The Art of the Present Moment-The Masterpiece of My Life

I meditated for an hour this morning reflecting on different feelings in my body and in my heart. The pelting rain and winds were the soundtrack for my meditation. Part of me wondered how we were ever going to get in our training run today. I couldn't believe that given the current weather conditions, the skies could clear. The forecast was for clearing by 10 am though. I imagined that the forecasters were going to say that Hurricane Arthur stalled over New England and we would not get the clearing as previously forecasted.

I planned out a route that would keep us close to home and then went back to listening to my body.

I attended to feelings and thoughts from the past as they arose and then receded much like the waves of the ocean.

I remembered when I was a sweet ballerina with long shiny hair. I could feel the one, two, three punch of contracting paralytic polio. I was paralyzed. My mother and grandmother's cruelty is best symbolized by them carting me off to the hairdresser to have my hair cut into a pixie hair cut once I was able to leave the house, Three years later, and for the next 9 years I became the target of family violence.

After being diagnosed with post polio syndrome, I have been on a 7 and a half year healing odyssey. Through writing poetry, I imagined feeling beautiful, free and whole in my body. I visualized running a race. I had dreams of coming out of my leg brace and dancing in the rain. I held onto hope and never gave up.

On March 20th, I was blessed to find my way to a massage therapist at Sollievo Massage and Bodywork. The rhythm of his hands create new muscle memory; the intention of his heart joins my intention to heal and Zero Balancing, a mind/body therapy has been helping me to transform the energy of violence and trauma that was in my bones.

But in my recent session, I realized that the energy of violence and trauma did not originate with me. I don't have a cruel bone in my body yet I lived under the weight of their projections onto me believing what they said.

And just as somewhere I held onto faith that the skies would in fact clear today (which they did and it turned into one of our most glorious New England Summer days), I have held onto hope that I would find peace and acceptance with all that is and all that happened to me.

After I finished my meditation, I wrote this poem:

The Art of Being Present
Each moment is a blank canvas
smudges and splotches only in mind's eye
raindrops from the heart
wash away the past.
Each moment is an opportunity
overflowing with possibility.

How shall I paint this moment?

My portrait once a still life
now
in stillness
life force leaps
dancer
lover of life
a geyser of joy
a river of happiness
gratitude flows
fragrant flowers sweetness
strong roots
lit with softness of sun's tender embrace
back from the edge
the ledge between life and death
creating the masterpiece of my life
one breath at a time.

Grandma Moses started painting at age 70. At 60, I am painting the masterpiece of my life.



My memoir, "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.

"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

Connecting the Dots Mission Possible: The Talking Information Center

...Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when it leads you off the well worn path; and that will make all the difference."-Steve Jobs

"As it turns out, the only job we have available right now is with VIST. The mental health walk in coordinator job just got filled," the assistant chief of social work Jim Blair told me after my interview at the VA Outpatient Clinic in November 1988.

"But I have no experience working with people who are visually impaired," I replied.

"We'll train you," Jim said.

My favorite job in my social worker career was as the Visual Impairment Services Team Coordinator at the VA. I could use my marketing/public relations background with my masters degree in social work. My veterans taught me and I supported them in their adjustment to vision loss. We took field trips together and they opened my eyes to what it means to live life with strength and courage coping with the loss of the gift of sight.

Part of my job in helping veterans cope with vision loss was to make referrals to community resources that would support them to feel as independent and empowered as they could.

The Talking Information Center's mission is to broadcast information to inspire, empower and motivate the print impaired community. It was a way for my veterans to have access to newspapers, periodicals, consumer information and a wide range of programming through a radio that only required an on/off and volume button.

Fast forward to May 5, 2014 when through a friend of a friend's Facebook feed I discover that a visually impaired runner qualifies for Boston!

Randy Pierce went on to be a guest on The Talking Information Center's Mission Possible Show. Randy's work supports the New Hampshire Association for the Blind and Guiding Eyes for the Blind. I tweeted about his interview.

TIC reached out to me and asked if I would like to be a guest on Mission Possible.

