Surfer Girl

"Do you want to finish with the cardio circuit or balance?" our therapist at Spaulding Aquatics Therapy class asked us.

We decided to finish with balance.

After an invigorating and challenging 35 minutes or so that included aqua jogging, strengthening hips with four way resistance exercises (so much more enjoyable than a theraband I am quick to add), pendulum swings for core strength with outstretched arms holding dumbbells, and contralateral quick step movements with laps, we took our kick boards to the deep end of the pool.

First up is finding our balance sitting on the kick boards then look ma no hands. To up level, we close our eyes and really harness the power of our core.



"Now see if you can stand on it. You can always use a noodle and come in the shallow end."

I'd seen a lot of beach blanket bingo movies in my day (said at the risk of dating myself) and channeled my inner Frankie Avalon:



I confidently stepped on to the kick board with one leg and then the other -- whoa whoa whoa -- this is harder than it looks.

Wipe out.

Lots of laughter.

Okay I've done this before but it's been awhile. I've got this.

After a few times, I was able to stand and did a few leg push ups for good measure.

Our therapist told us that she'd give us a few more minutes and then we'd need to come in and stretch. I simulated surfing by using my arms to surf swim to shore and staying upright on the kick board.

There were so many activities that I couldn't try in my youth or so I thought as a result of having contracted paralytic polio. But it's never too late to become surfer girl.



"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

Happy Swimiversary

August 30, 2013 I experienced my first Aquatics Therapy class at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital. As I reread my blog post from a year ago, I realize it is now 8 years since I became sick and tired of feeling sick and tired and took the first steps on my healing journey at Spaulding Rehab's Internaitonal Rehab Center for Polio at their outpatient clinic in Framingham in October of that year.

I knew there were benefits of Aquatics Therapy but am amazed to experience the transformation and healing that is happening in large part thanks to the twice weekly therapy classes at Spaulding.

I am up to 5 pound ankle weights and last Saturday I ran for seven sweet miles.

I can do squats with dumbbells. New neuromuscular connections fire up as we are challenged with balance exercises and contralateral movements. I remember how disorganized I felt with movements in the pool. I feel a sense of grace and ease in my body as I move and laugh as I try new exercises.

I love being in the pool. The warm waters heal. I feel more confidence and strength in my body than I did this time last year; than I have ever felt in my life. There is a collective intention for healing and finding strength in the community classes.

I often joke with my therapist saying that I think I am addicted to Aquatics Therapy classes. She responded with there are worse things you can be addicted to.

There is freedom as I move through water with mindful movements.

It's hard for me to believe it's been a year since I first experienced Aquatics Therapy. I had no expectations when I began the program. I didn't even know that I would become a fixture of the Tuesday and Wednesday classes. I'm glad that I stayed with the program even when it meant getting up in the dark at 6:15 am in the middle of the Polar Vortex or walking out into the darkness of evening being greeted by a blast of frigid air.

It's been a joy filled, challenging and fulfilling journey with wonderful results. I continue to build strength and experience healing and transformation, grace and ease in my physicality. Happy Swimiversary to me with deepest gratitude to my therapists and to Spaulding Rehab for the gift of this program in my life.




"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

Find Your Aquatics Strength - Don't Mind If I Do - Jumping for Joy

It's been almost a year since I began Aquatics Therapy community classes at Spaulding Rehab Hospital. It has been a game changer in my healing journey with the late effects of paralytic polio and being a survivor of 9 years of violence as a child.



Last night, our therapist kicked it up a notch for those of us who were ready. We started with a few laps of running to warm up but not just any kind of running. High knees, bum kicks and side shuffle. Those contralateral moves are still a challenge for me but I focus on the strength I AM building rather than the weakness I have yet to overcome. It's all about perspective and mindset.

Lower body strength training was up next. I remember when I'd use therabands and thought to myself how grateful I am for the pool at Spaulding and really tightening and using those muscles per my therapist's cues.



Next up, our therapist having us do a new core strengthening exercise in the deep end. It was a very humbling experience yet a challenge that I thoroughly embraced. After we finished the exercises, I noticed that my running in the pool was so much easier. My therapist smiled when I shared this observation with her.

Did you know you can sweat in a pool? You can when you are doing aqua jogging for 5 minutes non stop while holding down two dumb bells by your side. I asked our therapist how long we were jogging for and she said 5 minutes; I usually have you do 3 1/2. We smiled again.

Time for the circuit where we go from doing 40 to 30 to 20 to 15 to 10 to 5 of a circuit of cardio exercises. Tonight's menu consisted of jumping jacks, jump tucks, scissor switch of legs and arms and side to side jumps. Jump tucks have always been a challenge for me. Last night something clicked and I could feel the spring in my jump and a new neuromuscular connection. I found myself jumping for joy.

Knowing today and tomorrow are rest days, I gave it my all feeling a new fierceness and determination deep within.

Finding my aquatics strength yes please and thank you. Don't mind if I do.




"Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.



