathrooms were not open yet) that you went off the trail and went to pee in the woods). We finally all caught up with one another and laughed so hard.

There is a beauty and majesty to Jamaica Pond. My soul settles when I am there and my body feels free.

Since we were out for a 6.2 mile run, I knew I had to pace myself. During our second time around, I told Tom that I was going to run up the hill just as we had done with my trainer. I felt a sense of exhilaration that I could rise to the challenge of running up the hill again.

The route home had a trail and steep hills. At first I told Tom that I never wanted to run this route again. It was so challenging.

And then there was a shift inside of me.

I thoroughly embraced the challenge. I experienced the expression, "I eat hills for breakfast." I loved feeling the different textures under my feet and I loved feeling nimble in my body as I navigated the uncertain terrain.

The terrain was uncertain yet I felt a confidence in my body.

A runner's high took on a whole new meaning for me. I paid close attention to my footing and to how I was feeling in my body.

Once back in the familiarity of our neighborhood where we would complete the 6.2 miles, I started running at a steady pace. I was amazed at how much I had left in the tank.

As I reflect on yesterday's training run, I realize that what fueled me was the feeling of rising to the challenge on a very difficult course.

Pushing myself and embracing the challenge holds me in good stead for whatever challenges may come my way in this journey we call life.

#transformationtuesday I'm a Runner

"I learned that the only requirement to be part of this wonderful group was to run. I didn't have to be fast. I didn't have to be great. I just had to run. And that's when running became not just something that I do but something that is a part of who I am." - John "The Penguin" Bingham

From my memoir: Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility available on Amazon

And then I felt a stirring in my second chakra (only then I didn’t know it was my second chakra – I thought it might have been something I ate). I went over to my laptop in the corner of the living room and I wrote this poem:

Running the Race
Early summer 1959 my kindergarten year
Everyone around me filled with nervous fear
Despite the Salk vaccine hope polio would disappear
The polio virus crept right up and knocked me in the rear.

Dancing all around the gym feeling free just like a bird
I dropped to the ground just like a stone
and no one said a word.
The pain it was so searing-the diagnosis even worse
"It's polio" the doctor said...he was abrupt and terse.

Called one of the 'lucky ones' I had a 'mild case'
But with the other athletes I could never keep their pace.
Miss Holly physical therapist,
curly hair and a warm, broad smile
It tempered the pain of being apart - to walk I'd take awhile.

I always wore those 'special' shoes
the kids they poked and teased
With no support and much abuse
with childhood I wasn't pleased.
But put nose to the grindstone and learned all that I could
I couldn't kick a ball but my grades were always good.

Years went by and no more thought to polio did I give
I accepted the limp and everything else
and decided my life I would live.
But symptoms of weakness and muscle pain did grow
I kept a stoic face hoping no one else would know.

Life no longer was my own I struggled through each day
Suffered in silence, isolated from friends-
trying to keep depression at bay.
And with the grace of glorious God my world it opened wide
I discovered there was a Post Polio team
and they were on my side.

Using wheelchair to travel, set limits on what I could do,
Resulted in joy to realize I could live life anew.
Celebrated my body- creaks, groans and need for a brace
While in my mind I focused on winning a 10K race.
Sought out paths for healing and my spirit flew free
For the first time in life, I could truly be me.

The chains are gone and possibilities abound
I'm a tree with my roots planted firmly in ground.
I'm now off the sidelines, no need to sit and whine
So much gratitude fills my heart and love and beauty shine.
After all these years I can join the loving human race
I exceed all expectations and now I set the pace.

And so began my journey of healing and transformation as a survivor of paralytic polio and severe trauma as I imagined winning a 10K race!

From my book release party at Marathon Sports Brookline going from outpatient rehab, to taking the leap to leave my award winning career as a VA social worker to being fitted with my first pair of running shoes - ever - at the age of 53:



Sharing what it was like to run Heartbreak Hill for the first time, our Boston Marathon run, leaving running and the running community after my nephew's suicide in 2011 and finding my way home to my life, my health, the running community and the Truth that as physically challenging as it is for me to run, I am a runner!



I donate 50% of royalty payments of the sale of my memoir, "Coming Home:A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" to the One Fund.

Connecting the Dots Mission Possible: The Talking Information Center

...Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when it leads you off the well worn path; and that will make all the difference."-Steve Jobs

"As it turns out, the only job we have available right now is with VIST. The mental health walk in coordinator job just got filled," the assistant chief of social work Jim Blair told me after my interview at the VA Outpatient Clinic in November 1988.

"But I have no experience working with people who are visually impaired," I replied.