On Monday, I took a tour of the agency that had made a tremendous difference in the lives of so many of my veterans. Sarah and John shared with me that a listener survey indicated that one of their favorite programs was the reading of the supermarket circulars each week so they could express their preferences to their significant others of what they would like to buy on sale each week. It's the little things in life that can make such a difference between feeling victimized by life's circumstances and feeling empowered to manage whatever life may set before us.

Sarah had done her research and posed questions that would allow me to share my journey and my message of healing, hope and possibility with ease.

She had covered the 2014 Boston Marathon for TIC and met members of Team With a Vision of Massachusetts Association for the Blind and Visually Impaired. She mentioned on air and off how inspiring it is to watch runners cross the finish line of the Boston Marathon. I could see that a spark was lit within her. She knew that if I had the courage and fortitude to run the Boston Marathon, so could she.

Coincidentally, I worked closely with the Mass Association for the Blind when I worked at the VA only it was called Vision Foundation at the time. One of my dear sweet veterans was a volunteer there for many, many years.

I am now connected with visually impaired athletes on Facebook and in real life.

I am thrilled to be going to Randy's Peak Potential Gala on 11/22.

It's beautiful to watch the dots connect as the beautiful tapestry of our lives is revealed.

You can listen to the podcast of my interview on Sound Cloud Mission Possible - Mary McManus.

My memoir, "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.

"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

#ThankfulTuesday The Courage to Start

It took a lot of courage for me to choose to run the 5K rather than opt for the 2 mile walk at the Father Bullock Charity Run Walk Shuffle. It was an evening race. I was unfamiliar with the course and it was a relatively fast field although the last two runners to cross the finish line in 2013 and 2012 were at a pace well within my reach. They, however, were not part of the field on Sunday evening and Team McManus brought up the rear in style with a motorcycle police escort.

I wrote my race report in yesterday's blog #MondayMotivation.

I was reflecting on where my courage to start comes from. In reading Bill Rodgers, The Marathon Man and Dave McGillivray's The Last Pick, they talk about the people who lit that spark within them helping them to believe in themselves.

When I was 9 and 10 years old, I went to Badger Day Camp in Larchmont, New York.




My physiatrist who was helping me to recover from paralytic polio suggested the camp because of its emphasis on being an all inclusive camp with a low camper to counselor ratio and swimming. I learned how to swim at Badger. I always felt a part of the Camp community and counselors created an atmosphere of acceptance for all abilities. They encouraged me to do what I could do on the athletic field. They helped me to hone my archery and riflery skills where I could easily earn medals. My time at Badger was a healing balm for the violence my body endured every night. It was also a healing balm for the bullying and teasing I endured in school as a survivor of polio.

Joseph Stetz was on his way to becoming an Olympian. Instead, he gave up becoming an Olympian to pursue his career as a doctor. I can only imagine how many lives he blessed in his career as a cardiothoracic surgeon at St. Elizabeth's Hospital. He was my swimming counselor and in my 2nd and what would sadly be my last year at Badger due to health issues related to polio, he asked me to swim the butterfly in the Badger Olympics.

I thought he was crazy. He explained to me that there were only two other campers signed up to compete in the butterfly in my division. He said that it didn't matter what my time was. He wanted me to go out there and swim the best that I could possibly swim. He said that I was guaranteed my place on the medal stand and that I would earn my bronze medal (which as I recall was a plaque) for having the courage to swim in a race that no one would else would sign on for.

How could I refuse him? He was about 6'2" tall and in amazing physical shape. He told me that he would help me train for the event. He coached me on my form and breathing. He helped me with finding the courage to jump off the starting block into the pool and coached me on what form would give me the best start. He "got" me and what I needed in order to succeed mind, body and Spirit.

Badger Olympics Day arrived. He helped to calm my nerves. We both knew that one way or another I was going to finish the race. As I write this I can remember the tremendous effort it took for me to finish that race. But I did it! And I proudly took my place on the medal stand.

Joseph gave me his address on the last day of Camp and encouraged me to stay in touch with him. I wrote to him about the medical challenges I was facing and he wrote back beautiful letters of support. He was in medical school at the time.

We lost contact through the years until one day in December 2004, I was reading the Boston Globe and saw his obituary. I was stunned for so many reasons not the least of which was I worked as a psychiatric social worker at St. Elizabeth's Hospital and he was on staff as a cardiothoracic surgeon. He died at the age of 62 in a single car accident a few months after he retired.