"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

Spaulding Rehab Aquatics: A Magical Meeting and Using Your Noodle

Tom and I sat outside on the beautiful patio overlooking Boston Harbor before Spaulding Rehab Aquatics Therapy class. A woman wearing a Falmouth Road Race volunteer t shirt comes wheeling by us announcing, "This is the first day I've been able to do this by myself. God is so good." She opened her arms to the sunlit sky. She shared with us her story of two knee replacements that resulted in severe infections that led to an above the knee amputation. She has been in and out of the hospital and rehab for the past year. She told us she has her pity party time but that she knows how lucky she is. I gave her my business card and hope she gets in touch with me. She is a warrior in every sense of the word. What a magical moment to meet her after writing my blog yesterday about being thankful and taking nothing for granted. We exchanged hugs as she went on her way, the embodiment of faith, gratitude and spreading a message of healing, hope and possibility despite all appearances. She sees a world filled with possibility for competing in hand cycling events and adaptive sports through Spaulding. She is even considering running once she is able to wear a high tech prosthetic leg which is the goal for her. I told her how I lost use of my right arm for 6 months after a staph infection. I told her it's a lot of hard work as she knows but you can regain muscle strength. I told her about my 2009 Boston Marathon run.

What a blessing that Tom and I could share the class together. He was able to get in a good cross training workout in preparation for tomorrow's Marathon Sports 5 Miler. I continued to work to build strength and I dedicated my workout to the woman we met who was wheeling her way around the Spaulding campus celebrating her life and her freedom.

It was a small class. Our therapist led us through an intense cardio workoout. I could feel her energy and intention for each of us to find our strength. I challenged myself by going into the deeper water. Tom told me after class he was amazed at my focus and dedication to building strength.

It's not all work and no play though. Our therapist suggested that, after we balanced and walked on the noodle in the shallow end of the pool



that we attempt standing on the noodle and then, with legs together, pump the noodle up and down.

It was a delightful challenge that resulted in experiencing a sense of play as I'd lose my balance, have my noodle pop up to the surface and I'd go under water.

It's so wonderful to be able to challenge myself in a safe, aquatic environment and to unleash a sense of play and freedom. I was able to find my balance and do 5 leg push ups. Now that's what I call using your noodle! I wanted to keep trying it over and over again but it was time to cool down and stretch.

As I mentioned in yesterday's blog post, there are times that I have a pity party. Sometimes it is so difficult to live with the late effects of paralytic polio and yet it is my path and one I wouldn't (or couldn't) trade for the world. I wouldn't have the opportunity to meet the most amazing, magical, inspiring people that I get to meet on this journey.

Everyday I give thanks that Spaulding Rehab is a part of my journey that takes me to higher and higher ground in my healing.

To read more about my journey after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome in December of 2006 at Spaulding Rehab's International Rehab Center for Polio ----





"Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.

"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

Be Thankful - Take Nothing for Granted

Shortly after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome, I realized that I was at a crossroads in my life. Would I continue to live my life as a hamster in a wheel, trying to get through each day, feeling betrayed by my body and just waiting for it all to end OR would I begin to see my life, my challenges as gifts and be grateful.

It wasn't easy to make the shift and I still have my days where sadness flows as I realize what happened to me.

Once I shifted to feeling gratitude in my heart and seeing the challenges as blessings, my life began to change; my heart and body began to heal.

Gratitude is a part of my daily meditation. Sometimes I allow myself to have a good old fashioned pity party and then my heart, soul and mind shift to focusing on ALL I have to be grateful for. I am grateful for meditation that keeps bringing me back to the moment, to understand what keeps me from choosing love and move on to practice loving kindness and compassion for myself and sending it out into the world so desperately in need of healing.

One of the things I am especially grateful for is that I take nothing for granted. Something as simple as putting on my shorts or a pair of pants takes mindfulness as I challenge myself to move out of the habitual ways of doing things that result in overuse, injury and imbalance. I feel a sense of joy and gratitude when I am able to accomplish this seemingly simple feat.

This staycation time with my husband has been precious. I enjoy and savor each moment we have together. Sometimes it's time spent in meditation or reading; cleaning up the yard together or even being together as we put out the trash and recycling which is usually a hurried activity the night before trash day. While we are in our early 60's and despite living with PPS, we are in excellent health, I know that life can change on a dime.

I know how lucky I am to be able to run! Every time I get out there I feel gratitude rush through me. Whether the run is a PR kind of run or one that I slog through to get in the miles, I appreciate the freedom, the health and well being that enables me to continue to run. I am blessed by the running community that embraces me and that I have a partner who goes out with me to train for the Tufts 10K.

I am blessed with healing resources. The Aquatics Therapy classes at Spaulding Rehab has been a game changer in my healing journey. It's been almost a year now since I started the program. I am building strength, balance, coordination and confidence. Part of my confidence is that no matter what may happen, I will always be led to exactly what I need when I need it.

On March 20, I walked through the doors of Sollievo Massage and Bodywork. The 90 minutes of weekly massage therapy that incorporates Zero Balancing into the work is supporting my intention to heal and recover from paralytic polio and violence; intentions I first set forth in my poetry.

How amazing that as I sat in a leg brace, using a wheelchair at times for mobility and feeling the worst I have ever felt in my life that the gift of poetry blossomed in my soul. My pen continues to become my divining rod for healing, joy and allowing gratitude to flow.

I have a beautiful, loving, supportive group of friends on Facebook and IRL or in real life as the kids like to say. I scroll through my Facebook feed and see posts about gratitude, the joy of children; inspirational quotes and inspirational stories abound.

I am blessed that I have survived - and now thrive living as full and vibrant a life as I possibly can. I am thankful and I take nothing for granted.

To read more about my journey after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome in December of 2006 ----






"Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.

"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

The Joy of a Staycation: Simple Pleasures

There's something wonderful about feeling the anticipation of a vacation. Packing the bags and heading off for a change of scenery. But for me, there is also something wonderful about creating a vacation from our very own home.

