#flashbackfriday My Runner's Scrapbook - "Where you stumble and fall, there lies your treasure."

I was feeling sadness around leaving my running and the running community for almost two years. Truth be told, I did not have a relapse of post polio symptoms. The modality that was supposed to be helping me heal, KMI Structural Integration, instead was creating confusion in my body.There was a lot of emotional and physical damage done through the work that joyfully I am now able to heal. As a trauma survivor, I had a wonderful way of believing something was good for me when in fact it could not have been more wrong for me. While it's true I live with the late effects of having contracted paralytic polio and the effects of trauma, I was at the top of my running game. There was still much more that needed to heal and strengthen but needing to stop running was not because of the progression of post polio syndrome. I was vulnerable after my nephew's suicide in March of 2011 and they preyed on my vulnerability.

Tom reminded me last night about how I cried after one of the first Aquatics Therapy classes at Spaulding Rehab. "This is where I belong," I said with tears streaming down my face. "I never belonged on a yoga mat in that studio. It was just so wrong for me." The people who I followed were master manipulators and convinced me that running was bad for me. Because I wasn't allowing my body to be as it needed to be, I did not have the energy or the desire to run. I remember the moment I stumbled off of my healing path and bought into something that a private yoga teacher said to me. "Are you working with your bodyworker on this structural imbalance?" "I don't have a bodyworker right now I replied. "Well then you are going to see my teacher. He can help you fix this."

As Joseph Campbell says:



Rather than focus on the detour and my sadness, I want to celebrate my running journey and finding my greatest treasure last Sunday with a PR at the Bill Rodgers 5K Run/Walk for Prostate Cancer as I remembered and reclaimed who I am!

Let's begin with my early training run that was chronicled in The Brookline Tab, "Run Don't Walk" was the title of the article. Don't you just love my running threads? It was shortly after this photo that I went to Marathon Sports and bought the proper running attire to go with my first pair of running shoes ever.


My first race ever - The Corrib Pub Run 5K on 6/1/2008. My pace was a 16:44 minute/mile. It was an accomplishment to have run for 40 continuous minutes at that point in my training.


The Marathon Sports 5 Miler July 2008 and finishing last yet feeling like a champion for not quitting despite the heat and having all the polio demons rear their head:


Tufts 10K October 2008, "Running with God" as I wrote about in an article for Cape Healing Arts Magazine. My daughter and I ran our first 10K race together and finished with a time of 1:26:14. A 13:53 minute/mile pace!


And who could ever forget the Tough Ten Mile Turkey Trot in November of 2008. The entry fee was 10 canned goods/person. The timing method was popsicle sticks. The hills were brutal but Team McManus was filled with joy. Oh yes and did I mention it was fareezing cold that day?


My first Half Marathon in Hyannis. How lucky was I to be inspired and encouraged by Bill Rodgers and Frank Shorter.


And then Boston 2009:


I did have to take a time out from running for more physical therapy and treatment of cervical spine disease after the marathon. I could no longer strength train with my personal trainer. But you can't keep a runner down for long and by summer of 2010, I was running again and training for Tufts. I had a friend who had never run a 10K. It was time to give back. We trained together and crossed the finish line of the 2010 Tufts 10K with a time of 1:36:10. We had the best time together and what a joy to help someone cross the finish line of their first 10K.


I was racing a 5K a month and by December of 2010 had my best time ever at the Jingle Bell 5K with a 13:43 minute/mile pace:


My friend and I ran the Hyannis 10K in 2011 and bested our Tufts time finishing with a 14:30 minute/mile pace for a time of 1:30:05. Tom was training for Boston and ran the Half. Here we are with Dick Hoyt.


I ran two more races in 2011 and could feel that I was losing my edge and my joy of running. By September of 2011, I called it quits....

Reunited and it felt so good at the Feaster Five Expo in November of 2013


and out on the course


I trained during that grueling winter through the Polar Vortex and found my strength in Aquatics Therapy.