There is a Joseph Stetz Memorial Scholarship which awards $1,000 to one male and one female graduating senior who will be attending college in the fall. Selection criteria include swimming accomplishments, academic achievement, community service, and an essay on how swimming has had a positive impact on your scholastic and personal growth, all as further outlined in the application.

His legacy lives on in so many ways!

I know on some level, I found the courage to start running because of the seeds he planted in my youth. I have been blessed to finish every training run and every race I ever started and I'm sure he's been watching over me.

Never underestimate the impact you have on another person. It's been 50 years since Joseph invited me to swim the butterfly in the Badger Olympics, yet to this day, because of him, I have the courage to start over and over and over again! And what sweet rewards we receive when we have the courage to start!

I saw this photo posted by Mike Robbins on Facebook that seemed a fitting way to end today's post:




My memoir, "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.

"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

Happy National Running Day!

Today I celebrate National Running Day! I woke up this morning to tweets and facebook posts feeling the joy and celebration that runs deep in the fiber of the running community.

Everyone runs for different reasons. Everyone has their own journey.

Mine began with the writing of a poem, "Running the Race." In December of 2006 I was diagnosed with post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. At that time, and in that poem, running became a metaphor for my life. Although I was in a leg brace and used a wheelchair at times for mobility facing a rather grim and uncertain future by all appearances, in my mind's eye I focused on winning a 10K race. I talked about being off of the sidelines and joining the human race having felt like an outcast because I was a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma. I imagined myself exceeding all expectations and that I now set the pace. Gratitude filled my heart even though I was told that I had to quit my job, adapt my home and prepare for a future in a wheelchair.

A shift happened within me from just thinking about and imagining myself running.

In February of 2008, my personal trainer asked me what my next goals were for my health and fitness journey. Oh I want to go outside and walk, I want to dance, I want to feel free in my body.

From my memoir, "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" (now available on Amazon with 50% of royalty payment proceeds being donated to The One Fund)

“Wait. I have one more goal.”

Janine stopped and turned around.

“I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital. I know they have a Race for Rehab team and I want to do it next year.”

Janine was non-plussed. I don’t know what kept her from turning tail and getting as far away from me as she could. She came back into my house and put down her things. She said that the first thing I would need is a pair of running shoes. She told me that Marathon Sports on Beacon Street would be able to help me. She laid out a cursory training plan and said that we would begin indoors to build up my cardio endurance. As soon as the weather got a little warmer, we’d go outdoors and I would learn how to run.

While training for the 2009 Boston Marathon, I watched the 2008 Summer Olympics with a keen eye on the marathon event.

I wrote poetry to harness the power of visualization and to affirm my commitment to crossing the finish line.

I had one image that is still with me today from "Running with God" an article I wrote for Cape Healing Arts after running the 2008 Tufts 10K:

I had an image of my polio self and who I am today side by side in a huge bubble. As I ran, the distance lengthened between my polio self and who I am today until the bubble finally burst and I was free.

And speaking of God ....

When I run, I am grounded, strong and connected to the energy of the Earth. I also feel a connection to something far greater than me. I feel an expansiveness in my heart and in my soul. The Divine Energy of light, of love, of creation is palpable when I run. I feel a sense of joy even in the most challenging of runs. I find myself. Every time I go out on a run, I feel I find my way home to the essence of who I am. In "Running the Race" I wrote, "for the first time in life, I could truly be me."

Perhaps Dr. George Sheehan said it best when he wrote:

"The true runner is a very fortunate person. He has found something in him that is just perfect."

Happy National Running Day everyone!

Resulted in joy to realize, I could live life anew....

Celebrated my body, creaks, groans and need for a brace
While in my mind I focused on winning a 10K race.

That's an excerpt from Running the Race, the first poem I wrote that opened the door to the possibility for healing my body, mind and Spirit after having been diagnosed with post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. I had felt joy just for a moment when I wrote those words but I imagined a time of being able to truly experience joy in my life.