Yesterday, Tom and I spent the day working in the yard. I do have to be mindful about how much and what I do. With him to do the heavy lifting so to speak, I could thoroughly enjoy dirt therapy with him. We worked together as a wonderful team finally having the expanse of time to work in our yard without the pressure of him returning to work today and needing to get other chores done.

This morning we slept in until about 7:30. We enjoyed a leisurely breakfast together in our beautiful clean yard and then headed out together for a 3.1 mile run. Tom is going to do more yard work this afternoon. It's so wonderful to feel his energy at home taking care of our home.

We've lived here for 18 years. There was so much work each of us was doing first in raising our children, then in careers, and then in my healing journey that it seems as though this is the first time we can settle into our homestead and thoroughly enjoy a staycation.

It's the simple pleasures of sharing meals together, taking care of the yard and our beautiful greenery, sitting and reading together, relaxing after runs and having time to be.

Tomorrow and Wednesday, Tom is going to join me for Aquatics Therapy classes at Spaulding. It will be great cross training for him and it will be a joy to share in the classes with him as we did before his work schedule changed. We'll pack up the car complete with a good old fashioned picnic lunch and after Aquatics tomorrow we are going to head straight to Nantasket Beach for the day. I cannot remember the last time we went to Nantasket. Bea D'Angelo, a member of L Street Running Club is the owner of The Red Parrot where we will dine at the end of our day long getaway.

On Thursday, Tom runs the Marathon Sports 5 Miler. Even though the forecast isn't looking good, nothing can dampen our spirits when we get together with our Marathon Sports family.

As of now, we have no plans for Friday.

And that's the joy of a staycation. The simple pleasures of being together, feeling contented and celebrating the warmth and love of our home and a time to Be.

Be

Be optimistic
believe
and leave behind the lies of anything that is not love.
Tune out voices of hate
darkness
tune into light
feel light
be light hearted
though at times
sorrow in the world
weighs heavy on the heart.

Choose perspective
undeterred
hold onto hope
believe in miracles

Be fearless in
Being
You



"Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.

"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

Purpose - On Poetry, Passion and Hope

From my memoir, "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility":
I had never felt a connection to my body before. It was a strange experience yet one that I hungered for. I wanted to find my way home and Allison was my first tour guide providing the map I needed to reconnect with myself.

The first day I walked into the outpatient gym and saw all of the equipment and machines I thought to myself, I’m going to be able to do this. I can get stronger. I can reconnect with my body. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. I knew it was going to take time and I had to be extremely patient with myself. Allison’s passion for the work and belief in the process was infectious. I wanted to feel better. I wanted to live in my body. I wanted to feel whole. Three times a week we worked together using what I now know was Pilates, isometrics, weight training and cardiovascular exercise to begin to bring my body out of its withered state.

I sat at my dining room table on a freezing cold dark February evening. No one else was at home. I had printouts from ‘new age’ teachers spread out all over the table. Dr. Bernie Siegel, Wayne Dyer, Tony Robbins, teachers from “The Secret” which was very popular back in the day were beckoning me. The theme was gratitude and a call to create.

“I am so happy and grateful that I can create,” was an affirmation from a Lisa Nichols newsletter.

Create? Create? I asked myself over and over again. What am I going to create? I had twins and my childbearing years were over. My career was quickly coming to an end.

And then I felt a stirring in my second chakra (only then I didn’t know it was my second chakra – I thought it might have been something I ate). I went over to my laptop in the corner of the living room and I wrote the poem, "Running the Race."

Poems about wholeness, gratitude, feeling free in my body and healing began flowing out of me. My pen became my diving rod for healing. I continue to write poetry and as Spirit moves me will post them on Facebook. My most recent poems will be incorporated into my next book, "Journey Well." It seems that there is at least one person who thanks me for my poem saying it was exactly what they needed to hear. Purpose ....

I used to try to find my purpose after leaving my award winning career at the VA with a very heavy heart. I realized that I can't find my purpose. The Universe presents me with wonderful opportunities to use my passion and talents for the higher good. I am better able to discern these opportunities and to seize the ones that bring me joy and make my heart sing. Purpose....

Last night after Aquatics Therapy at Spaulding Rehab, one of the women mentioned in the locker room that she felt very frustrated in the class. "You seemed to know what you are doing and you do it with such ease," she said to me. I smiled. I told her that appearances are very deceiving and while some of the exercises are easier for me than others, I have to work hard in the water to create new neuromuscular conditions and build strength. I shared my journey with her. Her eyes welled with tears. "Well ... you gave me hope. You have no idea how much I needed to hear your story today. I'll be back next week." Purpose....

When I was about 11 or 12 years old, I asked my father why we are here. It was a rare moment with him when he was sober. He said that he didn't have an answer but he liked to believe that if we touch the life of at least one other person while we are here, then we can say our life is a success. Purpose ....





"Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.

"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

"One cannot fly into flying...."

Sometimes I get really impatient with myself. Just like I wanted to take off after the runner who said on your left during our training run on Saturday, a part of me wants to be able to run faster, longer, be stronger than where I am now.

And then I pause. I take a deep breath. I realize that there is SO much to be grateful for right here now.

I have four limbs that all work. I have my sight, my vision, my hearing. I am blessed to live in a beautiful neighborhood and have the time, the money and the resources to heal the effects of paralytic polio and violence. I am surrounded by people who love and respect me as I am. I am able to enjoy and appreciate my life.

I realize when I feel impatient about where I am, a part of me wants to deny what happened to me. I become like a dog with a bone growling and wrestling with this imaginary foe.