"We'll train you," Jim said.

My favorite job in my social worker career was as the Visual Impairment Services Team Coordinator at the VA. I could use my marketing/public relations background with my masters degree in social work. My veterans taught me and I supported them in their adjustment to vision loss. We took field trips together and they opened my eyes to what it means to live life with strength and courage coping with the loss of the gift of sight.

Part of my job in helping veterans cope with vision loss was to make referrals to community resources that would support them to feel as independent and empowered as they could.

The Talking Information Center's mission is to broadcast information to inspire, empower and motivate the print impaired community. It was a way for my veterans to have access to newspapers, periodicals, consumer information and a wide range of programming through a radio that only required an on/off and volume button.

Fast forward to May 5, 2014 when through a friend of a friend's Facebook feed I discover that a visually impaired runner qualifies for Boston!

Randy Pierce went on to be a guest on The Talking Information Center's Mission Possible Show. Randy's work supports the New Hampshire Association for the Blind and Guiding Eyes for the Blind. I tweeted about his interview.

TIC reached out to me and asked if I would like to be a guest on Mission Possible.

On Monday, I took a tour of the agency that had made a tremendous difference in the lives of so many of my veterans. Sarah and John shared with me that a listener survey indicated that one of their favorite programs was the reading of the supermarket circulars each week so they could express their preferences to their significant others of what they would like to buy on sale each week. It's the little things in life that can make such a difference between feeling victimized by life's circumstances and feeling empowered to manage whatever life may set before us.

Sarah had done her research and posed questions that would allow me to share my journey and my message of healing, hope and possibility with ease.

She had covered the 2014 Boston Marathon for TIC and met members of Team With a Vision of Massachusetts Association for the Blind and Visually Impaired. She mentioned on air and off how inspiring it is to watch runners cross the finish line of the Boston Marathon. I could see that a spark was lit within her. She knew that if I had the courage and fortitude to run the Boston Marathon, so could she.

Coincidentally, I worked closely with the Mass Association for the Blind when I worked at the VA only it was called Vision Foundation at the time. One of my dear sweet veterans was a volunteer there for many, many years.

I am now connected with visually impaired athletes on Facebook and in real life.

I am thrilled to be going to Randy's Peak Potential Gala on 11/22.

It's beautiful to watch the dots connect as the beautiful tapestry of our lives is revealed.

You can listen to the podcast of my interview on Sound Cloud Mission Possible - Mary McManus.

My memoir, "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.

"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

Taking Chances

Runners World posted this quote this morning on Facebook.
"Sport, like all of life, is about taking your chances." ~ Sir Roger Bannister, MD the first man to break the 4 minute mile.

Seven years ago on 5/25/07, I took a huge chance. I walked away from my career as a VA social worker just "3 years shy of retirement" to heal my life and follow my passion as a poet and writer after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome in December of 2006.

In February of 2008, I took another huge chance by declaring that I wanted to run the 2009 Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital where I had taken the first steps on my healing journey. My personal trainer,Janine Hightower, my coach Domenick D'Amico, Spaulding's Race for Rehab Team, the Marathon Sports family and my family joined me in taking that chance and on 4/20/2009, we crossed the finish line of the Boston Marathon.



In 2011, in the wake of my nephew's suicide, I experienced a relapse of post polio syndrome.

I stopped running. I isolated myself from the running community. I went on a long and winding road trying to find my way home to myself.



After April of last year, I returned to the roads and to the running community.

At first, my plan was to run 5K's and not be concerned about my time.

Then I decided, I am going to train for the Tufts 10K in October.

Last Sunday, at the end of my 5 mile training run, I pushed myself to see what pace I could run for a short period of time.

I checked my Nike+ activity yesterday after our run on Heartbreak Hill. My pace is improving and yesterday, I was able to do negative splits.

I'm beginning to push myself again and test my limits with mindfulness. I feel this deep in my soul.

It was wonderful to return to the roads and the running community but it wasn't enough to just be out there. Although it is a miracle that, given the diagnosis and all that I have been through, I can run, I cannot settle for just being out there.

I am resurrecting the runner within me. I have my sights set on another half marathon but first I'll see how the Tufts 10K goes and how I respond to increased mileage. I believe that I can do this.

I don't know what's possible or how far or how fast I can go this time. Personal best is not just about the time on the finish line clock.

I am training now and giving it my all with a sense of purpose and passion.

The outcome doesn't matter.

What does matter is that I not settle.

What does matter is whether in sports or in life it's all about taking chances.

My memoir "Coming Home:A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.