What a joy to celebrate my race-iversary at the Corrib Pub 5K with Tom and my dear friends the Feeney Sisters


They cheered me onto a strong finish:


I wasn't planning to run any other races until the Tufts 10K, but the Universe had other plans for me with the Bill Rodgers 5K Run/Walk for Prostate Cancer where I was once again inspired and encouraged by four time Boston Marathon champion Bill Rodgers

and went on to run a 5K PR of 46:53 at a pace of 15:06 since my return to the roads


And a post race celebration that will live forever in my heart


But I don't rest on my laurels. With a 5K PR behind me, tomorrow I begin training for Tufts 10K 2014. The time to beat 1:36:10. I'll have my daughter to pace me and will know that my husband and Tom Licciardello will be waiting for me at the finish. I've begun to imagine the magic of the day knowing that there are going to be many more wonderful memories to add to my runner's scrapbook. And as for that stumble into the abyss, well it happens but I found my gold!

And to those who told me that I had to correct my arches, stand this way, move that way; this is the proper alignment. To those who believe that change comes from the outside in and there is something to fix. To those who told me I was out of balance that my thoracic spine did not have enough movement and on and on it went..... To those who humiliated me, mocked me and used me for their own personal gain in the name of helping me. To all of you - this is my response:

“The true runner is a very fortunate person. He has found something in him that is just perfect.” ~George Sheehan




"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

Running Family-We Run Together

We were standing in the ballroom at the Resort and Conference Center in Hyannis on the eve of the 2009 Hyannis Marathon, Half Marathon and 10K. I had butterflies as I anticipated running my first half marathon in a race. I'd gone the distance in terms of putting in the miles but had not run a half marathon in a race. I stood beside Olympic Gold Medalist Frank Shorter and four time Boston Marathon champion Bill Rodgers waiting to get their autographs. But I would also meet someone who would bring me into the fold of the running family that meant far more than the autographs I was about to receive.



Frank Shorter talked about doping in sports during the pre race pasta dinner festivities. Ric Beaudoin, a runner who had his own story of transformation through running, and member of both the L Street Running Club and Merrimack Valley Striders was waiting to ask Frank a question. Ric being Ric and me being me - both outgoing and talkative people, struck up a conversation.

After he heard what I was about to do, he introduced me to members of the Striders who he was with and told me he would have to get me to speak at his Club. He was moved and inspired by my story.

There was a reporter from the Cape Cod Times in the ballroom after the race. I boldly went up to him and shared my story despite feeling slightly hypothermic and nauseous from ignoring my pacing and fueling plan during the last 3 miles of the race when it began to sleet and snow.

Mary McManus, 55, of Brookline completed her first half-marathon after making a remarkable recovery from a life-long battle against post-polio syndrome.

She spent time at the Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital and began running just last February. She competed in her first race in June 2008, finishing a 5K.

"It's like having a new lease on life," said McManus, who ran yesterday's half-marathon with husband Tom. "I was limping my way through life, but then decided to do something about it."

I spoke at the Striders meeting later that year and in 2010 when I was a guest speaker along with Steve Cooper of Boston's Channel 7 news.



After 4/15/13, the bonds in our running family grew closer than ever. We all realized how precious and fragile life is. What matters most are our relationships; the loving bonds that weave together to create the very fabric of life.

After this year's Boston Marathon, I kept saying to my Strider friends that I needed to get back for a meeting. Tom Licciardello told me that we are welcome any time. They meet in Lawrence which is a good 45 minute drive from Brookline. When I got the Facebook invitation about the meeting with the theme meeting old and new friends, I knew I needed to go.

Hugs, laughter and joy reverberated throughout the room. There was time for socializing and time for club business. The vice president, Al Stgermain welcomed new members, celebrated recent accomplishments of club members, and acknowledged and honored those who were injured and healing providing words of support and encouragement.

I was blessed to spend time with Marcie and Paul DiLorenzo. They have had a fantastic journey on and off of the roads. They were married at the Falmouth Road Race four months after 4/15/13 when we all needed something to celebrate. They are the proud parents of 3 boys. Everyone wanted a chance to see their latest edition, Radley aka Rad. Marcie posts the "daily smoosh" photos on facebook that always bring a sense of joy and clever comments.