I'm exactly where I need to be. Otherwise - I wouldn't be here.

And how amazing to be here. I use 5 pound ankle weights during my Aquatics Therapy class on Tuesday morning. This morning I challenged myself with squats by going into deeper water. I had to move back into the more shallow water for upper body strength training. I remember when I couldn't even do a squat without having my back to the wall. I have come so far with balance, strength and endurance since last August when I first started Aquatics Therapy at Spaulding.

And there is no evidence of progression of the late effects of having contracted paralytic polio.

Quite the contrary. I run a 5K distance on Mondays and a 10K distance on Saturdays. I've run in a few races and have the Bill Rodgers 5K in August, the Spectacle Island Run in September and the Tufts 10K in October. What joy I experience when I volunteer or spectate at a race or get to hang out with my runner friends.

I'm finding my way back to myself feeling a sense of peace and acceptance with exactly where I am.

And there are moments when I'm out there running, playing with the waves and swimming in the ocean or taking a few laps in the Spaulding Pool that I'm flying and free.




My memoir, "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.

"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

"Were you a dancer?"

"What? Who me? Um no - well yes I was when I was 3 years old until I contracted paralytic polio at age 5," I replied. "Oh my", she replied. "Well you certainly move with grace," my fellow aquatics therapy class member said to me as we were moving through our paces yesterday at Spaulding Rehab. This is the second time someone has asked me if I was a dancer telling me how graceful I looked moving through the water.

We tend to focus on how our bodies hold onto memories from traumatic experiences. We forget that our bodies can have muscle memory from joyful experiences that we can call upon and resurrect in our mind's eye. In the water, I become that graceful ballerina even though I am now 60 years old. To experience feeling graceful after all that my physical form has endured is well simply put - the grace!

I wrote this poem shortly after I began working with my personal trainer in October of 2007. I was imagining how I would feel some day in my body and declaring that despite appearances to the contrary, I am a prima ballerina filled with confidence and grace.

Follow the Star March 2008

Stairs looming – my Mt. Everest I faced them with such dread
“Would my muscles make the climb?” - the thought inside my head.
Hug banister so tightly – my lifeline – climber's rope
Lead-like legs – they'd find their way – up the staircase slope.

Grateful I can do it and for all things great and small
But tired of the struggle not to mention fear of fall.
“I sent a training angel – you know her, she's your friend
To help your muscles strengthen – on her you can depend.”

Unsure of what was possible – unsteady on my feet
But pictures dancing in my head of graceful times so sweet.
A ballet star at 4 years old, but virus snuffed its light
So God sent me an angel – for healing now in sight.
The gift of caring for myself – unleash the fear and doubt
Allow this loving angel to help turn tide about.
My mind transforms the body while love transforms my soul
I feel Your strength within me – broken places now made whole.

I'm a prima ballerina filled with confidence and Grace
Muscles work in tandem – center stage is now my space!
This joyous journey of my life-Your guiding star takes lead
The soul now healed, the heart renewed my body now be freed.

Yes I was a dancer and I am a dancer. I love to dance in the healing waters of Aquatics Therapy classes at Spaulding Rehab.

And remember - it's never too late and you're never too old --

Learning to Dance 2013

It’s never too late
you’re never too old
to learn to dance
paralyzed from polio
paralyzed with fear
frozen in time

awkward and unsure
shame and confusion
embarrassment
I fell into the trap of ego
my leg snared in the jaws of agony and defeat

tentative steps
stiff and clumsy
painstaking movement
fueled by thoughts of days gone by
the match is lit
no match for darkness
the music of my heart’s desire
moved me to try once again
step by step
the dance of my life
the way I was always meant to dance

yes wrinkles mark the passage of time
yet
I burn brightly

until my dance is done.



My memoir, "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.

"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

#transformationtuesday Building Strength - I am a Champion!

From my memoir, Coming Home:A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility:

The buzzing hum from the fluorescent lights echoed the buzzing in my nervous system. I sat waiting for my first appointment at the post polio clinic at the IRCP. My complexion was as white as the paper that covered the exam table. I felt as fragile and vulnerable as that piece of paper that gets ripped off and tossed away after the exam. Every inch of my body hurt. I was exhausted. I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I hadn’t really cared whether or not I woke up in the morning but I had a husband and twins that needed me. Ironically enough I was at the peak of my career as a VA social worker. I couldn’t sleep. I felt depressed. My award-winning career as a social worker at the Department of Veterans Affairs no longer fueled my soul. Somewhere deep inside of me there was a feeling that there had to be a way out of the hell I was living in.

The symptoms began in 1996. I had episodes of feeling fatigue and muscle burning. I was anxious. At times, I noticed that the limp from paralytic polio returned. In 1992, I had reconstructive leg surgery to correct the deformity of my left leg and to avoid a total knee replacement at the young age of 39 years old. Here I was 7 years later feeling as though my body was beginning to deteriorate and my life falling apart.

How many miles I've traveled on the roads and in my life since my first visit to Spaulding in October of 2006.

For the first time in my healing odyssey I feel that I am in control of my journey. I can choose to be aware and mindful rather than reactive and fearful. I am learning to not attach to any particular outcome or what is happening in my body on any particular day. I abide with the uncertainty and impermanence of it all. For me, that is the meaning of feeling empowered; I have the strength and courage to manage whatever is while doing everything within my power to be as healthy and fit as I possibly can.