I have been going for massage sessions at Sollievo Massage and Bodywork. My therapist incorporates Zero Balancing into the work we do. In one session, I experienced a sense of joy in all that I have lived through as the work helped me to tap into my beauty, my strength and my Spirit. It was the first time I felt a deep appreciation for the beautiful tapestry of my life. I felt an inner smile that manifested in a smile on my face.

In last Thursday's session, I experienced a powerful wave of terror in my body that I wrote about in "A Conversation With My 5 Year Old Self". Intense tremors followed. My therapist continued the work and even though I had experienced the flashback and my body was expressing the terror through my nervous system, I felt this sense of joy to realize that I can live life anew.

The moments of terror pass. My body becomes quiet again. There was one moment in the session when the baseline tremors that I experience completely stopped. I felt this sense of complete relaxation and peace. In a recent meditation I was able to discern how, on a subtle level, I was living my life still fighting for my life. It's safe to let go now. My body is healing; my heart is full of gratitude and joy.

I would often focus on my struggles as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma but now I see them as challenges; challenges that I have the opportunity to experience and move through.

I experience greater compassion and love for myself accepting all that is exactly as it is. I feel a wellspring of joy to realize that every day, every moment really I can live life anew. The fatigue, the waves of anxiety, the heartache and sorrow, the anger, the pain, the nightmares pass. It's not about changing them or stopping them but allowing everything to be as it is in any moment. I'm discovering that what remains is joy to realize that I am fully alive!

This morning in Aquatics Therapy at Spaulding Rehab, I decided to see if I was ready for 5 pound ankle weights. Last week, even though I was in the deeper water, I did not feel challenged with the 3.5 pound ankle weights. As soon as I walked into the deeper water, I realized I needed to work in the shallow water again. I could feel the challenge and the burn. I smiled and felt the joy to realize I can live life anew and see what my body is capable of achieving. Now.

I know probably more than most people, that life can change on a dime. All we have is now. And somehow, through it all there is a river that comes from the wellspring of my Spirit that allows gratitude and joy to flow and I blossom in its wake.

I saw this quote on Twitter this morning; a reminder from the Universe that I/we all have the power to heal. The challenges themselves remain but the healing comes in our ability to bring a healing attitude to those challenges and to be open to possibility - and joy to realize that we can live life anew!

True healers know that wellness is the order of the day, so they do not allow themselves, even for a moment, to see anything other than that. So, the power of the healer is in the power to influence the one who needs to be healed into a vibration that allows the healing that they are summoning. (that they could get, even without the healer, but they can get faster with a healer's influence) -~Abraham

Happy To Be Alive

Face to face with death at knife point
cold darkened eyes stare into mine
unflinching I stare back
afraid to move a muscle
already dead.
Life force safely tucked away
unknowing the outcome of this untimely encounter with death
at the hands of a madman
reasoning destroyed by gin and vermouth.
Angels intervene
he finds peace in death
I am left to put the pieces of my life back together again.
As numbness gives way to pain
pain gives way to gratitude
appreciation for this wondrous wonder filled life
where nothing makes sense and everything makes sense
purpose out of pain
grace in ungodly moments
surrounded by love
happy so happy to be alive
to tell the tale of one who almost died.

My memoir, "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.

"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

It's More Than a Book Release Party

On 5/23 from 7:00-9:00pm, Marathon Sports Brookline store closes the door to its customers for the evening and welcomes me and my guests for the official release of "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility."



I feel so blessed and grateful that Ellen Gabriel, manager of the Brookline store offered to host the release party. She said it seemed only fitting since my road to the Boston Marathon began at Marathon Sports where I was fitted for my first pair of running shoes - ever! Ellen was an important part of our Saturday training runs as the manager of the Wellesley store. We stopped there for a pit stop and refueling. She welcomed us, checked in with us and asked if there was anything we needed to ensure the safety and success of our long runs. The kindness and generosity she showed us lives on in my heart.

Marathon Sports has been and continues to be an important part of my healing odyssey. They have offered support and advice as there have been shifts and changes in what I need for footwear. They have supported me when I needed to take time off from running and embraced and celebrated with me when I returned to the roads most recently last May after a two year running hiatus.

When I first showed up at Marathon Sports Brookline wearing sweat pants, a t shirt and my daughter's old running shoes, I cannot imagine what they thought but they saw beyond the person standing before them. They saw a runner who had made the commitment to run the 2009 Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab.