#tbt Run For Your Life

As I was cleaning out the dormer, I came across the article we framed from the May 8, 2008 Brookline Tab:



I had saved the article and comments in a word document.

Since she was a little girl, Mary McManus had rarely moved faster than a walk.
But last month, the former polio patient bought her first pair of running shoes. And now she’s training for a marathon.
Paralyzed by polio at the age of 5, the Brookline mother of two now spends every day fighting back against the crippling effects of the disease that still threatens to rob her of her strength and mobility 50 years later. She said she won’t stop until she runs her first marathon.
“I just know with every fiber in my body that we will,” she said. “It’s all happening.”

McManus faces an uphill battle. Though polio itself has been virtually eradicated from the developed world, McManus is one of more than 440,000 Americans who could see a resurgence of symptoms decades later, according to the National Center for Health Statistics.
Scientists believe this resurgence, called post-polio syndrome, is a result of natural aging and stress on the motor neurons that survive an initial polio attack.

Polio survivors learn to depend on these motor neurons as they recover, and can live relatively normal lives before they give out later in life, according to Mary Cole, a senior occupational therapist at the International Center for Polio in Framingham.
“There’s usually a long period of stability,” said Cole. “If not, there’s something else going on.”
Cole teaches post-polio patients how to save their energy, and recommends that many start using the braces and canes they once used as kids. It’s about improving quality of life, she said.

“A lot of people think exercise is what can get you through this, and that’s not the case,” Cole said. “Most of these patients have been overusing these muscles, and we need to find a balance.”

But McManus said she refuses to slow down. She wants to prove that other post-polio patients don’t have to, either.
“I’m here to let them know that that might be true for some people, it doesn’t have to that way,” she said.

I smile as I read this and realize that I was running for my life.

I had no idea what I was doing. Check out the attire I wore. It's like a throwback to Bill Rodgers running in a t shirt and garden gloves back in the 70's.

I relied on the guidance of my personal trainer. In October of 2008, I met Spaulding Rehab's Race for Rehab coach and trainer. Domenick D'Amico who promised to get us to the starting line healthy and to the finish line with a smile. From my memoir, "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility:"

We walked into the conference room at the old Spaulding Rehab Hospital on Nashua Street in Boston for our pre race team meeting. I was overcome with emotion to realize that just two years earlier, I was being seen in the outpatient clinic facing a grim and uncertain future. Here I was walking over the thresh hold and through the doors of the conference room with my husband and daughter by my side to join the 2009 Spaulding Hospital Race for Rehab team.

We introduced ourselves and then were introduced to our beloved coach, Domenick D’Amico who told us his job was to get us to the starting line healthy and to the finish line with a smile. I was terrified, excited, determined and feeling fierce and feisty that I, Mary McManus, a polio survivor was going to run the 2009 Boston Marathon.

But I wasn't running to only reclaim my life; to move out of a mindset of disability and emotional and physical paralysis. I had a purpose that I felt and continue to feel deep in my soul. I was running to inspire others as reflected in the comments from the article:

DEAR MARY I'M SO PROUD OF YOU AND WISH YOU THE BEST OF THE BEST AT EVERY GOAL YOU ARE A GREAT WOMAN, I'M THINKING ABOUT MY LIFE IS A POST POLIO PERSON AND WISH I CAN DO THE SAME YOU DOING NOW
GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY
RAUL CORNEJO

Hello Mary, i stumbled onto your story.
I had polio when i was 14 months old; 27 years after, i still struggle with the physical and 'mostly' the emotional trials that accompany polio.
I'm a doctor,so daily i encounter people with a variety of challenging conditions and i constantly draw strength from how different people embrance their unique situations.
I am particularly inspired by your unrelenting spirit, 50 years on!
I just got back from taking a long walk.
I was thinking about my life in general and saying to myself, are you just going to give in to polio without a fight?
I decided that i'll start running in the evenings to strengthen my calfs and increase my muscle bulk. During my walk, i also dealt with some emotional issues... but i digress.
I got home and got on the internet to see if there where any researched exercise routines benefical to polio survivors, i wanted to be sure running was safe.
I got a lot of info, the unianimous advice was, don't over exert yourself, complete with the medical explanations why overexertion could be harmful.
I know running may be a stretch for me, i don't know how beneficial it will be, but i know that miracles still do happen.
Polio will not hinder me anymore. I am definately gonna give it a shot.
I'll come back here to let you know my improvement.
I am very inspired by your determination and i thank you for sharing your story.
God bless you.