Do I experience fear? You bet I do but I am learning how to manage feeling fear rather than being fearful. I no longer fight against or try to overcome or feel a need to fight back against the ghosts of my past. I am learning how to be present and how to enjoy the present.

This morning during Aquatics Therapy at Spaulding Rehab Hospital, I focused on building strength. I thought about how far I'd come since I first walked into Spaulding over 7 years ago. I allowed the magic of the healing therapeutic water combined with the exercises to fuel my belief that I can continue to build strength. The Aquatics Therapy is a perfect complement to my running twice/week. We work to build upper and lower body strength while improving flexibility.

I learned throughout my journey that nothing can be forced. Everything must flow from the inside out. When I tried to strength train on land using traditional methods of strength training without the guidance of a trained therapist, I ended up either injured or more deconditioned than when I began. I know how fortunate I am to have access to Spaulding's Aquatics Therapy program which has made a huge difference in how I feel in my body, mind and Spirit. It's uplifting to be able to do squats and build strength in the warm water. When working on balance, if I fall, I tumble into the pool. It's a judgment free zone where all who attend the classes are there to heal and build strength. We laugh together and honor our challenges.

While there are medals and photos that mark my physical transformation, there is no way to physically capture the essence of my spiritual transformation. I have gone from someone whose life spiraled out of control and not having a clue about what was happening in my body to someone who can now connect the dots and understand, with at times painstaking clarity, what has happened to me. With that awareness comes a sense of strength. I can feel at home in Aquatics Therapy classes and among runners - elite runners and champions. Because I know I am one of them. The result of the one two punch of paralytic polio and violence may have knocked me down for awhile. I was pretty close to a knock out after my nephew's suicide but I never quit. I got back up, took off the gloves and continued on my journey. I am building strength on the roads, in the pool and in my life and I raise my arms in celebration of being the champion of my life.

Foot Strike
Each strike struck a chord of fear
helplessness
terror.

How would I ever reclaim my life?

Holding onto hope
waiting for the day
when memories would no longer weigh heavy
free to run my own race.

Stomping in anger
striking back
shadow boxing with the thief
who stole away childhood innocence
a no win.

Each foot strike ignites my soul
fired up to run my best race
taking the lead
breaking finisher’s tape

today I won my race.


My memoir, "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.

"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

Called one of the lucky ones...Feeling Fortunate

In, 'Running the Race,' the first poem I wrote back in February 2007 after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease, I wrote:

Called one of the 'lucky ones' I had a 'mild case'
but with the other athletes I could never keep their pace.


I was unable to leave the house for a few months, but when the physical therapist from the March of Dimes came to my house to do an assessment, she told my mother, "She's one of the lucky ones." There were children and adults in iron lungs unable to move or breathe. There were many who died. While initially I experienced paralysis from the neck down, movement on my right side returned within a week or two.

And despite the abandonment, neglect and violence that ensued, in my heart I feel blessed and fortunate.

I know that I continue to heal and build strength. I know that I have the strength to work with whatever challenges may present themselves in my life. I am incredibly fortunate to have Aquatics Therapy at Spaulding Rehab Hospital and go for weekly treatments at Sollievo Massage and Bodywork. When I told my husband and daughter that I needed them to do chores in order for me to continue to heal, have the energy to run and enjoy my life, and stem the tide of the progression of the late effects of paralytic polio, they stepped up to the plate.

I'm taking a moment to pause today to realize how fortunate I am to feel as well as I do and to live the life I am living. I AM one of the lucky ones and so blessed to have experienced what it's like to run free in yesterday's training run. Blessed with abundance which for me means having enough right now in this moment. Blessed with a 37 year relationship with my husband and surrounded by my running family. Blessed to have all my limbs, my sight, my hearing and blessed because I feel fortunate and take nothing for granted knowing how life can change on a dime.

All we have is right now - this moment and I am embracing my good fortune to be here now.

Be Here Now April 2014

Be here now and celebrate
no longer the victim
a survivor and thriver
filled with beauty
a life once torn and shattered
now a beautiful tapestry
woven together
no more rough edges
open heart
a voice that sings with strains of poetry
life no longer a strain or struggle
a new refrain
as energy flows
the river of life marks a new path
yet all is fleeting
not meant to be captured
but experienced
moments
shared in awe
wonder and mystery
comfort in this gift of presence
trusting all is well.



My memoir, "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" is now available on Amazon.

"Wait, I have one more goal," Mary McManus told her personal trainer in February of 2008 shortly after coming out of her toe up leg brace. "I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital." Mary traded in her polio shoes for running shoes and embarked on the journey of a lifetime. Mary McManus was at the height of her career as a VA social worker when she was told by her team at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s International Rehab Center for Polio in December of 2006 that she needed to quit her job if she had any hope of preventing the progression of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. In “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility” Mary takes you on her seven year healing odyssey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma from her diagnosis, to taking a leap of faith to leave her award winning career at the VA to heal her life and follow her passion as a poet and writer. You’ll experience her trials, tribulations and triumphs as she trains for and crosses the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and discovers the opportunity for healing in the wake of new trauma: the suicide of her nephew in 2011, and the aftermath of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. This is Mary's journey of coming home to her human form free from the influences of the ghastly ghostly invaders who had invaded her sacred earthly home. Her memoir includes journals and blog posts from her seven year healing odyssey. This is her journey of transformation and her message of healing, hope and possibility.

I donate 50% of royalty payments through on line sales to The One Fund to help Boston Marathon survivors and their families. Copies are also available at Brookline Marathon Sports. $5 of each book sold at Marathon Sports is donated to The One Fund.