When I look at the RSVP's for the Book Release Party, I realize that the event is more than a book release party. There are people coming together from different chapters of my life; from when I worked at the VA to people I have met in the past year during my return to the roads. There are those with whom I've been friends since I ran the Boston Marathon.

Domenick D'Amico, my beloved coach and trainer who I met at Spaulding Rehab in October of 2008, just happened to be planning a trip to Boston in May. We were able to coordinate the Book Release Party with his trip to Boston.

From my memoir:

We walked into the conference room at the old Spaulding Rehab Hospital on Nashua Street in Boston for our pre race team meeting. I was overcome with emotion to realize that just two years earlier, I was being seen in the outpatient clinic facing a grim and uncertain future. Here I was walking over the thresh hold and through the doors of the conference room with my husband and daughter by my side to join the 2009 Spaulding Hospital Race for Rehab team.

We introduced ourselves and then were introduced to our beloved coach, Domenick D’Amico who told us his job was to get us to the starting line healthy and to the finish line with a smile. I was terrified, excited, determined and feeling fierce and feisty that I, Mary McManus, a polio survivor was going to run the 2009 Boston Marathon.

I can imagine and feel the energy in the room with the people who have already RSVP'ed for the event. While we are celebrating the release of my memoir, we are also celebrating the message of healing, hope and possibility. Each person who has RSVP'ed so far has their own story. I envision a mingling of stories, the work that people do and running stories - lots of running stories for sure! There are people who have messaged and emailed me letting me know they sadly are unable to attend but will be there in Spirit!

There will be wine and soda, crackers, cheese and fruit all supplied by Marathon Sports. I will be donating $5 of every book sold that night to the One Fund to continue to support the healing of those injured at the Boston Marathon last year.

Domenick will speak first. I will be reading a few excerpts from my memoir followed by signing copies of my memoir.

It's going to be an evening I will remember and cherish in my heart and I know that it's going to be a lot more than just a book release party.

Five Years Ago: Ode to Marathon Training-Poetry in Motion

It's fun to take a look back to five years ago when we were training for the 2009 Boston Marathon. What a journey. From a wheelchair, leg brace, polio shoes to running shoes, to taking a total leap of faith saying that I, a survivor of paralytic polio and having been diagnosed with post polio syndrome would run the 2009 Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital.

When I contracted paralytic polio in 1959, I was blessed with a physical therapist, Miss Holly, who would read Dr. Seuss to me before every painful physical therapy session. She would have me recite my favorite Dr. Seuss books with her to ease the pain of the treatments. It's really remarkable how years later, after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome, a "progressive neuromuscular disease" that I would turn to the healing cadence of Dr. Seuss only now I was the one holding the pen.

Writing poetry released my unconscious desire to feel healthy and whole despite physical appearances to the contrary. And when it came time to train for the Boston Marathon, my trusty pen helped me to visualize and harness strength fueling me through those long runs and to also capture my journey.

Here is one of my favorites that I wrote 5 years ago today:

Ode to Marathon Training - March 22, 2009

Blisters, black toes, aches and pains
A change in my routine
Long training runs, the hills, the sprints
Keep running clothes fresh and clean.
Carbo load and plan each meal
Power gels and gatorade
No matter what the weather
No time to be afraid.
Humid – hot or freezing cold
Snow against the face
Wind or sun or raining
Those running shoes I must lace.
What mile is this how long we been out
Check heart rate drink H20
Meltdowns joys and triumphs
Only a few more weeks to go.
Heartbreak Hill won't break my heart
This year has been the best
Found myself and made new friends
I feel incredibly blessed.

One more long run and then taper time. My love and prayers are with all getting ready to run long and show the world what Boston Strong is all about.

"It's a Fantastic Sport"

What a magical weekend in Hyannis. It will take me awhile to wrap my head and heart around all that happened this weekend in Hyannis. I hope I can convey some of the magic to you through my blog.