Hi Mary. I was listening to the radio the other night and I heard your interview. I don't know if you remember me but you took care of my husband George Murray while at the VA hospital as well as saving my life on a daily basis back then. You were truly my angel. I am so happy to have an opportunity to thank you for all you did for me back then and I have often wondered about how you were and then I heard you quite by accident as I still get up really early but the radio was on and I immediately recognized your voice. Do I think you will run this marathon, absolutely. You will do it. I am sorry you have gone through these health problems but you sound wonderful. I am going to get your book and I know I will love it. God bless you and I know he does.
Love

Maureen Murray

If you'd met Mary last year and then again today, you will be pleasantly surprised by the changes in her. She positively radiates with energy and good cheer. If exercise is how she's made the changes then I definitely want to start moving more too. It would be nice to have a follow-up after she has run her marathon.
Beth Blutt

I think it is awesome that she has been able to rebuild her strength a second time. I am encouraged now to continue exercising myself and continue to accomplish as much as I can in my golden years instead of settling for couch potato status.
Linda DuPre

I'm still running for my life today. I don't run as far or as fast as I did. I'm still running to inspire others. And I'm still running to spread a message of healing, hope and possibility.

Countdown to Boston-Moving On

It's not easy to move one.

I had to learn how to move on after contracting paralytic polio at the age of 5.

After 9 years of unrelenting childhood trauma, I had to find a way to move on with my life. One month after my father committed suicide, I arrived as a freshman at Boston University in 1971.

After being diagnosed with post polio syndrome in December of 2006, I wasn't sure how I would ever be able to move on with my life but I ended up running the 2009 Boston Marathon as a mobility impaired runner.



Three years ago, after my nephew's suicide in March, I wasn't sure how I would be able to move on. I thought I would never return to running and thought for sure that at that time, all that I had endured would finally win. But my Spirit wouldn't let that happen and I was able to move on.

And most recently there was 4/15/13....

One more long run and then taper time for those training for Boston 2014. For me, I have one more support crew for Spaulding Rehab's last long run next Saturday, one more fundraiser, Greg Gordon's Boston Marathon Fundraiser, "Singing Boston Strong: An Evening of A Cappella to Benefit Spaulding Rehab", BAA Packet Stuffing and our L Street Pre Marathon Meeting.

On the 11 month anniversary of the Boston Marathon bombings, I could feel emotions begin to thaw and flow just like the lakes, ponds, and reservoirs are doing here in New England. The time of busy-ness is winding down for me. It's time to allow healing to happen and move on.


As we countdown to Boston, I realized that I needed a new bodywork practitioner who could bring me to a place of deeper relaxation and healing through massage and bodywork. My previous practitioner and I were out of sync. I realized that the dynamics in our relationship were not healthy. I knew this time of healing was too important in my life to settle for anything less than what I needed to continue to heal especially as we approach the anniversary of 4/15/13.

I was so blessed to find my way to Sollievo Massage and Bodywork in Cambridge. My new therapist, Joseph Brescia, LMT is a trained mental health practitioner and has over 20 years of experience as a massage therapist. He incorporates several modalities into the 90 minute session and I feel a renewed sense of healing, hope and possibility as I take my healing journey to the next level.

I notice that traumatic memories from my past that still need healing are surfacing in my body in the wake of 4/15/13 but they are also being released to create space and freedom for me to fully live. I notice the physical sensations from that day coming to the surface. They seem to have a mind of their own but in truth it is the energy from experiencing the bombings, then needing to evacuate and all that was experienced absorbed in my body that is working its way through me. I continue to experience a deep sense of gratitude for how blessed we were to be spared so much that day.

And my heart is open and filled with gratitude for the blessings and the healing that have come out of the tragic events of last year's Boston Marathon. I had gone into the day with high hopes that perhaps this was the year Ernst van Dyk would win his 10th Boston. I had wonderful expectations for celebrating my 2009 Boston Marathon run with several of my Race for Rehab teammates regaling them as they entered the ballroom as I was once regaled. While none of that would happen and instead we were faced with a day filled with tragedy, I have been blessed to rekindle connections with people I had lost touch with since 2009, deepen friendships with people in my life, move on from relationships that were rife with struggle and old patterns, and connect with new friends through a common bond of love and healing. There is unconditional love and acceptance and listening with compassion.

On Friday evening, Team McManus, made a decision that we are not going to return to the Mandarin Oriental Hotel this year to be with Spaulding Rehab and the Race for Rehab Team. We knew that given the size of the team and the emotional frenzy that is sure to accompany this year's marathon, that being there would not give us an opportunity to heal and move on. I could feel my nervous system ignite when I thought about being back in the Suite at the Mandarin. I realized that I needed to make peace with what was and to allow all of the emotions to wash through me.