Finding Strength

"We can either watch life from the sidelines, or actively participate. Either we let self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy prevent us from realizing our potential, or embrace the fact that when we turn our attention away from ourselves, our potential is limitless." - Christopher Reeve

The motto of Spaulding Rehab Hospital where I go for twice weekly Aquatics Therapy classes is Find Your Strength.



When I first walked through the doors of the Spaulding Rehab Framingham Outpatient Clinic, I was terrified, overwhelmed and had no idea what was wrong with me or how I was ever going to find my strength.

It's been over 7 years now since I was diagnosed with post polio syndrome. During these past 7 years I discovered that the years of dissociating from my body as a result of contracting paralytic polio at the age of 5 followed by 9 years of unrelenting trauma, took a toll on me mind, body and Spirit.

The first step I took in finding my strength was surrender. I had to surrender to my body as it was and then slowly work to find my strength. The first return of strength did not come with strength of body; it came through strength of Spirit as I started writing poetry. I felt a spark of life begin to flicker. I fanned its flames by having pen and paper with me at all times to allow Spirit to speak even though my body was weak and deconditioned from years of abuse and neglect.

Slowly, with the help of Allison Lamarre-Poole, a phenomenal physical therapist at Spaulding Outpatient Clinic in Downtown Boston, I began to build my physical strength.

I found the strength to walk away from my award winning VA social work career just three years shy of retirement age.

After being discharged from outpatient rehab, I hired a personal trainer. That's when building physical strength took on a whole new meaning for me. From my memoir, Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility:

"After our session, I felt muscles I had no idea existed in my body. I remember barely being able to get up after our plane landed. Despite the pain, I knew that I was on the right path. I decided that if I were going to hurt, I may as well hurt on the side of getting healthy. I couldn’t listen to the admonishment of if you use it you will lose it. I had to believe in my body’s capacity for healing. I had to have faith. As I went through the rigors of personal training, there were moments of incredible doubt. During those times, Janine held enough faith for the two of us."

While the initial spark to set foot on a healing path and find my strength had to come from within me, without the support of my family, my therapists, my trainer and then the running community, I would never have come off the sidelines to train for and cross the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon. My beloved coach and trainer Domenick D'Amico promised to get me to the starting line healthy and to the finish line with a smile. He told me he never doubted that I would be able to accomplish the goal I declared in February 2008 although I had never run a day in my life.

Every day, I find my strength mind, body and Spirit to live and thrive with the late effects of paralytic polio and a history of trauma. I challenge myself to dig deep and build strength in aquatics classes and in my runs. I experiment and I play around with finding my edge. The physical is the outward manifestation of the spiritual strength it takes for me to experience a sense of beauty and strength in spite of or maybe because of all that I have experienced.

My journey is not just about me though. I love supporting and being a cheerleader for others as they find their strength and dare to not allow anything that life has thrown their way to sideline them. Just as others held faith, support and encouragement for me when I wasn't sure what was possible, I now let others know my powerful message of healing, hope and possibility so they can find their strength.

No Mud - No Lotus

The lotus flower goes through much in its growth before emerging from dirty water to become a beautiful flower. What a wonderful metaphor for our journeys through adversity.

This morning as I drove home from Spaulding Aquatics Therapy class, I passed by Charles River Plaza where, seven and a half years ago, I had an EMG. It was a test that would help to determine the extent of the damage to the nerves in my upper body as a result of contracting paralytic polio when I was 5 years old. It seems like a lifetime ago and in some ways it was!

I am so happy to be here now and grateful for every step of this healing odyssey.

It's almost 7 years since I left the VA with a heavy heart to heal my own life and follow my passion as a poet and a writer. I had no idea what the future held for me; if in fact I would still be alive today at 60 years old because of the diagnosis of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscualr disease. I just knew that I was at a crossroads in my life. Would I find my way to the light even though it meant traveling through a lot of murky water and would I blossom and grow as a result of the challenge of not only the diagnosis of post polio syndrome but the effects of 9 years of unrelenting trauma that I experienced as a child?

We don't know how strong we are until strong is the only choice we have.

This past weekend, through Facebook, I met Randy Pierce and Thor Kirleis. It is astonishing what comes out of adversity. The beautiful flower of all that is the best of being human blossoms. Friendship. Community. Trust. Inspiration. Motivation. Hearts and souls singing songs of compassion, kindness, discovering the power of intention. Strength. Courage. Camaraderie. Kinship and brotherhood borne that is far greater than any blood ties. In yesterday's blog I wrote about Randy's quest to catch the Unicorn as he qualified for Boston 2015.

Thor posted his Providence Marathon Race Report today on his blog. Please take the time to read Thor's post and be sure to have tissues handy!

At the beginning of the race report, Thor shares what happened to him during his first 100 mile race:
That night, I had a glimpse into my soul, deep into my core, to see exactly what I was made of. And you know what? I actually liked what I saw. I gave up on myself time after time, but each time I got back up and kept going. I refused to be defeated. I would not quit.

That is how I felt during the Marathon Sports 5 Miler in July 2008; my first 5 mile race ever. It was hot. I was tired and it was a fast field. I believed that I didn't belong in the running community and all of the taunts from childhood came back to haunt me that day. But my husband who was by my side through every hill and every moment of uncertainty wouldn't let me quit. I apologized to him for holding him back and being dead last and even told him to just take off. But he wouldn't. He helped me dig deep and get myself to the finish line that day. My Marathon Sports family waited for us to cross the finish line sounding the air horn and honking the horn on the sweep truck. I knew that I could and would run the 2009 Boston Marathon.