Tom and I left early Saturday morning for the Hyannis Resort and Convention Center. Our room was ready at 10:00am and we were able to get in a workout in the pool before lunch. We went to the Expo where I had the chance to talk with Boston's very own Bill Rodgers. I shared my story with him as he shared excerpts from his book, "Marathon Man" with me. He signed my book with, "We are lifetime runners. Let's run forever!" Bill Rodgers

As Tom took our photo, he gently placed his hand on my back and said to me, "Wow. Boston. You've got that mental toughness you know. You are one strong woman..."



After the Expo we drove the course for the half marathon and stopped at the JFK Memorial. Green grass, beautiful blue sky and ocean in mid-February:



At the pre race pasta dinner, we were treated to a feast of inspiration, laughter and tears by Bill Rodgers and Dick Beardsley.



Dick talked briefly about the day he had his duel in the sun with Alberto Salazar and his relationship with Bill Rodgers. He focused on the outpouring of emotional and financial support he received after a near fatal farm accident followed by his battle with addiction to prescription pain killers. Dick has a beautiful, raw heart and yes, real runners and men do cry! And laugh, and regale stories of races of days gone by.

Dick said that running is a fantastic sport and that many of the stories we runners tell have nothing to do with our races on the road but of the bonds that we as a running community share.

It is a fantastic sport and on Sunday, as I met up with my fellow alumni Race for Rehab teammates before their team photo:



Suzanne Showstack Adams, who I've known since 2007 and who I ran with in 2009 on the Race for Rehab team was also marveling at what a fantastic sport it is. She commented on where else can you be on the same course as elite runners? In what other sport do you get to stand side by side with the most celebrated men's distance runner in history.

And I would like to add, in what other sport could I, a polio survivor, cross the finish line of the Boston Marathon and be embraced and supported by a community of runners?



And in what other sport do you get to have breakfast with Dick Beardsley who, for a brief moment in the early 1980's became the most famous runner in the world - by losing a race. But more about that in tomorrow's blog!

Healing in Community - Marathon Sports

"We don't heal in isolation, we heal in community," is a tag line of Michele Rosenthal founder of Heal My PTSD and author of "Before The World Intruded" a riveting trauma recovery memoir. That sense of healing in community was powerfully evident Wednesday evening as over 300 people came out for the Wednesday night run at Marathon Sports on Boylston Street.




In February of 2008, after declaring that I would run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab, I walked into Marathon Sports to be fitted with my first pair of running shoes - ever. As a polio survivor who lived literally in my head, I had never run and never owned a pair of running shoes.



I was greeted by Spencer Aston who asked me what I was in meaning what running shoes was I wearing. I told him that these running shoes belonged to my daughter and I put them on to come into the store. I had no idea that a friendship would blossom not only with Spencer but so many members of the Marathon Sports family.

Yes Marathon Sports is a family. It's a family woven together by running, a sense of giving back to the community and on the 3rd Monday of every April, the family comes together for Marathon Monday. From the store in Wellesley to the Beacon Street store and at the finish line on Boylston Street, members of the family gather with their families and friends to watch the Boston Marathon.

During our grueling training through one of the most brutal winters, Marathon Sports supported us in our runs. We would gather with Domenick D'Amico at the Brookline store and he would map out our route for the day. He would call the Wellesley store to let them know we were out on the course and that we would be stopping in to use the bathroom, fuel up with water and anything else that we needed to get through our long run. Domenick and the Marathon Sports family got us to the starting line healthy and to the finish line with a smile -- and a lot of tears --

We became very close with the then manager of the Brookline store, Alison who now manages the Melrose store. We were out on the course for a long time and she was so worried about us. She greeted us with hugs and helped us to stretch and warm up once we got back to the store.

My second race ever was the Marathon Sports 5 miler.



We finished dead last and the entire family was there honking and cheering as we crossed the finish line.

Two years ago, I asked the owner Colin if I could watch the marathon in the sweet sacred spot in front of the store. He said of course since I was part of the family. Tom was running for Childrens Hospital Boston and a group from Boston University College of Communication was doing a photojournalism piece on his run. They wanted a clear view of him when he crossed the finish line.

When we needed a donation of a gift certificate for a fund raiser for Tom's 2011 run, Colin gave without hesitation. The proceeds of the 5 miler go to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and they are always doing runs which donate to local charities.