We will be outside in Brookline on Marathon Monday not far from where we live beaming love and smiles for all of our friends who will lace up their shoes and are running Boston 2014 as they move on from 4/15/13.

Saturday evening, I attended a fund raiser for Katie Eastman of Team Miles4Smiles. It was as much a group therapy session as it was a fund raiser. One of the beautiful people I met as a result of 4/15/13 is Elizabeth Comeau. Today she writes about moving on in her blog Day 28: The Spot.

Yesterday, my friend Tina Perry Karas' was interviewed on WBZ. Tina is one of the friend's I reconnected with by renewing my membership with L Street after the bombings realizing how important it is to stay connected with those who matter most to us. We have known each other since 2010 when I was a speaker at the L Street Pre Marathon Meeting to inspire the runners. In 2011, she was kind enough to videotape my impromptu speech at the behest of Club President "Mac" to fill in while Greg Meyer made his way to the Club.

WGBH news posted this article this morning with the theme One Year Later: At Site of Marathon Bombing, Gearing up for Another One. It features, Jon Masters a new friend I met through Elizabeth and my beloved Marathon Sports family.

And here's how two Boston Marathon bombing survivors are moving on after their lives were forever changed almost one year ago:

Adrianne Haslet-Davis dances again on the stage at TED.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2587434/Boston-bombing-survivor-Jeff-Bauman-announces-engagement-long-term-girlfriend-happy-couple-expecting-child-July.html

As we count down to Boston, each one in their own unique way is finding ways to heal and move on. But none of us is moving on alone. We are moving forward as a community whose fabric has been made stronger by the very events that tested its strength. We run together. We heal together. We move on together.

Fiery Determination

I sent out an email blast about the release of my memoir, "Coming Home: A Message of Healing, Hope and Possibility."



After she sent me an email of congratulations, I said to Diana Cullum-Duggan that while I did not mention her per se in my memoir, she was certainly an important part of my healing journey. She offered yoga at no charge pre and post marathon to the members of the 2009 Boston Marathon team. She said:

Didn't expect to be mentioned, Mary. I was a blip on the radar of health for you. You found a team of practitioners that have helped you, along with your fiery determination to heal.

Well Diana was more than a blip on the radar as she gave her time and treasure to support us on our road to the Boston Marathon through yoga and meditation and in post run recovery.

But she said something very important to me in that she acknowledged my fiery determination.

Last week we met with Dr. Chris Carter, the team psychologist for Spaulding's Race for Rehab team to talk about Looking Back and Looking Ahead as we approach the one year anniversary of the Boston Marathon bombings and get ready for the 2014 Boston Marathon.

He and others who were in attendance who worked with the survivors at Spaulding spoke to how inspired they were by the determination, strength and courage of the survivors. Here is a link to a CBS interview with Dr. Carter: Experts think that anniversary of Boston Marathon could come with anxiety for some...

In the article and at last week's meeting, Dr. Carter talked about the importance of community for healing.

When I was growing up, I was completely isolated and ostracized; a combination of growing up in a home rife with chemical dependency and violence and the results of contracting paralytic polio at age 5. I cut myself off from myself, dissociating from my body and from others. By the time I was 52 years old, my body had virtually shut down crying out for healing.

My first sense of community was through Spaulding Rehab's International Rehab Center for Polio being cared for by a multidisciplinary team of caring providers. And then I went on to become a part of the Marathon Sports family and the running community at large as I embraced the challenge of a lifetime, running the 2009 Boston Marathon.

Physically I had no business running a marathon but spiritually and emotionally fueled by the love and support of so many, I felt a fiery determination in my soul and went from polio shoes in February of 2008 to the finish line of the Boston Marathon 2009.

Two years ago, after my nephew's suicide, I experienced a relapse of post polio symptoms. I would not stop and I would not settle. In the wake of the bombings, I returned to the roads after a two year hiatus and continued to seek out paths for healing. How blessed that I could find my way to the Aquatics Therapy program where twice a week, with fiery determination, I continue to build my strength.

I have been so blessed by healing angels throughout my life and especially during my 7 year healing odyssey after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome. I am especially blessed that somewhere, somehow, I kept hope alive through the most horrific events one person can experience and that my fiery determination would not let me quit even though it seemed as though I was doing so against all odds.

TBT - March 6, 2009 - Breaking Free & Rebirth - Hill Training Part II

Breaking Free
Tiny buds on the trees - a warm March sun
Snow and ice on the ground - winter not yet done.
Each beat of my heart senses end to the night
From darkness/despair my soul now takes flight.
Running free on the hill embracing the day
Memories of braces and canes all melt away.
So grateful to God for the healing inside
The warmth of the sun pries my heart open wide.