Thor's race report takes you through their journey on the road of the Providence Marathon but it also takes you inside the journey of two bodies and souls tied together with a mission far greater than qualifying for Boston.

Today, Randy's interview on the Talking Information Center show, Mission Possible was posted. Please take the time to listen as Randy talks about his powerful mission to bring a message of achievement through adversity and ability awareness. He makes the distinction between vision and sight. You can lose your sight but we cannot and must not ever lose our vision.

So while the journey can get "ugly" as Thor eloquently expresses in his race report, and when we are in the mud we may wonder if we will ever find our way into the light, without the challenges, we would never be able to blossom into the fullness of our Being.

"The marvelous richness of human experience would lose something of rewarding joy if there were no limitations to overcome." - Helen Keller

And be sure to join in the #miles4Quinn community!

All We Have is Today - All We Need is Love

As I was driving down Beacon Street on my way to Spaulding Rehab's Aquatics Therapy Class last night, I noticed that the mile markers have been repainted in anticipation of the running of the 118th Boston Marathon. As I drove through Kenmore Square, I saw the freshly painted "One Mile to go" marker. I got on Storrow Drive and I could not process what I saw in the distance; thick smoke coming from a building.

Oh maybe it's just the smoke from a fireplace in the brownstones being carried by the wind gusts.

We had an amazing Aquatics Therapy Class. I could feel my legs building strength as I did laps with the kick board. Because we had a small class, we received even more individual attention than usual. We could make use of the entire pool since there were no patients and a small class. I was able to experiment with challenging myself using deeper or shallow waters and then talking with Karis, our therapist, about my experience. We did planks using a noodle and I could feel my core strength. I was "deep" into my mind/body connection. I had the equivalent of a runner's high after the class and felt the best I have felt in a long time. The aches and pains that linger with our never ending winter had melted away. They were replaced by soreness and a sense of strength and a renewed sense of healing on a deeper level.

As we drove down Charles Street the #weruntogether banners were flapping in the wind:



Traffic was backed up on Storrow Drive and the Copley Square exit was blocked off by State Police cars. A heaviness hung in the air although it was yet unnamed. Cars were uncharacteristically polite allowing for lane changes. There was an eerie silence as we drove by the fire scene with ambulances and fire trucks and a building that had been gutted. It was another moment frozen in time in less than 12 months in Boston.

When we returned home and went through my Facebook feed, we learned the tragic news that two of Boston's heroes had fallen and 18 were injured and taken to local hospitals. One of the firefighters, Michael Kennedy, had been a first responder at last year's Boston Marathon bombings and was training to run this year's marathon.

Hearts are broken once again in our beautiful city and once again we come together as a community to grieve, honor lives that were lost and see beyond the tragedy to strength, heroism and sharing love and caring. There is an outpouring of love at the Fire Station for those who were lost as flowers and food are being delivered to support Engine 33 and Ladder 15.


I am once again reminded that all we have is today; a lesson I started to learn at the age of 5 when I contracted paralytic polio and my life was changed forever and a lesson I learn over and over and over again. But along with the fragility of life, and knowing all we have is today, I am also reminded that all we need is love to get us through whatever tragedy and trauma life throws our way. While we cannot change tragic events, we can help each other heal through the power of loving and caring for and about each other.

My heart goes out in love and prayers to the brotherhood of firefighters who lost two of their beloveds and their families, those injured in the blaze and those who lost all of their possessions and to all who are moved by yesterday's tragic events.


Out of our deepest wounds we find our greatest strength, our most beautiful treasures and the knowledge that love is far greater and more powerful than any experience we endure.~Mary McManus

Momentum

During the start of yesterday evening's Aquatics Therapy class at Spaulding Rehab, I felt tired and my joints were achy given the never ending winter weather. We warmed up by gently running laps in the pool. We slowly increased the intensity of the cardio workout so that by about 30 minutes into the class we were really moving. I was able to notice how I was able to gain momentum during the class and by the end of the class, felt this wonderful cardio high.

And that got me thinking about momentum...

There are many quotes about momentum such as:

Enthusiasm is the energy and force that builds literal momentum of the human soul and mind.
Bryant H. McGill

When you're that successful, things have a momentum, and at a certain point you can't really tell whether you have created the momentum or it's creating you.
Annie Lennox

And tying in with the never ending New England Winter theme:



I thought about a once blank page now a soon to be released memoir, "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility."



I thought about declaring I was going to run the 2009 Boston Marathon and seeing a year of training loom before me. 5 minutes of running turned into 30 minutes of running and then 1 mile became 3 became a 10K became a half and then a full marathon:



I thought about a whisper of having fund raisers for two of my friends running Boston this year for Spaulding and now Singing Boston Strong:



I can feel the momentum building as I count down 7 days to Singing Boston Strong: Karis' Karaoke for a Kause.

I can feel the momentum as runners build the miles and everyone counts down to the Hyannis Half Marathon; the premier training ground for Boston.

I can feel the momentum and building strength in my own life as I move forward, having healed so much of paralytic polio and trauma. And even when I feel tired or achy, I know that I can always dig deep and find that momentum that carries me through feeling incredible gratitude for all that is so right with my life now.

Making Peace with Polio - Passion for Spaulding

At my husband's new job, he has a flexible health spending account which I learned I could use for massage sessions and for my Aquatics Therapy sessions at Spaulding Rehab as long as I had a letter of medical necessity.