Marcie and Paul wanted to get a picture of me holding Rad:



I took these photos of Tom holding the "smoosh" along with other photos that capture the feeling of a running family gathering together:



And here's a photo Paul took of "the smoosh with members of our running family"



We talked about mountains climbed and miles conquered. We talked about life's challenges that continue to be placed in front of us and offered hugs, love, support and words of encouragement.

We were all genuinely happy to see one another and be together planning what races would bring us back together again.

No matter what happens on the roads or in our lives, we know that we have a beautiful, strong, loving running family that is there to share life and running's joys, triumphs and tribulations. We do run together!




My memoir, "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.

"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

The Importance of Sharing Our Stories-Courage to be Vulnerable

I was blessed to meet champions Bill Rodgers and Frank Shorter at the 2009 Hyannis Marathon before and after I ran my first half marathon ever.



When I came into the ballroom, Frank Shorter made sure he connected with me amidst the thousands of runners celebrating after the race. He could tell that the run had taken a lot of out of me. I was shivering from the sleet that had started falling during the last several miles of the race. He put both of his hands on either side of my arms, looked at me straight in the eye and told me how much courage and strength I had to do what I had just done. He told me he had no doubt that I was going to cross the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon. He told me to hydrate, get some hot soup and take a hot shower. He signed the back of my bib.

Fast forward to yesterday as the media frenzy begins with the coverage of the 2014 Boston Marathon. I saw this Runner's World article about Frank Shorter deciding to not run Boston this year, although he had begun to train for it. He would rather return to covering the event for Universal Sports which is where he was when the bombs exploded last year. There was a line in the article that caught my eye:

Shorter remembered his own experience with childhood abuse,

I clicked on the link: Frank's Story from a 2011 Runner's World article.

Frank had seen me as a survivor of paralytic polio who came out of a wheelchair and leg brace to take on the Boston Marathon. I saw him through my starry eyes of meeting an Olympic Gold Medalist and an elite runner in every sense of the word.

When I met him in 2010 at Hyannis, I had brought my bib from Boston for him and Bill Rodgers to sign. Frank Shorter signed it: To Mary, You're unbelievable.



Neither one of us knew that we lived through the same terror and fear with fathers who were psychotic and inflicted unimaginable physical and emotional harm on their children. Frank had not shared his story until 2011. Yet the two of us shared this deep, powerful connection with each other; almost a wordless knowing about what it took for us to be where we were in our lives.

When we have the courage to be vulnerable and share our stories, magic happens. Walls come down and people suddenly say, "oh my goodness that happened to me..." or "that happened to a dear friend of mine" or "what a brave soul you are". People have the opportunity to look beyond the horrific acts of violence to witness the incredible resilience of the human Spirit.

I was even quoted in the Cape Cod Times after completing my first half marathon:

Mary McManus, 55, of Brookline completed her first half-marathon after making a remarkable recovery from a life-long battle against post-polio syndrome.

She spent time at the Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital and began running just last February. She competed in her first race in June 2008, finishing a 5K.

"It's like having a new lease on life," said McManus, who ran yesterday's half-marathon with husband Tom. "I was limping my way through life, but then decided to do something about it."

As we countdown to Boston, we are all looking beyond the horrific acts of violence to see the resilience and strength and courage of the human Spirit. We are finding the courage to share our stories and be vulnerable as was Shane O'Hara as the banners were unveiled yesterday.



I am so glad that I found the courage to be vulnerable and share my story in Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility.



We all need to share our healing stories and share the message of healing, hope and possibility!

Three Years Later - A Time to Celebrate!

On 3/4/2011, which coincidentally is my wedding anniversary, my 26 year old nephew ended his life. I felt a part of me died with him. My father had committed suicide when I was 17 years old. I could not believe that grandfather and grandson would choose to end their lives.