The frigid temperatures yielded to 29 degrees yesterday morning but the sun was warm allowing Ruth Anne and I to head outside with our personal trainer, Janine for Hill Training Part II. Since I knew we were going to do intensive cardio training, we ate breakfast almost an hour earlier and had only one piece of toast instead of two. For long runs, we need the fueling but for a short, intense cardio work out, less fuel is more. Janine was radiant when she arrived and we were so grateful that we could train outside. She was going to demonstrate to us how much fitness we had gained in just one week.

We warmed up with our 5 minute walk and then a 5 minute jog - I could easily keep pace with her this week as we did our warm up run and then the moment of truth. Drop the water belts in the snow and on your mark, get set, go - I made it up the hill with relative ease on the first run with my heart rate going up to 170. I even felt like jogging down which I could not do after the first hill the week before. And so off we went pushing and pushing allowing my heart rate to get up to 176 and doing the hill in about 1:06 - 10 seconds off the previous week. By the fifth time up the hill I was feeling a little nauseous but nothing like last week When I felt uneasy after our first run the week before. I also know that the cross training on the bike boosted my fitness level.

While we recovered from the runs up the hill and on the jog home, we talked about life and laughter and what's happening in our lives beyond training for the Marathon (yes, Virginia, there is life beyond Marathon training). Janine shared with us that she is now doing personal training via Skype for one of her clients who moved to Paris! Boston Homebodies goes international. Her client was unable to find a trainer in Paris and asked if she could continue to work with Janine using Skype. Ruth Anne talked about the opportunity for a summer internship and plans to transfer to Cal State and I talked about book signings, events, customized poetry and my process of transformation.

Janine had been listening to NPR and heard someone say that they loved their depression. Why? because the deeper you go into the dark, the closer you get to the light. That is so true! I have been going deep into the dark night of my soul - polio, childhood abuse, and growing up learning utter deprivation, lack and limitation as a human being - BUT my Spirit could not be touched and tarnished by any of these experiences and I am learning to break free of the myths and untruths that I learned growing up. At times it is a tortuous process but God has sent me so many angels to help in the process of rebirth and transformation. And what a beautiful sign we received yesterday as we saw the bright, deep blue sky, felt the warmth of the sun and saw signs of rebirth in the tiny buds on the trees.

The Magic of Heartbreak Hill

When we were training for the 2009 Boston Marathon, we wanted to get a break from the brutal New England winter. We spent 5 days in Puerto Rico. On the plane ride home, we did not have seats together. Ruth Anne sat in front of me and struck up a conversation with the two people who flanked her on either side. "Oh man," she said. "I have to get up early to go on an 18 mile training run." Little did she know that she was telling this to Johnny Kelley (the elder's) nephew. Tom Kelley and his wife Dot were enthralled with the story of Team McManus. They sent us an autographed photo of Johnny Kelley and told us that he would be watching over us on Marathon Monday.



They told us stories about Johnny and shared with us that his theme song was, "Young at Heart." It was played at the unveiling of his statue on Heartbreak Hill:




From the first time I ran on Heartbreak Hill on January 24, 2009, I felt its magic.

Yesterday, Tom and I did a five mile run from Newton Wellesley Hospital to Lowell Ave. and back. We hadn't done that part of the course together since we ran it in 2009.

The energy was electric. Runners were going up and down Heartbreak Hill. Everyone said good morning and the feeling of #weruntogether was never more palpable in the City.

Two young girls ran up to us and said, "Excuse me, can you tell us where Heartbreak Hill is?" We said, "This is it. It began at the corner of Comm. Ave. and Washington St." They giggled with delight that they were on Heartbreak Hill obviously training for their first Boston. "We don't have too far to go do we?" "Where you going?" we asked. They said BC. Our advise was to take it one mile at a time.

We then passed these huge trucks and my husband asked what was going on. We were told that NBC is shooting the first pilot in Boston in 20 years for a show called Odyssey about international espionage.

We continued on our run and turned around after reaching Lowell Ave.

As some runners were trudging up Heartbreak Hill we would give thumbs up, say you're looking good and I began saying (much to my husband's chagrin) We Run Together!



Frowns and struggles turned to smiles.

I know that I am not running Boston this year but I can certainly lend my energy, my smile and my support to all those training for Boston. And I can share with others the magic of Heartbreak Hill.

Do you have a favorite Heartbreak Hill moment? Do you remember the first time you ran Heartbreak Hill? If so, please leave a comment.