I must say that even though Dr. Darren Rosenberg who heads the Post Polio Clinic in Spaulding Framingham and I might not have always agreed on my healing path, he has been there every step of the way to support me on my journey.

Here is what he wrote in the letter of medical necessity:
I am overseeing Ms. Mary McManus for Post Polio Syndrome, a chronic neurological condition. Due to Ms. McManus' history of paralysis due to polio, she suffers from upper and lower extremity weakness and pain. In order for Ms. McManus to prevent further decline and preserve her current level of independence, I deem it medically necessary for Ms. McManus to have Massage Therapy as well as Aquatic Therapy.

I am doing extremely well for a 60 year old with a history of paralytic polio. I live a full, vibrant and active life. But from time to time, I have reminders of polio - tremors, fatigue, weakness especially on my left side, coordination and balance issues that manifest as I challenge myself with strength training and finding my aquatic strength through the Aquatics Therapy program at Spaulding Rehab. Yet I have a heart full of gratitude and realize how fortunate I am to have been able to heal physically, emotionally and spiritually. This past weekend was a very busy weekend. Thursday evening a trip to Target to stock up for our water table stop. Friday grocery shopping. Saturday a joyful 7 miles and more grocery shopping. Sunday - water stop for L Street. Yesterday and today I have needed to take naps and I do notice that my system needs time to reset. Sometimes I do forget and get ahead of myself but rather than fight to overcome what is happening or experience frustration, I feel a beautiful sense of peace with the residuals of polio that manifest from time to time in my body.

And that brings me to the subject of my passion for Spaulding. Spaulding was there for me in October of 2006 when I was so frightened of what was happening to my body, mind and Spirit. I was a proverbial hot mess and had no idea what my future held if I had a future. Spaulding was there for me as I crossed the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and now again through the Aquatics Therapy Program.

I was in the Mandarin Oriental Hotel celebrating Spaulding and the Race for Rehab Team on 4/15/13 and now I want to be there for Spaulding to raise money to support two of my friends' Boston Marathon run and fund raising efforts.



With 75 days to go, we are counting down and getting ready to Sing Boston Strong at these two phenomenal fun(d) raisers to benefit Spaulding Rehab:

Karis' Karaoke for a Kause happening on 2/20/14 from 8:00-10:00 pm at the Limelight Stage and Studios at 204 Tremont Street Boston. Suggested minimum donation is $20 and you receive a Take a Chance ticket to be entered to win an autographed Tom Brady Jersey. And don't worry if you're too shy to step up to the mic, we'll have plenty of people singing strong. Cash bar and appetizers. If you are unable to join us, with a minimum donation of $35, we'll enter you in the drawing to be held on 2/20/14. Read Karis' story on her fund raising page and make your donation today. Silent Auction Items include autographed books by Bob and Lee Woodruff, A Cape Getaway Weekend, Celtics and Red Sox Tickets, Gift certificates to Stapleton Floral Design and Marathon Sports.

An Evening of A Cappella to Benefit Spaulding Rehab happening on 4/4/14 at Boston University. Terpsichore, Boston University's premier all female a cappella group will be your host from 7:00-9:00 pm at Sleeper Auditorium located at 871 Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, MA. The evening features performances by Terpsichore, the BU Dear Abbeys, BU's In Achord and Bostonality, a post collegiate a cappella group. Minimum suggested donation is $10. Make your donation to Greg Gordon's fund raising page and in the comments section note that it is for the benefit concert.

It's been an incredible 7 year healing odyssey since I took those first very tentative steps at Spaulding Rehab's Post Polio Clinic. Now that I have found my strength, and made peace with polio, it's time for me to help give back. I hope you will join me!

A Calf Stretch, 3 Pound Ankle Weights & the Miracle of Healing

At our Christmas Eve morning Aquatics Therapy class, Karis, our intrepid instructor (intrepid since she is running Boston 2014 for Spaulding's Race for Rehab Team) suggested that perhaps in the New Year, I consider increasing my ankle weights from two to three pounds.

In yesterday's class, I took the plunge so to speak. I was ready. It was challenging and I felt the muscle burn. Karis worked with me to monitor muscle fatigue and watched to make sure that I was able to safely increase the weight while doing the workout.

I felt this sense of absolute exhilaration that I can feel so full and whole in my body and that I have this opportunity to build strength.

As a result of paralytic polio and the posture I grew as a result of 9 years of unrelenting trauma, I was unable to do a proper calf stretch on my left leg. I found a wonderful modification in the pool to experience the stretch in my calf.


But yesterday, a profound alignment shift happened. With ease, I was able to move into a calf stretch on my left leg. What a sense of freedom and joy! I celebrated with Karis. She asked me when my last bodywork session was. I told her it was on Monday. She smiled. I smiled.


The Artist from A Celebration of Life now available on Amazon

With eyes closed
inner sight ignited
his hands find their way
my body the clay
the uncarved block
we create
with breath and movement
new life for a life once shattered
returning to innocence

a new way of Being in this body of mine
sacred spaces reclaimed
kneading what is no longer needed
the artist molds the flesh flushing out all that is not love
out of the formless a beautiful form
magnificent masterpiece I always was
unveiled .

Awakening to my magnificence
what beauty
oh no not the beauty you’ll find on a magazine cover
naked beauty
vulnerable
tender hearted

I tremble
in awe
stunned by clarity
of the violence
yet love
the power of love
I tremble with joy
humbled by grace
I am here
as are you
forever changed.