For the past two years, I found myself struggling in my marriage and in my life around the anniversary time. Last year, Tom and I didn't celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary but I did get a new wedding band to symbolically release myself from the energetic connection to my family. My gold wedding band had been handed down to me from my great grandmother. While many experience a beautiful sentimental connection to jewelry handed down to them, mine was rife with conflict and unhappiness. So I tossed it into the ocean - yes an 18 karat gold wedding band - and I could feel my nephew's presence with me. He grabbed the anchor and jumped off of his fishing boat as it was pulling into Rhode Island and drowned.

This past year has been a year of phenomenal healing and transformation. You'll read about it (and my 7 year healing odyssey) in my soon to be released memoir, "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility".



Last weekend, Tom and I were finally able to celebrate both his birthday (which happens to be tomorrow 3/2 and marks 37 years since we met) and our anniversary in Hyannis as part of the Hyannis Marathon Weekend. We swam together, ate delicious meals together and I was able to wait for him to cross the finish line. He ran the Half Marathon. We went to the after party for Spaulding at 586 and celebrated runners' firsts, PR's and an unseasonably warm day in Hyannis.

Meeting Dick Beardsley who was able to overcome addiction, was incredibly healing for me. My nephew Charlie could have certainly benefited from the work he is doing through the Dick Beardsley Foundation. Knowing that Dick and his wife Jill are out working there tirelessly to raise money for education and to pay for treatment for those who are trapped in the cycle of chemical dependency brought me healing and comfort.


Last weekend I reconnected with the running community and celebrated my 2009 Boston Marathon run. I was reunited with alumni from Spaulding Rehab's Race for Rehab Team:



Tom and I regaled stories about our first half marathon - in Hyannis - in 2009 at the pre race pasta dinner.

I celebrated my Boston Marathon run with four time Marathon champion Bill Rodgers:



Time heals! The power of community heals! While my heart still aches for the tragedies of my father and nephew and how their suicides tore the fabric of our family apart, I can now celebrate what needs to be celebrated in my life and move forward.

We Run Together

The theme for this year's Boston Marathon is We Run Together.



Even before the Boston Marathon Bombings, I knew the powerful bonds and magic of the running community when I trained for Boston 2009. I remember how my husband Tom stayed with me stride by stride and wouldn't be concerned about anything other than getting me to the finish line of every race and every long run we did.

I remember when I bought my first pair of running shoes at Marathon Sports Brookline and news about my story spread throughout the Marathon Sports family. When I ran my first 5 mile race ever - the Marathon Sports 5 Miler, the Marathon Sports family was there to greet me as Tom and I finished dead last with an air horn blaring and the truck horn honking just as though we finished in first place.



I saw the we run together theme this past weekend in Hyannis. It's amazing to be a spectator at the finish line and experience the camaraderie of the running community. I watched the hugs and high fives; the tears of joy and the triumphs. I saw how, even if one person finished ahead of another person, they went back to hug the person who finished behind them. And I saw how people who had already finished (as evidenced by the medals around their neck) went back to run in another runner.

In 52 days, 11 hours and counting, Boston and the world will run together. Hearts and hands will be joined together as over 36,000 runners will make their journey from Hopkinton to Boston.

I will be back at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel this year ready to welcome the 100 members of Spaulding Rehab's Race for Rehab team to the Suite where I stood on 4/15/13 in a moment frozen in time. I will be tracking my friends who are running and will watch them triumphantly run down Boylston Street to the finish line.

On 5/30/2013, Amby Burfoot (who Bill Rodgers went to college with and played a pivotal role in Bill Rodgers development as a runner as featured in Bill's book Marathon Man) wrote this beautiful article for Runner's World: Just Imagine.

Ultramarathon great and biologist Bernd Heinrich, Ph.D., got it right in his book, Why We Run. Heinrich agrees we were born to run. But the secret, he argues, is not that we can trot along under a hot sun. No, the genius lies in our ability to visualize–to imagine–that such activity might lead to an important goal. We don't run primarily because we can, or because it feels good, though both might be true. Rather we were born to run with imagination and purpose.

Paleolithic runners pursued antelope with visions of a steak dinner. Today we run to score a soccer goal. To lose 10 pounds. To finish a 5-K and then maybe a half-marathon. To raise funds for good causes. We run long and persistent, hoping to one day complete 26.2 miles....