Feaster Five: My Best Race Ever!

Our Thanksgiving holiday began Wednesday afternoon when we went to pick up our bib numbers and race schwag at the Feaster Five Expo.



I first met the Striders in Hyannis in February of 2009 at the pre race pasta dinner as Team McManus was preparing to run their first half marathon in preparation for the 2009 Boston Marathon. They invited me to speak at their December 2010 meeting. Here I am with Al Pappalardo and Channel 7's Steve Cooper:



and here's Tom Licciardello handling the sound system for the speakers



We stayed in touch on and off through the years but after the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings, there was a feeling among many in the running community about the importance of staying connected with each other.

I've always wanted to run the Feaster Five. I had not recovered after the 2009 Boston Marathon to run the Feaster in 2010 and then wasn't feeling well enough to run after the 2011 Brookline Symphony Orchestra 5K. But this year it was my time!

It was an emotional reunion with my Strider friends
Tom L. and me


Al Pappalardo and me:


Tom's wife Lyn and me:


More MVS love:


and MVS gear including tumblers for the One Fund:


I had a reunion with Ric Beaudoin who was the first Strider that I met at Hyannis who wanted me to speak at the Striders' meeting to share my inspirational story and Dick Hoyt and Kathy Boyer who have known me since February of 2009. We are all healing; the bombings have resulted in close bonds and a resolve to allow love triumph over hatred.

I went to bed early and got up at 5:00am to leave by 6:00am to ensure that we would get good parking at the race. It was cold and windy but we got to watch the sunrise. So much heat was generated among the throngs of runners. It took us 10 minutes to get to the start!

The course involves a really steep uphill at the beginning of the race for a good half mile:



It wasn't a PR according to my time.

4985 258/393 F5059 59:46 49:43 16:01 Mary McManus 59 F 3663 Chestnut Hill MA

But it certainly was a PR according to how I felt in my body and during the race. It was 2 minutes slower than the Brookline Symphony Orchestra 5K Fun Run & Walk but it also had a huge almost mile hill at the start of the race and another small hill at the end of the race as compared to the Brookline Symphony Orchestra's 5K Fun Run & Walk fast, two loop course around the Reservoir.

According to my Nikeplus, I did negative splits:
17:28 mile 1 (which included a slow walk in getting to the start)
32:27 mile 2 (14.99 minute/mile pace)
46:23 mile 3 (13.96 minute/mile pace)

It was the first race that I ran that I felt I was in the middle of the pack. That's because I was in the middle of the pack; 4985/6135 finishers for the 5K. I wasn't too shabby in my age group either and this is the last race before I enter a new age group!

I've been used to being a back of the pack runner and watching a sea of runners fade into the distance in front of me. But the Feaster's field is different and it was an amazing experience for me to be passing runners and walkers.

As we headed for the finish, Ric Beaudoin stands atop a ladder calling out names of the runners spurring them onto the finish. We called out his name and he said, "And here comes Tom and Mary McManus all the way from Newton, Massachusetts."

Our daughter Ruth Anne met us at the finish line and she commented on how I was absolutely glowing looking so different than I had after any other race.

I ran in 30 degree weather; mercifully there was not a lot of wind during the race and there was the beautiful course through the Andover neighborhood. I was present in my body and delighted in each moment of the race. I was racing out there today.

The Feaster Five: my best race ever and my best Thanksgiving ever!




Thanksgiving from Seasons of the Soul available on Amazon

Make every day a feast of giving thanks
serving up heaping helpings of happiness
health and joy

be with the ones you love
------especially yourself
and feel your heart overflow
because there is so much gratitude stuffed inside.

Feast your eyes on beauty and wonder
feed your heart on kindness and compassion
forgive and remember love lasts
laughter heals.

Taste the sweetness that life has to offer
breathe deeply
as the scents of the season
delight the senses.

A Trip Up Heartbreak Hill - A Trip Down Memory Lane - "Today, Records Fell"

In training for the Feaster Five on Thanksgiving morning, I have been incorporating hill training since the beginning of the race is a .5 mile steep hill. There is also a smaller hill at the end of the race.

Yesterday morning I told Tom that I wanted to train on Heartbreak Hill. When we Googled the distance from Walnut Street to Lake Street, spanning most of Heartbreak Hill, Google said it would be 2.3 miles each way. Cool!

I set my Nike+ app and off we went.