Even though I traded in my running shoes for bare feet and a yoga mat, I am still a part of this community of runners. I feel the bond with the members of my Marathon Sports family. And even though a bomb may have torn into the fabric of the store on Boylston Street, it only served to strengthen the fiber of love and community of the Marathon Sports family as you can see from the story from CBS.

Focus on the Healing from Songs of Freedom:Poems From a Healing Odyssey Volume II:Seasons of the Soul available on Amazon

Focus on the healing not on the wound
at first blush imperceptible changes
like the first peak at the crocus breaking ground
we can only imagine
what flower will emerge after the darkness of winter…

I had a dream last night
terror filled my body in the darkness
my father the intruder
thunder and lightning filled the room
crashing around me
home made sticky buns on the stove
what a mess

“I never wanted to harm you”

Hyperventilation slows into steady breath
no longer raw and weary from the fight
wounds bound
roots grounded
peace descends
Spirit soars
only the trace of a scar remains
a reminder of the miracle of my life.


From my heart to yours
With total love and deepest gratitude,
Mary

MAY ALL BEINGS BE HAPPY AND FREE!

A Winter's Run-Reflections on Why I Still Run

The sun was out yesterday and despite the 30 degree temperatures, my daughter and I decided that it was time to get outside to do our cardio workout. I had been riding endless miles on the recumbent bike this winter and she would do cardio workouts via cable TV. We are so grateful to have these resources available to us but there is nothing like getting out and running in the fresh air and sunshine. As my daughter set a healthy tempo, I would alternate between running and walking. It was brisk with a headwind but knowing that we once ran a marathon - and not just any marathon - the Boston Marathon, twice around Jamaica Pond was nothing. I noticed the contrast between running in warmer weather in Florida and experiencing the cold of New England. Joints ached but my stubbornness prevailed and we ended up doing 3.2 miles in just a little bit over 45 minutes. My average heart rate was 141 with a peak of 157. My target heart rate is 115-140.

While I was running many thoughts went through my head. Why am I doing this? Why do we still care about our time? Damn it's cold out here - how did I train in temperatures even colder than this? Why should I run a half marathon again? And then the answers became clear. When I first spoke the words that I was going to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab hospital I had no idea that I would fall in love with running. I did not know my body was capable of running. During those very early training runs where it was such an incredible effort to run for a minute, I had one goal in mind - to cross the finish line of the Boston Marathon. So why keep running? Why remain in a training mode?

Yes, I would love to run the Disney Princess Half Marathon in 2011 (and I'm still praying about which charity to run for) but I want to maintain my health and fitness best. I want to inspire other middle aged women to get off the couch and join me in loving their bodies no matter what physical shape they may be in. Everyone has to start somewhere. It is so easy to look at women who are in 'perfect shape' or hear stories of women who are running 10 minute miles, lifting so many pounds and doing so many sit ups and push ups and then to use that as intimidation and self denigration. I know because I always looked at others and felt I could not measure up. I was intimidated, ashamed, embarrassed, and loathed my body for what it could not do.

But today I celebrate what my body can do! I am grateful for every step I take. I am grateful for pain free moments and trust that I have the strength to cope with whatever pain I may be experiencing. I know I can go within and visualize and bless each cell in my body. I watch the slow transformation as I go through the strength training exercises prescribed by my physical therapist to strengthen my core, cervical spine and upper body. I embrace the soreness and give thanks that I have the luxury of time to take exquisite care of my body. I give thanks that I do not have to find time to fit in workouts but can schedule them at my convenience. I give thanks that I can go outside and experience the beauty of a New England winter day - the silence on the icy pond, the barren trees, the muddied ground trusting that beyond the appearances nature is preparing to burst forth with renewal in just a few short months. So why do I still run? Because I am blessed to be able to run, because I love my body and want to give it the exercise it needs to stay healthy, because I want to inspire others and because I want to be a shining example of how, with God, all things are possible.

Reach in and reach out to someone you love this Valentines Day with an original poem from New World Greeting Cards.

While you're there be sure to order my book of inspirational poetry, "New World Greetings:Inspirational Poetry and Musings for a New World". Remember I donate 20% to Spaulding
Rehab's Polio Fund. It's a wonderful way to say "I love you" to that someone special.

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