As John Hancock said in their promo for the video, whether you are running, volunteering or spectating, we all run together!

Find Your Distance

As I was reunited with my Spaulding Rehab Race for Rehab alumni



and talking with Boston Marathon legends, Billy Rodgers



and Dick Beardsley, everyone had the same message for me, "Find your distance!"

I toyed with the idea of becoming an endurance runner again.

About a week ago, the New England weather prevented me from going outside for a run so I went on my stationary bike on a Friday. I did 6.2 miles with intervals really kicking my bike workout up a notch. A storm with near blizzard conditions was predicted for Sunday so rather than take a rest day and run the risk of needing to do another bike workout, Tom and I headed out to Heartbreak Hill for 4.25 miles.

Last week, I co hosted Singing Boston Strong: Karis' Karaoke for a Kause and then we went into the Hyannis Marathon weekend.

As well as I feel and as well as I am doing, every once in awhile I am reminded and humbled that I do live with a spinal cord injury which is a result of contracting paralytic polio as a child. Five years ago I soldiered on through the brutal New England winter because I was a woman on a mission - to run the Boston Marathon.

In the wake of the Boston Marathon bombings, I realized that I could and I must run again but that I must respect where my body is at today. Everyone I met with whom I shared my journey celebrated my Boston Marathon run and where I am today. We all agreed that there is no such thing as "just" a 5K or a 10K.

Yesterday, although it was freezing - 29 degrees and not sure what the wind chill was, I went out for a 3 miler and did a sub 15 minute/mile pace. I felt wonderful and happy and so contented with the distance.

It's amazing - when champions Bill Rodgers and Dick Beardsley and the alumni from Spaulding Rehab's Race for Rehab team all say, "Find your distance," suddenly my distance becomes one to be celebrated.

And so does yours - whether it's a mile or 26.2 miles.

Find and celebrate your distance!

"It's a Fantastic Sport"

What a magical weekend in Hyannis. It will take me awhile to wrap my head and heart around all that happened this weekend in Hyannis. I hope I can convey some of the magic to you through my blog.

Tom and I left early Saturday morning for the Hyannis Resort and Convention Center. Our room was ready at 10:00am and we were able to get in a workout in the pool before lunch. We went to the Expo where I had the chance to talk with Boston's very own Bill Rodgers. I shared my story with him as he shared excerpts from his book, "Marathon Man" with me. He signed my book with, "We are lifetime runners. Let's run forever!" Bill Rodgers

As Tom took our photo, he gently placed his hand on my back and said to me, "Wow. Boston. You've got that mental toughness you know. You are one strong woman..."



After the Expo we drove the course for the half marathon and stopped at the JFK Memorial. Green grass, beautiful blue sky and ocean in mid-February:



At the pre race pasta dinner, we were treated to a feast of inspiration, laughter and tears by Bill Rodgers and Dick Beardsley.



Dick talked briefly about the day he had his duel in the sun with Alberto Salazar and his relationship with Bill Rodgers. He focused on the outpouring of emotional and financial support he received after a near fatal farm accident followed by his battle with addiction to prescription pain killers. Dick has a beautiful, raw heart and yes, real runners and men do cry! And laugh, and regale stories of races of days gone by.

Dick said that running is a fantastic sport and that many of the stories we runners tell have nothing to do with our races on the road but of the bonds that we as a running community share.

It is a fantastic sport and on Sunday, as I met up with my fellow alumni Race for Rehab teammates before their team photo:



Suzanne Showstack Adams, who I've known since 2007 and who I ran with in 2009 on the Race for Rehab team was also marveling at what a fantastic sport it is. She commented on where else can you be on the same course as elite runners? In what other sport do you get to stand side by side with the most celebrated men's distance runner in history.

And I would like to add, in what other sport could I, a polio survivor, cross the finish line of the Boston Marathon and be embraced and supported by a community of runners?



And in what other sport do you get to have breakfast with Dick Beardsley who, for a brief moment in the early 1980's became the most famous runner in the world - by losing a race. But more about that in tomorrow's blog!