We often associate triggers with a negative connotation of flashbacks and unpleasant experiences. Only yesterday, being on Heartbreak Hill for the first time since 2009, triggered a flood of wonderful memories:

I noticed the details of the way the stones are inlaid on the carriage road on Commonwealth Avenue. I remembered finding a Helen Keller Quarter from my blog 4/5/2009

As we were heading out along Beacon Street here in Brookline, Mass., I saw a penny. Those of you who have read my blog know that we have had a lot of signs with finding money while we trained. There were a herd of runners behind us and I knew that if I stopped to pick this penny up, I could get trampled and then where would I be after a year of training and being on the threshold of running the Marathon. So I felt God's Presence and ran on. While on Heartbreak Hill, my daughter stopped in her tracks. Buried in the crack in the sidewalk on Heartbreak Hill, my daughter spotted a quarter - not just any quarter but a quarter dedicated to Helen Keller. Her quotes and life story have always been a major source of inspiration to me and Bernie Siegel, MD (who through the years has been a guiding healing light for me) has quoted her so many times in his talks, books and on his forum. During the last two miles of our training run, we found two more pennies - 27 cents! Not 26 but 27 so God is letting us know that we have what we need to go the distance....


Our first run on Heartbreak Hill which was mapped out by our beloved coach for Spaulding Rehab, Domenick D'Amico. And then on Marathon Monday being greeted by a teary eyed Domenick who gave each of us a hug and told us to go get our medal.

We remembered coming home from Puerto Rico in January of '09 and our daughter sitting next to Johnny Kelley's nephew and his wife. She was bemoaning the fact that she had to get up early and do an 18 miler in the cold and snow after having 5 days in the warmth of Puerto Rico. His nephew's wife told us that Johnny would be watching over us every time we trained on Heartbreak Hill and especially on Marathon Monday. He was with us every step of the way. After we met them, my theme became the title of Johnny's autobiography, "Young at Heart"



But something was incredibly different on this Heartbreak Hill run. I felt so different in my body. I had a wonderful stride and I could experience my subtle body energy.


I use Nike+ to track my workouts now to support Marathon Sports and #bostrong.

As the voice of Nike+ began marking the miles, I knew that we were going farther than the 4.6 miles on Google maps. But I had no choice but to finish out the run because we parked our car at Walnut Street and had to do an out and back loop. {Tom thinks that perhaps my Nike+ took into account the elevation while calculating the distance--who knows?). While I felt tired toward the end of the run, I also felt that I still had a lot in the tank which really surprised me. I am going to taper for the Feaster Five and maintain at the 5K distance which we opted for thinking that there is no way I would be able to run 5 miles again but after the race, I am going to begin to slowly and steadily build mileage and see how my body responds.

Here are the results from my workout according to Nike+

5.33 miles
Average pace 14"34"/mile
Total time 1:17:49
Splits:
Mile 1 13"
Mile 2 27:13
Mile 3 41:47
Mile 4 57:07
Mile 5 1:12:58
Mile 5:33 1:17:49

Nike reminded me that "Today, records fell." Okay it was only my 2nd Nike+ run but indeed records did fall.
I ran the farthest and fastest that I have run in the past 7 months since I began to run again after a 2 year running hiatus. My 5K time was 43:36. My time at the Brookline Symphony Orchestra 5K Fun Run & Walk was 47:50 - a 15:26/mile pace. I wasn't trying to go faster. I was not pushing myself in my body. I was in tune with my body moving from the inside out. There was a sense of unbridled joy being back on Heartbreak Hill, feeling the sun on our faces and a sense of coming home inside of my human form free from the ravages of trauma and paralytic polio.

Tom snapped this photo of me at the Johnny Kelley statue:


Today I am sore and it's a rest and recovery day but overall I feel strong and present in my body after taking a run up Heartbreak Hill and a trip down memory lane. But just like my 2009 run was so much bigger than me -- my healing journey is a message to all who were affected by the events on Marathon Monday -- that we do heal, we do become stronger and love and community is far more powerful than violence.

While I am not running Boston 2014, I am cheering on my friends in person and in social media supporting them with donations if they are running for a charity and feel so blessed to be a part of this amazing community. We are Boston Strong!


Ode to Marathon Training - March 22, 2009 from A Celebration of Life available on Amazon
Blisters, black toes, aches and pains, a change in my routine
Long training runs, the hills, the sprints-running clothes fresh and clean.
Carbo load and plan each meal power gels and gatorade
no matter what the weather no time to be afraid.
Humid - hot or freezing cold snow against the face
wind or sun or raining those running shoes I must lace.
What mile is this how long we been out check heart rate drink H20
meltdowns joys and triumphs only a few more weeks to go.
Heartbreak Hill won't break my heart this year has been the best
found myself and made new friends I feel incredibly blessed.